Downunder
by Fleur06
Summary: What brings the SVU team Oliva and Nick to Australia and the outback. It's a race against time, Can they save one of their own and how do they cope with the aftermath of it all? This has my favourite show Rush which I have moved to Darwin with most of the characters & Law & Order SVU does have Bensidy Starts as T rate
1. Chapter 1

_**This came to me ages ago after watching a movie and then Surrender Benson and never left my mind unfortunately and it just continued to grow from there that I ended up having to write this story a slave to my thoughts.**_

 _ **It is starting out as T but will move to a higher rating later as it progresses .**_

 _ **I was trying to figure out where to put it in, so it is at the beginning of season 15 Olivia went through the ordeal with Lewis, has just moved in with Brian Cassidy, Captain Donald Cragen is still the captain and the team remains the same.**_

 _ **There will be other characters and they are not mine but from another TV show called Rush that used to be filmed in Australia but I have I changed it that they are from Darwin and not Melbourne, other than that all other characters are mine.**_

 _ **It will get pretty dark so be warned before reading it and if you do start you are forewarned that it will get a lot worse but I will warn you in each chapter .**_

 _ **Hope you enjoy reading it and review if you do**_

 **P.S I haven't stopped my other fanfic just having a break from it and this has been in the making for 16 months or so so though so thought I would finally post it.**

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 **SVU DOWNUNDER**

Looking at the notice board another photo there now Olivia Benson was going to catch this rapist if it was the last thing she did the frustration that there had been no clues or DNA or anything that would help them he was becoming a serial rapist and murderer one that was leaving no clues or anything, he was careful using condoms and no traces for them to follow nothing in one month

"that makes four now this girl though is in a critical condition, he didn't get to kill her like the others but the same MO, we think it is the same guy"

Hanging up the phone Nick Amaro turns to Olivia "She is being operated on now, if she pulls through she has severe injuries, she is badly torn from the rape and some internal bleeding and once she is awake the hospital will call but they don't know when that will be, she is in a critical condition"

"What injuries does she have? How did she manage to escape, he doesn't want to be found, he's always been so careful how did he let this one escape, is he over confident now?" Rollins asked them her eyes on the board, had they missed something from the previous cases

"Stabbed, a rape kit is being done one she is stabilised and before they get rid of the evidence, but it looks like a condom was used again, the area is being searched now to see what they can find" Nick replied

"Amaro, Benson head over there" looking up seeing their Captain Donald Cragen walk out of his office towards them ordering them all

"He's getting careless, over confident?" Fin replies his eyes looking at the board, at the photos wondering, hoping they would give them something, an answer anything to catch the bastard

Olivia was determined this time to find out who this killer was, he was getting over confident which hopefully meant he would start to stuff up "This time he was interrupted we have a brief description of him, the witness Peter Mills will be coming in to give his statement he is shaken up from it all"

"don't blame him, this guy is a serial killer Peter easily could have been killed too" Nick replied to Olivia as he picks up the keys to the car

"He still could, this guy has been so careful in the past and now two people may be able to identify him, do we have a police guard on the girls room?" Fin asked the Captain "what about the witness?"

"There will be a police outside her room, the media cannot get hold of this, or where she is. Mr Mills is shaken up, I have to get onto 1PP" Cragen replied walking back into his office.

"Fin, Rollins see if we can get a photo of this guy anything, description we need something, Amaro you and I will head to the scene then onto the hospital once she wakes up" Olivia orders them all picking up her bag following Nick out to the car.

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"Melinda find anything to give us a clue on who he is" Olivia asked with some hopefulness, they needed a break to catch this guy to stop him

"Nothing so far, the blood seems to be a match for the victim, we will know more once we get back to the lab, same as before he doesn't leave anything behind, he has to have done this before, he is careful he doesn't want to be caught, no condom around, packet nothing" Melinda replies looking up at them  
"He will get over confident they always do, then they make mistakes, there has to a way to link all three, when she wakes up, we might get some answers then" Olivia replies her eyes scanning the area, hearing her phone ring

Hanging up her phone turning to Amaro "head to the hospital she is out of surgery and awake, Melinda let us know if you find anything"

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Walking over to the bed "I'm Detective Benson and this is my partner Detective Amaro" Olivia tried to keep her voice soft, calming and reassuring

The look in her eyes she was scared afraid and confused "I don't know what happened, I ended up in hospital and being operated on, my legs are sore and there is a throbbing down there between my legs it is painful and bruising, and…."

"Claire, we think you were sexually assaulted, raped the bruises on your leg is the attacker forcing your legs apart" Olivia replied the empathy in her voice

Her eyes wide open looking frantically around the room "raped, wouldn't I of remembered that happening, I don't remember" her voice panicing "why can't I remember"

"This is not your fault, Why don't we focus of what you do remember" Olivia's voice was trying to soothe her

Her voice was so soft and scared "It's all a blank, all I really remember is waking up here, do you think he raped me?"

"Yes I do, You need to tell me everything you can remember, anything, even if you think it is minor" Olivia asked her, her voice firm but gentle

"I was meeting a guy I met on an internet dating site I was a bit nervous so agreed to meet him in a safe place where there would be people around. I made it to a restaurant that is all I remember, do you think he was the one who raped me?" she asked Olivia her body trembling

"do you remember the name of the restaurant Claire?" Nick asked

Nodding "it was nothing flash, Rockfellows, I arrived about 7.30 met him there and that's all I remember, sorry, then I remember waking up here, I don't even know how I got here" the confusion and anger was in her voice

"You have nothing to be sorry about Claire, this isn't your fault you are here and now that is the important thing" Olivia replied leaning down towards her "We are going to try to find this guy, if you remember anything, even if you think it is small let us know, here is my card call me anytime day or night"

Watching Olivia and Nick leave "How could I be so stupid, I thought I would be safe meeting someone in a public area … why can't I remember what happened who did this why?" she asked tears spilling down her face

"Claire" Olivia's hand gently holding hers, her fingers running up and down her hand slowly "don't try to force it to come to you, he could of drugged you, you did everything right" Olivia moved her hands up slowly higher "this is not your fault, do not blame yourself bad things just happen"  
"Yeah to me bet they don't happen to you" Claire replied bitterly

"You'd be surprised Claire, there are some bad people out there and we are going to try to catch him" Olivia replied

" _Welcome home Detective Benson,…. We will find it…one move lights out" taking a deep breath she wanted those thoughts out of her head the nightmares the flashbacks_

"They happen to me too" she replied softly

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Facing the team her voice commanding pointing to the board "She met Dean Leighton if that is his name on a dating website hotnheavy they went out to dinner at Rockfellows Restaurant and onto a bar that is all she can remember"

Listening as the captain takes over "Fin and Rollins take the photos to the bar and restaurant see if you can get anything, go through any CCTV footage they have, Liv and Amaro we need to get the address of hotnheavy see if the other girls were on the website if Dean goes via any other name, find out anything you can I want to nail this bastard, John go back to the other states see if his MO fits any of the rapes there"

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"Claire I need you to have a close look at these photos, and tell us if you see the guy you went out to dinner with and met on the dating site"

Her eyes closely examining the photos before handing it back to Olivia nodding "Yes this one, he seemed so nice, he had a lovely profile and didn't seem as sleazy as others. You're saying he was the one who assaulted and raped me"

Nodding her head leaning down towards her "we think so"

Tears in her eyes choking back the sobs "Why didn't I fight back or anything, I should of scratched him and got some DNA, I should of fought back"

Reaching out to touch her arm "you cannot blame yourself, this is not your fault Claire if you have fought back you might not be here now"

"I remember bits and pieces now but not much like holding me down, ripping my clothes, I should of done something" her voice distraught

"we think you could have been drugged, that's why you couldn't do anything, why you can't remember anything, we are waiting on the tox screen now, Claire don't blame yourself you will get through this I promise" Olivia voice gentle cradling both her hands in hers

Her tear stained face looking up at her "you are going to catch this guy"

Her voice filled with determination "we are going to try, you have my number call me anytime you need to"

"How could I have been so stupid, I thought a safe place with many people around I would be safe, and I could leave any time if it didn't seem right, it was stupid. My friends all had boyfriends, it was like I was missing out, having someone in my life. I was happy by myself but no I had to listen to what people said, that I should try a dating site, do you have a boyfriend? It's not that important if you don't…" the tears falling down her face

Olivia moved her hands over gently encircling Claire's "You are not stupid, you did everything right going to a place with people around. I do have a boyfriend I had been by myself for years and I was happy single, and an old friend came back into my life, there is nothing wrong wanting to be by yourself, you have nothing to be ashamed off Claire. We are gathering video evidence at the moment, we are going to catch this guy. You will get through this, I know it might not seem like it now but believe me and trust me you will it will take time but you will get there. Call me anytime you need to. There is police right outside your door"

Watching as Olivia and Nick leave "I don't know what is worse not remembering your attack or not being able to stop thinking about it and forget it, at the moment all I can do is try to remember it think what happened"

"It might come back over time Claire, just take one day at a time" Olivia replied gently

"The flashbacks nightmares, the bits and pieces I would rather know what happened than have these flashbacks of what could of happened, the bits I do remember, will they ever stop" she asked Olivia tears forming in her eyes

Cupping her hands in hers "Believe me the nightmares and flashbacks will get less, not as often. It might come back to you, one day you will be able to go a day without having them, then a week, until you hardly have them at all" Olivia replied softly.

She knew all too well about the flashbacks, the nightmares. Waking up in a sweat shaking, bolting upright from a dream that seemed so true her eyes darting around the room sure that Lewis was there with her still. Her hands around her knees rocking back and forth as her mind would go back to the beach house, the drive there what she saw. Trying to convince Brian that she was ok and he could go back to sleep, Brians arms around her until she fell back to sleep that over time it was not as often that she would wake up screaming, shaking.

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Looking up as FBI agent Dean Porter walks in "Congratulations Olivia on becoming a Sergeant"

Nodding her head looking at him her voice questioning "what are you doing here?"

She could still remember the last time they met and how it all ended she didn't want to believe it at first but it all added up they had grown close. The night when she had kissed him in her apartment for a moment she forgot what it was about all she felt was the kiss, something she had wanted to do, she was hurt afterwards that he had betrayed her, she didn't want to believe that he would cover up a double murder .

He couldn't blame her for the way she felt if he could take back part of the last time they met, the last thing he had said to her _"our feelings don't matter"_ he had liked her spark and more about her "your captain in?"

Her eyes and head moving towards his office "in there"

He couldn't blame Olivia for the hostility towards him he had a job to do, he mightn't like what he had to do but he had to do it.

"Olivia" the door to the captain's office opening

Her eyes moving around the room as she heads towards his office hearing Fin calling out "nice knowing you"

"close the door behind you" Capt ordered her

Her eyes moving to Donald and back to Dean "I'm not going undercover for you again, going to pin something on my brother again, I haven't seen him in a while you or going to cover up more murders…."

Interrupting her "It has nothing to do with Simon this time Sergeant, This is about the case you have been working on Dean Leighton, his real name is David Winters and he is from Australia , we have being looking into the investigation"

"Why this is an SVU case, why is the FBI involved" accusation in her voice was he going to take it off her again "Going to get another murderer rapist get off" she asked him sarcastically

"It's a much bigger case now, with the murders and the rape we started looking into it, Winters we found out caught a flight back to Australia two days ago, his flight had landed before we realised. The address we were given the one on his passport"

"let me guess it was a fake no one there?" looking at the captain "why did you call me in here then, if SVU isn't on the case anymore"

Watching as Captain opens his door calling out "Amaro"

His eyes moving around the room first Olivia now him and FBI had they done something wrong.

"Liv and Amaro, is your passport up to date, as both of you along with Agent Porter will be flying out tonight to Australia"

Her eyes wide open "your kidding"

Seeing her captain shake his head the seriousness in his voice "flights are being booked now, we will give you all the information that you need when you get back here, go home and pack then come back here at 5 pm to be briefed your flight leaves at 10 pm tonight"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Wow Chapter two now, will try to update regularly**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who has read it and especially those who have reviewed it, or added it as your favourite, continue to review it please gives me incentive to continue.**_

 _ **I live in Australia so have wanted to write one within Australia, would love Mariska to come down and visit.**_

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"Claire, we think we have found the guy who raped you"

"Really so you have caught him" she asked Olivia hopefully

"not yet, but we know where he is, and we are going to get him, he is going to be caught and charged for what he did to do, how are you going still having nightmares"

"I'm getting there how do you get over something like this, sometimes I'm too scared to go out at night" her eyes moving slowly up to Olivia

"you will be able to move on and live with it, I promise you that"

Shaking her head at Olivia "You can't promise me that, you have no idea, it's like I want to carry a gun with me now"

"yeah I do have an idea Claire I was sexually assaulted twice and I carry a gun with me and I was violently assaulted earlier this year" her voice gentle and soft

"how did you move on?" she asked Olivia surprised

"Admitting it happened, and bringing him to court helped"

"So you 're over it now?" her voice questioning

"I'll never be over it but I can live with it now and I have my life back now, it takes time, sometimes a lot of time but you will get there and I promise you I am going to do everything in my power to bring him to court" she promised Claire

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"Hey babe" feeling his lips on top of her head as she walked through the bedroom door

"I've been trying to call you this afternoon"

"You leaving me already Liv" Brian joked his eyes falling on her suitcase

"That is why I was trying to call you, I have to go to Australia" picking up the glass of water sipping it slowly

"What…. Now, how long for" he asked Olivia surprised as he moved his arms away from his body lifting them up wanting some answers

"I don't know, it's about that case we were working on, the sole survivor all the rest he had killed, they have found he lives in Australia and has flown back there" moving around the apartment throwing the things she needed in her bag hurriedly

"They need you to go down there"

Her eyes moving up to him "Sorry Bri, Amaro, Dean Porter and I we fly out tonight on the 10 pm red eye flight"

"Amaro and Porter are going?" the jealousy in his voice, he hated the thought of his girlfriend going away especially with those two

Her hands touching his cheek softly "I'm sorry Bri, believe me I would rather stay here than go half way across the world to catch this guy, we need to find him and bring him back here, he needs to be charged for what he has done, help the families and the current survivor get some closure to help them move on"

Cupping his face in her hands her mouth finding his "I will miss you" her voice soft gentle

"What time do you have to leave, you nearly packed?" his mouth close to hers his voice husky

"I still have 45 minutes until I have to be back at the precint and just a few more things" feeling his lips on hers his hand moving down to her buckle her pants moving down her legs

"I'll guess we have to be quick then" as he lowers her to the floor his mouth sucking and licking her breasts as he enters her

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"Sorry I'm late" her voice breathlessness "I had to see Brian before I left and I got um caught up stuck in traffic"

She could see Amaro looking at her, did she leave the zipper undone, her shirt undone "what" she mouthed at him

Shaking his head there was something about her, the redness on her cheek, face flushed she actually looked different, good "Nothing, you just look different"

"What do we need to know before we head out of here" her voice back to business

His eyes were full of worry watching his two officers walk out of the precinct he knew they both could take care of themselves but he couldn't shake the uneasiness he felt, sending them off so far away, he hoped the Australian police would look after them they had each other was it the fact that last time Dean Porter pulled rank, killed someone or knew of it and FBI covered it up, the fact that they were away from the support of their squad, despite it all the feeling wouldn't go away

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" _take care babe can't wait to see you again, you are still incredible Brian"_

Closing her phone the smile still on her face, leaning against the seat waiting for the flight to take off

"Cassidy know that you are going away for a while?" Nicks' voice questioning

"Yeah, I saw him just before I left, I'm sure Tucker and IAB will keep him busy whilst I am away, or maybe he will find another prostitute"

She couldn't help the chuckle come out of here the shocked look on Nick's face "I'm kidding Nick, Cassidy would never do that"

" _He did before he wanted to say he was sure he would again without a second thought how or why he wondered not for the first time what his partner saw in him, why she went out with him why she gave him another change, a rape allegation against him albeit false he didn't like the guy he thought Olivia could do better anyone other than Cassidy._ He kept his thoughts to himself not wanting to upset or anger his partner _the only comfort he got was she had someone who helped her through with Lewis, someone who stood by her helped her for that he was impressed but would never admit it_

"how's that going him working for IAB?"

"They work him hard, but he got his shield back and a detective again, that is all that matters " _they took his shield away, there was bad blood between them, they nearly killed him in the process those thoughts went through her mind more than once_  
"With Tucker and IAB"

"he had to start somewhere Nick, he still does the odd UC work too" closing her eyes not wanting to talk about it.

She felt guilty that she wasn't as happy as she should be with Brian being a detective again and despite saying what she did, she did wish he worked somewhere else, it was hard sometimes talking about work

"At least they paid for business class for us" Nick's voice breaking her thoughts

The scenery passing as they rose into the sky her eyes looking out the window, _you are still incredible_ the smile on her face closing her eyes _she could still feel his touch, his breath the look of hunger and want in his eyes as he lowered her to the floor her hands pinned above her head, her body shivering in excitement tingling at his touch. One hand moved down her body, spreading her thighs apart, his mouth moving down, putting one leg over his shoulder , his hand moving from her thigh towards her clit teasing her for a moment before plunging into her._

 _She moaned bucked and arched her back as he moved around inside of her, she couldn't help but grind onto the fingers as they pressed against her clit, she felt his third finger pressed inside of her moving around_

" _you going to come" he whispered to her_

 _She felt his fingers moving faster inside of her, she felt the impeding orgasm coming, she closed her eyes his fingers moving faster inside of her, the other hand rubbing her clit she could feel it coming, her body exploded, shook and trembled as her hands grasped what ever was around, her fingers digging into his shoulders, his arms_

 _His fingers still teasing her inside bringing her down from her high, his hands moving out from within her, pining her hands back down above her, as his lips met hers, as his thick length entered her, her hips bumping against his as he moved back and forth she could hear his deep groans as their hips collided, his hands knotting her hair, her hands digging into his shoulders, her own back arching as she felt his climax come through his body as her body bucked underneath him another orgasm exploding on her._

" _That was amazing" she sighed trying to get her breathing under control_

" _you weren't to bad yourself" her mumbled softly his mouth nibbling her ear "do you have to go yet? "I can make it worth you while"_

" _I'm sure you could, I still have a little while" her foot running up his leg, as he rolled her back onto her back, putting one leg on his hip,_

 _Lowering himself into her, one of his hands moving down her back the other moving up and down her leg, he felt her hand on his shoulder as he entered her slowly, pushing her hips up to meet his. He hit the spot, slowly thrusting inside of her "Oh fuck" she felt her body tremble and start to buck and arch her hands reaching around for something to grab as he slowly kept thrusting, her hands scratching his back, her body quivering underneath him, she felt the climax taking over her body bucking trembling underneath him "Oh fuck" as he thrusted harder and faster into her_

 _They both lay spent on the floor his hand tucking her hair behind her ear neither wanting the moment to end both of them exhausted coming down from the highs she had_

" _I'm sorry Bri, I need to get back to the precinct" her hand stroking his face her lips find his kissing him soft and gentle," I'll call you as soon as I arrive, I'm going to miss you" her voice thick with emotion_

" _I'm going to miss you too babe, especially the taste of you" the smirk in his voice_

 _It had taken a while but they were finally getting intimate back to somewhere before Lewis happened, where she could be intimate with Brian be uninhibited allow him to see her naked._

"your last trip on a plane, was to the Bahama's with Cassidy right Liv" Nick's voice interrupting her thoughts again

"yeah, we had a few days away at the Bahama's, it actually was a great Christmas actually able to spend it with someone nothing too serious, great food, it was … nice"

memories flooding back to her first and last time she was on the plane, Christmas at the Bahamas with her mystery guy Brian, despite it being a casual thing, the hook up it was an amazing time, exploring the island, the food, incredible sex despite it all they still weren't ready to define their relationship or call it as such two friends going away spending time together, they were more than friends just not ready to admit what each other meant or how perfect fit they were for each other.

"I'm going to try to sleep Nick, whilst we can, I reckon it's going to be busy and hectic once we arrive"

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The heat was the first thing that hit them as they walked out of the terminal

"wow I might need to get some summer clothes, this is so not New York" Amaro mused "snow to this"

"Let's get a cab, got to the hotel and get settled in" Dean's voice all commanding as they walk to the taxi stand.

"It's been a long flight, we won't be able to do much today now as it is getting late, lets all get an early night and start early in the morning. Have a look around Melbourne for the small remaining part of the day or relax we have a busy few days no doubt ahead of us, let's say we meet here in the lobby for dinner at 6.30 pm, we all need to be careful"

Picking up his bag, Nick wanted to roll his eyes at Porter, who did the guy think he was or talking to "is he always such a self righteous prick Liv, how old does he think we are, on a school exercusion or what, telling us what we should do today"

"New place new country Nick, he's just being cautious" her eyes scanning the hotel room numbers "this is my room, I'll see you at 6.30"

"You don't want to go and have a look around for a few hours first?" his voice was slightly hopeful "I've just never been to Australia before and wanted to look around, want to join me?"

"Just give me a few to unpack and call Cassidy" the key card opening the door "we can still fit in a few hours"

His arms over his head waiting for his partner down stairs on the hotel lounge, _how long does it take to talk to that stupid boyfriend on hers_ he mused to himself watching each person walk through the door his eyes on the lift waiting for her to get out _Stupid ass of a boyfriend, how could she go out with someone who slept with a prostitute and no doubt many more, she deserves better_ there was no love lost between them, his only redeeming quality was his love for his partner and how he was there for her, how could she even move in with him

"Hey Nick" her voice bringing him back to the present "Can't leave you alone by yourself which one were you dreaming of" she joked

"Huh" confused as his eyes moved up as two blonde females standing near by "No Liv" he stuttered unable to admit "You took your time, Cassidy wanting to know every detail"

"Both of you are as bad as each other" rolling her eyes in exasperation "he's not a bad guy Nick"

"Are we just going to stand here talking, or go looking around Melbourne"

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She had to admit as they dragged themselves into the hotel a few hours later that she had enjoyed herself, better than just lying relaxing just. The tram ride around Melbourne, walking around the docks, the gardens, walking around the mall looking through the shops, going up Eureka Tower the views over Melbourne amazing

"Look at the beaches Nick, the little huts on them, this is amazing" he could hear the happiness in her voice

"There's our hotel, Liv it is pretty nice here"

The silence walking back to the hotel was comfortable their eyes scanning around them as the last of the sun set across the Yarra River, the lights of the city starting to shine through casting shadows on the river closing her eyes briefly, she could imagine walking along holding Brian's hand leaning against him as they look across the river, it been less than two days and she missed him, missed his goofy smile, the way he could cheer her up, even his annoying habits but he was there for her no matter what. She would lean her head against his shoulder as he stroked her hair.

"it's pretty nice here Liv" Nick's voice bringing her back to the present

"yeah it's not too bad" her eyes glancing down at her watch, "we have meet Dean shortly Nick" as they walked back to the hotel

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He had trouble keeping his eyes off Olivia he was attracted to her for a long time, he had wanted her for a long time, the way her eyes shined, her hair just fell below her shoulders, her eyes lit up with her smile. That small kiss they shared at her apartment once just made him want more, before she thought he was a killer, though he had covered up a murder " _our feelings dont matter"_ he wished he could of confided in her. She had a passion about her, in what she talked about, he could just look at her for hours, were the rumours true that she was sleeping with Cassidy, that they were going out?

"Dean, what time are we meeting tomorrow and where?" Olivia asked him, she had to be polite if she was down here with him but that was it, she could still remember the hurt she felt, he didn't trust her, what he was capable off, she wanted to believe him, when he kissed her part of her wanted to lose herself in it, forgetting there were others in her apartment

"8 am in the lobby, we can catch a taxi to the police headquarters" Dean replied

Her phone beeping interrupting them

 _Hey babe, you able to talk or skype_

Her eyes moving up apologetically "Sorry it's from Cassidy"

"Missing you already Liv, or he has no idea how to use anything in the apartment, didn't you speak to him already" Nick joked

"I have no idea why I even told you that" she replied with a roll of the eyes "keeping tabs on me now Nick as to how often I speak to my boyfriend"

That one word boyfriend was all that Dean heard it was true, Olivia Benson was in a relationship with a guy who slept with prostitutes, he had missed out again "Both ready to leave, we have a busy week ahead of us"

The city lights sparkling across the water as they walked out of the restaurant, the moon casting a glow across the water here she was with two guys neither one her boyfriend her hand reaching into her bag quickly texting

 _Will be back at the hotel shortly just finishing dinner now, will talk soon Liv_

"Liv, you coming" she hears Nick call out to her

"yeah, yeah"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you for the reviews and the favourites.**_

 _ **Sorry it's taken so long to update.**_

 _ **This part is long but these chapters are necessary before we get to the action not long until then. I also wanted to see if I could get out the distance and describe it all**_

 _ **Enjoy**_

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"Detective Benson's and Amaro and Agent Dean Porter, Inspector Peter Barnsley, Welcome to Australia" as he opens the door into a larger room "These are Detective Chris Finch, Sergeant Geoff Hawkins and Detective Rachel Hollands, sorry to have kept you waiting, anything you need let us know to help you on this case"

"Tea, coffee is against the wall, water too" he added politely

Opening the folder in front of him "I've read some of this case, we believe that your suspect David Winters has left Melbourne we believe he was born in Darwin. Detective Hollands has gone through some of our unsolved cases and we believe that the MO is the same as a rape/murder from 6 months ago, a 20 year old was found raped and murdered, her body was left up near the Dandenong Ranges. Detective Finch is currently going through unsolved cases from the past few months in Victoria. We are waiting for a warrant to be able to search his bank records and we have an alert out on a car registered in his name. He could easily dump that, too many cars stolen each day in Melbourne let alone Victoria. Once we get the warrant, his bank records might give us an indication in what direction he is heading"

"We think he has left Darwin, we have addresses for him in Adelaide, Port Augusta, Darwin his most recent address we found which states he lived in Broken Hill, the address given on his licence" Sergeant Hawkins continued

"let me guess is nothing there" Nick interrupted him

"There is something there, but not residential it is the cemetery a sick joke no doubt. He moved from Darwin about 3 years ago, we are trying to track down his parents, his father is unknown but we are having trouble finding his mother"

"How do we get to Broken Hill" Dean asked them "a false address doesn't not mean he isn't there, someone there might know him, know where he is now, how far away is it?"

"There is one flight daily from Melbourne, a bus trip, or a two day drive or a train from Melbourne to Sydney and Sydney to Broken Hill, Broken Hill is the outback of NSW on the border of South Australia nearly" Detective Hollands replied to him slightly amused by the American

"I'll get the officers to book you some accommodation and Rachel and Chris will go up there with you"

"Thank you Peter, but we don't need your officers to come" Dean replied curtly

"You are new coming over here, the outback is a vast place, my two detective will be coming with you" Peter replied his voice commanding and firm trying not to be irritated by the American "I will book a hire car for you, to drive up leaving tomorrow, the quickest way would be via Mildura he could of gone anyway, Chris look at missing person and unsolved cases around Mildura, Hay, Ivanhoe, Wilcannia that should give us an idea" turning to face the others "I hope you catch this sonofabitch, anything else you need let one of us know"

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"The warrant has come through, David Winters withdrew a large amount of cash out $3000 four days ago from Melbourne, we have sent his profile to all stations in Australia, he could be anywhere. We have also been given the clearance from the police media to do a brief news report asking for information on his whereabouts and have opened up a police hotline" Inspector Barnsley told the group gathered around the table

"No" Dean's voice out loudly "no hotline, if he knows we are after him he will go to ground, we need to surprise him, for him not to know"

"I disagree Agent Porter, we have spent the night profiling him, and finding out as much as we could David, doesn't stay in one town for long, he moves around. We think he would actually enjoy the media attention trying to outsmart the police, knowing that he is the centre of this manhunt, he has stayed under the radar and not caught now, we think that this is part of the thrill of it all"

"You think" Deans questioned him "you don't know, he might actually want to show off to police and go for more girls"

"Yes he might, and we would get a trace on where he might be?" Inspector Barnsley replied

"And more girls are raped and murdered, is that how things are done in Australia?" Olivia asked in disbelief

"Sergeant, no offence to how you do things in America, the trail has run cold here, we have no idea where he is until he accesses his card, his car is still in Melbourne, no record of him hiring any cars, he has a credit card that is untraceable and a prepaid phone that he has yet to make any calls from, what do you suggest Sergeant Benson, Agent Porter, do you have any ideas on how to catch him. He could be anywhere in Australia, the outback is a huge place to hide and he seems to know this country well."

"What we do know" Rachel calls out to the group "is that we have found some similar cases with a similar MO"

Her hand moving up to the board pointing to the various photos up there "we have found unsolved rape/murder missing person cases in a few outback towns from 2 ½ years ago, Wilcannia, there was a rape and when it was reported to the police there, the report was lost and never followed up, when she took it further her body was found at Lake Menindee, the cause of death was drowning that she took her own life"

"The next person we could find was Emily Davidson" pointing the photo on the board "she was 19 years old, went out for the night at Coober Pedy in South Australia, she left with two men, one of David's description and an older man, her friends reported her missing the next day, her body was never found. It was probably thrown down one of the many mine shafts, or could be anywhere in the desert" Barnsley told them "the previous night there was another rape in Coober Pedy, Nicki Arnold managed to escape but by the time she went to police she had washed and was traumatised. She didn't want to go to court and testify and relive it, so the police couldn't do anything but they suspected David Winters. Nicki left Coober Pedy and now lives in Port Augusta we are getting her address. Sergeant Walker was at Coober Pedy at the time which was 3 years ago and still remembers both incident and is still living there now"

"six months ago in Broken Hill, Stacy Stewart was out with friends celebrating her 22nd birthday and went to the Palace Hotel, she left with a young guy, her friends where a bit hazy about the description and they reported her missing two days later" Detective Finch told the group his eyes moving to the last photo of the board

"Two days" Nick queried

"They thought she had spent the weekend with the guy she met, but when she didn't turn up to work on the Monday they started to get worried. Her bag was found later one, with her mobile phone there was a message that was never sent, _Help and I'm sorry_. The police could still have the video footage from that night but they couldn't make much out from it, they spoke to the staff who recall her there but don't recall her leaving with anyone. We are still going through them all but it seems the outback towns is where he strikes"

"What about the internet dating sites, have you gone through them seeing if anyone from the country towns has gone missing, in New York he met all of his victims that way" Olivia asked them

"We have some of our guys working through that now, trying to match his face to any profiles on the sites. It doesn't look like it, it seems he strikes in the country outback towns, where he can strike easily with the females. The pubs are a great meeting place, a place where everyone goes, so you can try there. If we find out anything we will let you know. The cars are ready Chris, Rachel, will go with Nick via Mildura and up to Broken Hill, Geoff will go with Olivia and Dean, and Senior Constable Katie Willis will join you, taking the route via Ivanhoe and Wilcannia meeting at Broken Hill" Inspector Barnsley said to the group "If we hear anything or the cards or phone are accessed we will let you know, but for the time being that is all we have"

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The scenery changed drastically as they drove along, rolling hills, crops, farmland, rivers it was so different from New York and the surround, it didn't take long to get out of Melbourne and on the freeways, motorways and highways some towns seemed to only have a few shops if that.

"We are leaving Victoria now Olivia" as Katie turns around in her seat "we are going to cross the Mighty Murray River, one of the longest ones in Australia, we are going to stop at Echuca for a break before continuing on. We will stop at Deniliquin, Finley, Jerilderie, Hay depending on what time we might stop at Hay for the night or continue onto Ivanhoe and speak to the police there the following morning, pity we don't have time to show you some of this magnificent country instead of just speeding past it all"

"Echuca is a tourist town, not really David's MO, there are many pubs here, from what we have gathered it is more the outback towns, his photos is getting distributed to all stations in NSW and Victoria still " Geoff explained to them

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Dean could not help but glance at Olivia as they were driving along, her brown hair falling down to her shoulders as her head rested against the head rest the sunglasses hiding her eyes. He wanted to stare at her. He had hoped deep down that maybe they could repair what he had ruined all those years ago. If he was honest he had hoped that maybe he could get to more but he had guessed that she was serious about Brian Cassidy the guy who slept with prostitutes, the guy who had won Olivia's Benson's heart, he had to wonder why she saw in him, was that the kind of guy she wanted, one who lived on the edge or someone experienced.

"How long before we reach Denilik?" Dean asked the them

"Deniliquin" Katie said trying not to laugh "Probably about another 20 minutes, if you think this is far, wait until you reach the outback with 200 km between towns, then maybe another two hours until we reach Hay"

"200 km?" Olivia questioned them, did she hear them wrong "we went through quite a few towns in Victoria"

"Each state is different, NSW, South Australia Queensland and especially the Northern Territory the outback is there and the km between town" Katie explained to them

"just sit back and enjoy the ride, nothing much else to do" Geoff replied

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Olivia had never seen anything like it before the stars sparkling in the sky, the blueness of the sky, the quietness.

"Bri, take the undercover gig, I'll probably be here for at least a week, we haven't even found where he is yet, the distance between towns is far and nothing much sometimes to see"

"You not enjoying it then, I miss you babe, this apartment is bigger than I thought by myself"

"Bri, go away for the weekend, have a few mates around. Take Tucker up on the undercover work"

"You know Tucker Liv, he would probably find an excuse to extend it for a few months, just to piss me off, at least it might stop me missing you so much"

He couldn't help but stare at Olivia the way she tossed her head back laughing at something the person had said on the other end he guessed

 _Last time I was here was under very different circumstances, in a way he was glad her brother had brought them closer together, do you want to go out_

 _I never get to cook for anyone, he wondered if it was the start of something, she had looked so hot in the red dress, he couldn't help but stare and wondered what it would be like to take it off even now as he looked at her, what it would be like to kiss her lips again to take her jeans off_

"Stop it Dean" he chided himself "she doesn't want you, she won't even look at you"

"I better go Bri, I miss you too, I'll speak to you as she slowly turns her head, her eyes questioning why he was there "I'm sorry" he said simply "I never meant to hurt you, I'm not that person you think I am. There was so much I wanted to say to you, it was easier to say our feelings don't matter"

"You don't have to explain Dean, I got it loud and clear then it was 4 years or so ago" Olivia said the hurt still there

 _Is she lying to you or did you help cover up two murders_

 _It's a matter of national security_

 _It's a murder_

 _She did what she had to do_

 _Just like you did_

 _Is that why you shot him, or is it to stop him from telling us the truth which all leads back to you_

 _He had a gun to your head._

"I wish it had worked out differently, When it comes to the job, we have to give up so much, I wish I could of told you more but I couldn't, it was a FBI matter I didn't agree with what Amona did but I had no choice"

"WE all have choices Dean it depends upon what we chose" Oliva replied her hand reaching to pick up the glass taking a sip emptying the glass

"I want you to be able to trust me again Liv, we have to work together for the next few days or week or however long it take to find David down here"

 _I trusted you, why didn't you tell me, didn't you trust me_

 _Our feelings don't matter_

 _As he said that to her all those years ago Olivia knew she did have feelings for him, that was why it hurt so much._

"you can't just expect me to trust you because you asked Dean, you lost that trust when you covered up those murders, I have no idea anymore who you are"

"I'll do anything Liv to regain your trust, I'm the same person from all those years ago, I'm that same person who I don't know how to get you to see that, that I'm not that person you think I am, when we kissed that it meant something that I wanted to kiss you, I wanted to ask you out, I wanted you Liv then" he replied honestly

 _That's what this is about an apology_

 _No you helped me out with that mess with my brother you saved my life a few days ago I think its time I properly thanked you as she leaned in and kissed him, she had to be honest and she did want that, it wasn't all part of the plan for a moment she forgot why she was at her place_

 _Her phone calling reminded her of why he was there, how she had hoped she was wrong_

 _I have to go I'm sorry_

 _So am I_

The surprise on Olivas' face at his confession, confusion in her eyes, her heart wanting to believe him, her head telling her not to "Neither of us are who we were, we have to work together Dean, but it will take more than words and an apology for me to trust you again, I'm sorry that is all I can give you" her hand reaching down to pick up her bag "I'll see you in the morning, it's getting late"

"See you in the morning, it really is beautiful out there, just like you Liv" he replied softly

"Don't Dean, please, I… " unable to continue flustered by his words as she walks away from him

Turning around at the door inside the hotel, her hand placed on the door facing him "Dean, thank you" before heading inside

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They had finally arrived at Broken Hill, Nick was waiting for his partner, they had found nothing much on the way up, now they had to wait for Olivia and her group to arrive.

"Nick" Rachel's voice breaking through his thoughts "the others are still a few hours away, want a tour of Broken Hill whilst we wait?"

"There is enough here to fill in a couple of hours?" Nick asked her surprised

Her laughter was contagious as she tossed her head back, her light blonde ponytail swinging side to side "there is a bit, to see, what do you like art galleries, parks, mines there is a bit to see here"

"I'll let you chose Rachel show me the sites of Broken Hill"

"Call me Rach Nick, it makes me sound like I'm in trouble with my teacher or parents when I'm called Rachel" she laughed her eyes sparkling at the gorgeous American Detective reaching out for his hand

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The roads were bumpy, corrugated rough that once they reached the bitumen again Dean could see he wasn't the only one that was relieved, the distance between towns the heat and the dust

"We still have 200 km until we reach Broken Hill" Katie told them

The distance, the barren land, nothing really within sight, the dead road kill on the side of the road it was something neither of them had really seen before.

Olivia would never forget though seeing the wildlife for the first time, the kangaroo hopping on the side of the road, the wild goats and the dingo. The huge trucks, road trains she was told that passed them, on the dirt roads, some carting cattle to the sales. She couldn't get her head around the huge distances and that some people had to travel an hour just to reach their house.

"We are about 30 minutes from Broken Hill now guys" Katie said bringing them both back to the present.

"Liv" Dean whispered "can we get a drink tonight please and talk, we have to spend the next week or so together, I hate what has happened between us"

"I'll see how we go, that's all I can give you" she mumbled to him, and it was she couldn't give him an answer the truth was despite it all she was hurt, her mind kept going back to the conversation with Dean last night and the last time she saw him. She had replayed so much of the conversation talking to him last night and the trip today.

Could she trust him again,

 _You prick how wrong could she have been then, she had a job to protect the innocent, and he helped cover up the murder, he knew everything and helped her stage the murder._

 _She had wanted to arrest him, but instead he left with her._

Even know as Olivia thought about it, there was nothing much else to think about as they drove on she still couldn't wrap her head around it all, how he could be involved , how he got away with it, how he spied on them,

 _No matter what I tell you, you're never going to believe me_

As Olivia glanced over at Dean meeting his gaze she wondered if she would ever trust him again or would he shut her out and do what he had to do again

"Liv, one drink is all I'm asking for just a chance please" he begged her softly

"I don't know Dean, I really don't know" she mumbled confused by her thoughts going back to the past.

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The hours had gone so quickly and Nick was surprised at how much fun he had with Rachel looking around Broken Hill, he was surprised by how much there was to see. They had finished sitting on the Big Chair overlooking the mines eating, licking an ice cream.

"you were right Rach, there is quite a bit to see it was the perfect way to see Broken Hill" Nick smiled at the pretty detective.

"If you are up to it Detective Amaro, I'll show you the nightlife tonight" Rachel teased him

"You're on Rach, but is there really any nightlife here" Nick asked surprised

"You just wait and see Nick, you can invite your partner Olivia if you want" Rachel told him secretly hoping he wouldn't

"is that what you want?" Nick asked her suggestively

"C'mon Nick we need to get back they'll be here shortly" Rachel said grabbing his hand pulling him down, trying to stop the blush from appearing on her cheeks.

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"Liv" Nick called out as his partner walked into the police conference room "how was the trip up?"

"Different, long, happy to finally be here" she replied tiredly

"Okay guys, quiet please" Detective Finch called out "the trip out here was quite uneventful from what we have found from stopping at the various towns, the reports are there seems to be no recent rapes or murders in the towns that we stopped at. We've spoken to the Sergeant here at Broken Hill, the pubs have a photo of him to keep an eye out, but nothing"

The knock on the door of the conference room interrupting them "Sorry Detective Finch for the interruption a missing person report has come in from Ashton Station which is about 80 km from Menindee, their daughter Kerrilly went out last night to Menindee with friends to the pub, her family is coming to town, they thought she might have had an accident on the way home but nothing, they went into Menindee and her car is still there. Her friends said that she met a guy and they went back to the hotel, whilst she was still talking to him. Her friends are on their way to Broken Hill heading back to work here. Will let you know when they get here"

"Detective Amaro, Rachel and Geoff head out to Menindee, go to the pub and search the way back to the property, look around the town" Agent Porter ordered them

"Liv, you I and Detective Finch will interview the friends and family, we need a photo book put together with David's photo on it" Dean ordered them

"Nick, Rach and Geoff, be careful put protective vests on and keep your eyes on each other at all times, be careful" Chris said to the group watching as they walked out of the room.

The further out of Broken Hill the scenery changed, nothing as far as the eye could see, dead kangaroos littered the side of the road.

"People live out here?" Nick asked Rachel incredibly "they are so far from places, there is nothing around"

"Its their life Nick, they know nothing else, a lot of these places were their parents and parents parent's and have been in the family for generations. If it wasn't for these people the farmers, you wouldn't have meat, crops. You think we work hard, they work 12 hour plus days 7 days a week in 40 degree heat, they hope that it will rain, the drought. Some of these properties are 20000 acres, some 200000 acres " Rachel replied to Nick the passion in her voice

"Sorry this is all new to me" Nick apologised

"I'm sorry Nick, I get sick of people from the city putting the country people down, I know you have no idea. My parents own a property in Victoria, they are still there, they have mainly sheep and crops, wheat, barley it depends. I don't get out to visit them as often as I wish I could" Rach apologised to Nick

"That's the Rach we come to love" Geoff teased his partner "you don't get her started on some things, she's a country bumpkin at heart"

Glaring at Geoff only made him laugh louder "Better than a city jerk" she retorted

"it sounds interesting, don't get much of that in New York or any of that, we have ranches but they are a fair distance in other states"

"if you were here longer, I could of taken you out to the farm, taken you on a horse ride, ride the quad bikes, show you some of the real Australia"

Rachel couldn't ignore the look on Geoff's face the smile he gave her, the knowing look, the glare that she gave him back to shut him up "You owe me big time Hollands" he whispered to her.  
"Kerrilly's sister Aimee should be home and her brother Shaun is out working in the paddocks too, we'll go there first and the pub on the way back" Geoff informed them

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"it looks like David has struck again, no body has been found and Kerrilly is still missing, the lakes in the area are being searched but she could be anywhere, it would take weeks/months to be able to search it all" Geoff explained to the team "we know he was up this way Friday night, he could still be in the area or moved on"

"There has been activity on his card, and mobile phone" Detective Finch called out to the group his eyes still on his mobile phone "His card has been used at Port Augusta, Coober Pedy, and there has been a phone call made from Alice Springs, we are seeing if we can track the number he called, his photo is being sent to all roadhouses between Port Augusta and Darwin and to the borders of Western Australia and Queensland. Tactical Response in Darwin has been contacted and will try to log in to the CCTV from some of the roadhouses to see if they can get a make and number plate of the car he is travelling in"

"We still have a lot of travelling to do in the next 2 to 3 days, we will rest in Broken Hill for the night and leave early tomorrow morning, stop at Port Augusta before heading to Coober Pedy. Detectives Finch and Hollands and Katie will remain in Broken Hill to follow up with Kerrilly case before heading back to Melbourne, I don't have to tell you but please be careful even if it looks like he is now further north. Olivia, Nick, Dean and myself will head to Alice Springs. Get a good night rest it is going to be a long next couple of days" Geoff said to the team

He saw the disappointment on Rachel's face "Rach" Geoff called out to her "I'm sorry, I need you to stay in Broken Hill, I need the Yankies to come with me, if I could I would have you come up with us, but we don't have the man power to do that. If I need anyone to come up you'll be the first one to come, I promise you"

"I know Geoff, it doesn't matter, Nick is just a lovely guy that is it, he lives in New York I live in Melbourne" Rachel tried to assure him or was it herself she was trying to convince

"you still have tonight Rach, but be careful"

"you worry too much Geoff" Rachel laughed walking out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you for the reviews and favourites**_

 _ **Sorry its taken so long I was preparing for a 7 month holiday I am now on, so everything took the back burner but now on the road so hopefully will up date more depending when I have internet connection**_

 _ **Enjoy, have to do these chapters to get to where I need to**_

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They left Broken Hill early, saying goodbye to the Australian's Detectives, unaware of what lay ahead of them.

"it is about 400 km or so about 4 ½ hours or more to Port Augusta then another 540 km to Coober Pedy with nothing much in between" Geoff told them "So buckle up for the long ride"

Her eyes drawn to the Toyota Land cruiser as it pulls out of the hotel with the Americans aboard tossing the keys to Chris "you're driving"

"big night Rach" he teased the younger detective

"you could say that" her mind going back to the previous night

 _They had all gone out to dinner before they headed to the pub to listen to the band there, dancing for hours, laughing and drinking before heading back to the hotel hand in hand. She stumbled in her high heels falling against him. His strong hands catching her, lingering on her waist as she moved her blue eyes up meet his, a smile curling up on her face._

" _Kiss me Nick" she whispered seductively to him as she slowly moved her hands up to his shoulders pulling his face gently towards hers, his mouth stopping close to hers_

" _Rach" he whispered_

" _Shh" her soft fingers moving up to his lips brushing across them before her lips gently moved up to his kissing him softly and gently her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to her_

 _They somehow made it back to the hotel, stopping at her room "you want to come in" she asked him shyly her hand reaching out for his pulling him slowly into her room_

 _They fumbled taking each other's cloths off, as they fell to the floor, before he slowly lifted her onto the bed his lips moving around her body. He had entered her slowly giving her time to adjust to fit him into her before thrusting into her, their bodies colliding. They had spent most of the night exploring each other's body. Her body bucking and arching as she came, the way his mouth moved around her, his hands massaging parts of her body._

 _They had both fallen asleep spent the early hours of the morning for a few hours before waking up again as his fingers slowly trailed down her body._

 _5.30 am showed brightly on the clock and as much as she wanted him to stay "Nick, it's 5.30 maybe you should go back to your room as much as I want you to stay but the others might be up soon" she whispered in his ear as her lips nibbled them_

 _She knew it was a one night stand nothing more, even so part of her wished she could see him again,_

"Earth to Rach, calling Rach anyone home" Chris's voice bringing her out of her thoughts

"you just going to sit in the car or you actually going to come with us" Chris's voice was tinged with amusement "Was it worth it?"

"Huh?" she asked him confused

"The American detective I presume you were dreaming about, you had this look on your face the whole way here Rach, I saw you leave with him last night"

"I was showing him a good time"

"Is that what they call it now, yeah I bet you were" Chris laughed

"Are you going to spend all day dissecting my life, Detective or are we going to actually do some work"

"Can't we do both"

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The scenery was breathtaking after a few hours, the rolling hills, the water with the hills in the background, it was like scenes from a movie

"Wow this is beautiful " Olivia gushed as they drove closer to Port Augusta the mountains in the background

"not too bad, the Flinders Ranges in the distance and Spencer Gulf" Detective Finch explained to them "pity we don't have more time to show you a bit more of this beautiful country we will be coming into Port Augusta in about 30 minutes"

Nick Amaro mind was back in Broken Hill his wedding ring no longer on his finger, last night was the first time he had slept and gone out with someone other than Maria, Rachel was so beautiful as soon as he saw her last night, her light brown hair flowing down to her below her shoulders, her blue eyes sparkling, the laugh as she tipped her head back laughing. The way her whole face lit up when she smiled, it was like she lit up a room and she had wanted to spend time with him Nick.

His phone beeping brought him back to the presence

" _I had a great time last night Nick, have a safe trip, Rach"_

Olivia noticed the smile on Nick's face as he read the text

"have a great time last night Nick" Olivia asked him she had noticed the looks between them and left  
quickly after dinner

"It was fun" he replied simply "Rach was great company"

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"That was pretty much a wasted trip, We are travelling all this way for nothing, do we even know he is here or has been here. We are spending days travelling through nothing and for what,, we don't even know where he is going or is" Dean said frustrated sick of sitting in a car all day.

"What do you suggest then Agent Porter" Geoff asked him "He could be anywhere here and hiding anywhere, he is leaving a trail that we are following him. Any ideas please suggest them"

"it is just like we are following nothing, how do we know he is still heading this way, he could of withdrawn cash he could have friends here in the police or somewhere tipping him off. Are we just going to travel all over hoping we might find him?"

"Dean" Olivia said quietly "they are doing their best here, don't"

"So you're just happy to travel everywhere"

"Yes, if it means we might be getting closer to finding him, I trust Geoff and the Australia Police and what they are doing. It is better than doing nothing and just waiting for him to strike again"

"Nothing to say he won't as we have no idea where he is"

"Geoff, Nick, Olivia and Dean" Rachel's voice came over the radio "we got a hit at Menindee Hotel, we went through the CCTV footage and David left with the victim. We got a car registration and make of the car. He could of dumped it and we have put out a bolo with the details. He had a Toyota Prado white with Northern Territory Number plates 624 Tango Romeo Tango. The car is registered to David Winters. It shows Kerrilly stumbling out of the hotel at 11 pm and hopping into David's car. We are going to do a timeline of when the car would of gotten to Broken Hill and Port Augusta and Alice Springs. We know he withdrew money and got petrol at Port Augusta we are going through some traffic cameras to see if he headed north at Alice Springs. We are searching through Northern Territory now that his car is registered there, his address is a made up station in the Northern Territory, did you want us to contact the police or wait until you get to Alice Springs?"

"Great work Rach, send us through the address and all details we have, and a photo of the car" Geoff replied to her.

"We still have no sign of Kerrilly but he could of dumped her anywhere or she could still be with him if she is still alive but his previous MO I don't think she would be. Her family is frantic, her friends have identified David Winters from photos from the guy she left with too. According to them he seemed like such a lovely guy, so nice and courteous, and cute and gorgeous, that they thought she would be ok with him. He didn't seem like a murderer or rapist to them. We are heading back tomorrow to Melbourne, unless you want us to come up and join you, Broken Hill police will follow it up, it looks like he has moved on from here" Rachel replied

"Stay at Broken Hill for another day Rach go through everything , at the moment we don't need you to come up this way, if we do we can always fly you up. " Geoff laughed

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Olivia's mind was on what Nicki told them at Port Augusta no matter how long she did this job, no matter how many cases she worked some things still affected her, you let your guard down, ever since Lewis she knew even more the nightmares that could take over your life, how you relived it, couldn't get it out of your mind. Nicki was only 24 she was lucky as she said to get away, but she still relived it but she couldn't go to court, she didn't want to see him again to talk about it.

 _I don't want to talk about it, please go. It happened 3 years ago I just want to forget it, to forget him. I left Coober Pedy I couldn't stay there after it happened. There are more girls there that disappeared and were raped I'm sure of it._

 _Nicki could you just have a look at some pictures and see if you see the guy who attacked and raped you there? Olivia asked her gently_

" _I'm not going to testify, I can't" as he hand shakily took the photos of Olivia studying each one. Handing back the album to her "That's him, who is he, has he raped someone else?_

" _his name is David Winters, we believe he has"_

" _he has killed most of his victims now" Dean said to Nicki "Tell us what happened?"_

" _no, I don't want to talk about it" her eyes nervously moving back and forth amongst them all "I have to go, I'm sorry but I can't help you at all, I want to forget it"_

" _Nicki" Olivia said softly "from my experience you can't forget it, the best way to try to move on is to talk about it"_

" _What would you know, have you been raped, think you are going to die" she snapped at her_

" _yes, earlier this year I was kidnapped for 4 days, tortured, viciousally assaulted, you never get over with it but you learn to live with it, to get on with your life, the nightmares start to get less. You do never forget it but you learn to live with it. Can you please talk to us about it" Olivia asked her gently_

 _Nicki looked at her surprised her defences softening "you a police officer you couldn't look after yourself?"_

" _He got into my apartment and ambushed me when I got home, I had a gun on me but I froze, it wasn't my fault Nicki, just like it wasn't your fault"_

 _She didn't see the look on Dean or Geoff's face, Dean had followed what happened to Olivia through the media, he would never forget when he heard that a NYPD detective from Special Victims was missing and heard Olivia's name, he was glued to the news for the days afterwards waiting for news of her. The relief he felt when he heard that they had found her and alive, following the trial afterwards what came out was horrible._

 _Geoff had to look away Olivia came across as such a strong person, he would never suspect that she was a victim, that she was assaulted. He couldn't help but listen to what she was saying, she was good with Nicki she still had such empathy with her._

" _He looked like a nice guy, he offered to buy me a drink, we joked for a while, I felt comfortable with him, when he asked if we could go somewhere y get a bite to eat I thought why not, after all this was Coober Pedy a safe country town nothing much happened here, lots of tourists. We walked down the main street when he grabbed my waist and pulled me into him, I smiled at him laughing and quickly kissed his lips and said I thought we were getting something to eat. He said what about desert first and pushed me into a lane way. His hands went underneath my skirt, I tried to joke and pull his hand away this made him angry. She closed her eyes taking deep breaths it was still like she was there even though it was 3 years ago as she continued on shakily he roughly pushed me onto the ground face first and pulled my undies down. Her breaths were coming quickly as she rubbed her eyes she could still remember how much it hurt he then pushed himself inside of me thrusting away. After he had finished there he turned me over the look in his eyes he was like possessed. He paused briefly whilst he repositioned himself I took the opportunity and brought me hands down hitting him and knees upto his groin as he groaned in pain I just grabbed my bag and ran. It was the one time I was grateful for my athletics training as a child as she gave a small laugh. My friend lived near by I banged on her door hoping that he wouldn't come back, I could identify him I was petrified that he would find me that I ended up leaving Coober Pedy and changed my surname. Katie wanted me to go to the police but I couldn't I hopped in her shower and just scrubbed myself and when I found out that Emily Davidson went missing the next night I wasn't going to the police. I've heard that 2 more girls have gone missing over the years too one they think from Coober as she was a tourist travelling the other lived there. After finding Emily had vanished I wasn't I kept the skirt for a little while just in case but she shook her head I'm married here now and want to forget that night. I was lucky but he caused some damage from the rape. I'm sorry I can't help you but I'm not going to testify"_

" _I'm so sorry Niki but you've been a great help" Olivia said to her reaching for her hand_

" _I hope you catch this bastard, I have to go now" as she walked away_

"After listening to Nicki, I don't know how Olivia and Nick you do this every day, with people who don't want to report it or testify. To see it all" Geoff said quietly

"It's not that they don't want to some just can't, like Nicki relive it. Many times even if they don't get a guilty verdict bringing them to court helps them, they have confronted it, told them it isn't ok that people get to listen to their story. It is the only time really that the victim has to prove that it did happen to them that they are grilled they have to prove it happened. Even if we just win a few, they have a voice, we listen to them" Olivia replied passionately.

"We are nearly at Coober Pedy, we will stay here the night and hopefully reach Alice Springs late tomorrow night. The police there have been told to stop and search all cars coming in from the north and south and his number plate has been given out to all South Australia and Northern Territory Police. We think he is still in Alice Springs or surround as per his credit card he has filled up with fuel there. Still no sign of Kerrilly though" Geoff told the group

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They had been in Alice Springs for a few days now with still no sign of David or Kirrilly, his phone records though showed he was still in the area, despite road blockages he was getting in, that they wondered if he had another car and disguise.

"Sergeant George Dickinson, head of this unit here in Alice Springs, we have had road blocks each day and limited staff at night but no one has seen him come in" he told the group "We have 2 major routes in and out of town which are checked. Maybe he is on his way further north"

"His card statements show he is still in town" Geoff replied to the Sergeant

"let us know if we can help you or if you need any extra help, sorry I need to go" George apologised to the group

Nick looked at Olivia "Friendly and helpful much, think we are on our own"

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Friday night arrived, and it was time for them all to relax as they headed to the bar for the night, a few of the local cops had come along with George Dickinson who was much friendlier and more relaxed.

Olivia could feel her head starting to spin as she brought her hands up rubbing her eyes "I'm going to say good night guys, and make it the night, was nice meeting you all" her words slurred as they came out

"Liv I'll walk you up" Dean said to her his hand on her elbow steadying her as she stumbled

How much had she had to drink, Olivia Benson never went out and got drunk feeling Dean's hand on her arm steadying her "I'm not drunk Dean, I haven't even had that much" she slurred.

She looked so damn beautiful her hair tumbling to her shoulders, he had liked Olivia since he met her undercover, what they had ruined a while ago, her brown eyes sparkling her hair shining under the moon light

"Let's get you back to your room" sighing as she leans against him "can you walk Liv?"

"Of course I can, we could have been good together you know why did you do it" the words coming out all together

He kissed her softly on the top of her head "how much have you had to drink Liv, aren't you with Cassidy now?"

Feeling his hand gripping her waist steadying her "not a lot, a few glasses of wine I think, Cassidy and I, we're what do you call it, casual a hook up nothing serious, why did you say our feelings don't matter, I thought you liked me"

"I did and do Liv, I wanted you so much, I wanted to go out with you I thought when we kissed it was the start of something but instead it was you using me for your investigation"

"Do you want to kiss me now?" she asked him, her brown eyes boring into him

"Let's get you back to the hotel and your room"

Her eyes looking around the resort, a slight chill in the outback air as she shivered "it isn't too bad here, here we are at the hotel"

Her hands fumbling with the key card as she drops it "oops" turning to face Dean "you coming in, fancy a nightcap?" slightly slurring her words

He couldn't move from the spot, watching as she goes over to the fridge taking out the bottle of wine "want to join me, you know it's bad manners to make someone drink a bottle alone" she pouted

His eyes were drawn to her, her slender body the way her brown eyes lit up there was no denying that he had wanted her for a long time, that he had blown what they had, his eyes watching as she takes off the coat, the shawl she had on, he was drawn to her, he couldn't deny that.

She moved closer to him as they sat down on the lounge in her room she could see his eyes watching her "you want to kiss me don't you?" she teased him "what's stopping you?

"your boyfriend Liv, I don't know what's happening between you but you and Cassidy….."

"You're here Dean Cassidy isn't, you know you want to" as she leaned closer to him her hand reaching up for his chin "just kiss me Dean" she whispered as she felt his lips on hers and his hands moved down her body fumbling with the zipper on her pants

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	5. Chapter 5

_**The following chapters are pretty harrowing so be warned to read them, they do contain violence and torture in this one.**_

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Opening her eyes slowly moving them around the room, she was feeling groggy and sleepy she had no idea where she was, all she knew they were no longer in the car.

Feeling a kick in her ribs her eyes moving up "your finally awake sweetheart"

Her ribs were hurting and head and face throbbing, reaching her hand it wouldn't move trying her other hand and her feet she started to struggle it was no use her arms tied behind her back and her knees together she felt his arm underneath her dragging her inside, her eyes upon him she didn't want to show fear

"you're not going to get away with this" Olivia hissed at him

Throwing her down on the bed wincing with the pain as her ribs hit the hard mattress, his hand roughly grabbing her arm yanking them up to the top of the bed his lips making their way up her arm as she whimpers , whispering into her ear "that's what you think",

Kicking out with her legs with all the strength she could muster tied together, the gun pushed to her mouth "stop struggling or I'll do you cold"

Her eyes staring up at the ceiling panic and fear in them she had escaped this once could she do it again _"Please please, why why, no this can't be happening_ ".

She could feel him next to her leaning on the bed over to her, closer to her feeling his lips upon hers trying to turn her head away his hand forceably turning her head back "don't turn your head away from me" he growled into her ear

His tongue forcing her mouth open and moving around inside a small cry escaping her lips before moving away the smile on his face as his lips run down her arms.

Her voice stronger than she felt "what do you want?" maintaining eye contact with him

The smile on his face giving her the creeps walking around the cabin "what all men want, you, I want to fuck you until you can't walk anymore, hear you scream then I will decide what I want to do with you"

Her eyes blazing at him she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of showing any fear he repulsed her "the police will be out looking for you by now, let me go and we will say this is an accident, I got lost, tripped and fell"

Gripping her face between his hands roughly "you still trying to bargain with me, I thought we went through this before"

"I'm offering you a way out"

Holding the gun to her head "I told you last time No, you're not going anywhere, do you really think they will find you, you are mine" feeling his fingers running down her face her body frozen in fear "and mine alone you will soon find out what that means if you think I put the last girls through hell, just wait until I'm finished with you, you will be begging me to end your life"

Spitting onto his face "you're more delusional than I thought"

Her eyes looking up at him watching in disgust as he wipes the spit off his face looking at it before putting it in his mouth, before his hands move down to her thighs, feeling his hand between her legs cupping her down there her body frozen " _this can't be happen, this can't be happening_ " turning her head away "I think we're passed that, oh you were so sweet when you were knocked out Sergeant"

Her eyes moving up to him in defiance "don't touch me"

Getting up off the bed moving away from her "I'm going to do much more than that by the time I've finished with you, what William Lewis put you through will be nothing compared to this" walking closer to her whispering in her ear his hand running down her face flinching at his touch "the party is just getting started "

Closing her eyes at his touch turning her head away from him fighting back the fear how could she let this happen again, she had let her guard down once with William Lewis and now this.

His hand yanking her head back around "you do not turn your head away from me, got that" hissing at her

"I just have to get a few more surprises for us but I will be back, you're not going anywhere, if by some chance you do happen to escape you won't even last the night" he threatened her

Her eyes moving around the cottage, where was she, her hands and feet tied tightly to the bed. She had no idea what this place was, her eyes scanning for some way to escape some form of weapon to use anything to help her, listening for him coming back thrashing around the bed her legs tied up but kicking the bed posts, her hands yanking the ones she was tied to, did she think she could do it again, no iron bed this time, not posts on the bed, just a wooden bed frame

"help, help" screaming out hoping against hope someone would see her

OOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You're reach Liv, leave a message"

he was worried Olivia was never late to work the call going to voice mail again not ringing out no answer by his partner

'Liv it's Nick, we are in Australia now its 9.30 am" where are you he wondered

He could see Sergeant Dixon walking in looking around moving over to his desk the permanent scowl on his face

"Amaro, where's your partner, I don't know what you do in New York, but just because we are in the outback and another country, doesn't mean she can keep casual hours, get her here at once" his voice snapping at him

Pulling his seat out he didn't like this guy and the sooner they finished the better off they all would be "I'm going to her hotel room, to see where she is, this isn't like Liv to be late"

"she probably decided to take a long weekend, since she is away from New York"

He wanted to punch him in the face the guy was a jerk

"Take Constable Tuckerman with you, she's probably still asleep in bed"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo

The drive short back to the apartment "is your Sergeant always like that" Nick questioned the Constable

"He's just been transferred here from Adelaide, but you don't want to get on the wrong side of him, if he likes you, you'll have no problem but if you don't he will find so many things wrong, there are already a couple of guys who have asked for a transfer from here, but I've said too much, just forget it"

Knocking on her hotel room door "Liv, it's Nick, Liv"

Opening the door slightly calling out "liv"

Looking around the serviced apartment turning to the constable "be careful what you touch, we could be dealing with a missing police officer here"

"you know maybe she decided to go away, to take the day off work, the apartment doesn't look like its been touched or anything taken"

"There is no way Liv, would just take off especially when working on a case, it isn't like Olivia she gets buried deep into the cases" snapping at the constable

Hearing the constable from the door of the bedroom "Is you partner usually this messy"

His eyes searching the bedroom he had no idea what his partner was like at home from what he saw her apartment was usually pretty clean but the bedroom, he had never gone there turning to the constable "I'm going to call agent Porter, something has happened to Sergeant Benson"

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The door opening again her heart sinking the terror she felt her body trembling watching as he walks over to her, his hands gliding over her body, moving down cupping her thighs "really think someone could hear you out here" growling at her

Her eyes watching his every move as he walks over to light the fire "there is so many things you can do with a good fire" her eyes widening watching him take in delight holding something over the fire "once I take each item of your clothing off, you might appreciate it more or not" he told Olivia shrugging

Her eyes moving up to the ceiling, the memories of Lewis coming back to her, the days of torture to her the scars still on her breast and parts of her body where he burnt the cigarettes into her, the key the smell of burning flesh, would she be so lucky to escape a second time before anything happened, would someone come knocking at the door, would they find her, her squad would they know she was missing yet, would they even know where to find her.

Feeling him undoing the cuffs her heart beating faster "you don't want to do this" her voice shaky even to her it sounded stupid how many times had she said that to someone, feeling his arms under her body lifting her up dragging her to the chair

"I think I do, you try anything you will regret it" his voice menancing tying her hands behind her back as Olivia grimaced as he tightened the rope, her brown eyes showing confusion.

Watching as he walks back to the fire her eyes unable to move away from him watching as he lifts something out of the pan, the hiss of the flames licking at the pan as he slowly walks back to her, holding up something admiring it, her body trembling "something to commemorate your time in Australia and to remember our time together"

Her body shaking, her eyes open in horror watching as he walks the few steps closer to her, bringing up the piece of metal her eyes fixated on it as he torments her with it "aren't you going to beg me not to do it" he asks her taking delight seeing the fear she is trying to hide.

Shaking her head, her voice in resignation "why would I bother you're going to do it anyway" turning her head away from him looking down trying to block out what was going to happen the permanent reminder of where she was, the smell of burnt flesh that smell you can never forget the reminder of the torture they put you through.

Shrugging admiring it in his hand "you're right, it even has Australia on it" he knew it was going to take longer to break her, her had profiled her, she was the one that he wanted to get to, he was told about the torture that she was put through with William Lewis that he went through the newspapers reading everything he could. The more he read about what William had put her through the more he wanted her when he heard that she was looking for him, he was going to get her first.

He could feel himself getting hard just thinking of what he would do to her, how it would feel to be inside of her, listening to her scream as he thrusted inside of her.

Feeling his hand on her face turning to face him "Don't turn you head away I want to watch your beautiful brown eyes and hear you scream as I put this on you"

Feeling him move her shirt up she could feel the heat as he moved it towards her back trying to stop her body from trembling as he pauses centimetres away from her body,

 _She was groggy from all the vodka that Lewis had forced her to drink but she could still feel every burn with the cigarette butts, keys and whatever else he could find to torture her with. I tripped and fell_

 _What about the burns, she's like a dog with a bone as he pressed his finger into the burn into her neck as she cried out in pain, the cuts and burns on her arm, and her breasts the scars still there_

Olivia is brought back to the present as she feels him press the metal against her skin her eyes open wide at the hissing metal as she feels the skin burning away, it is pressed harder and firmer against her biting her lips unable to keep the scream in as a searing burning pain passes through out her body.

What felt like hours but was shorter the burning sensation still there but the feel of the metal gone it had gotten too much, she had tried to move away escape from the pain and the burning only to have it held in place and pressed harder against her back

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It wasn't too long before Agent porter arrived, his eyes scanning the apartment remembering the two nights ago he knew he shouldn't of done it, shit she had a boyfriend one he didn't want to get on the wrong side of, he had no doubt if Cassidy ever found out he wouldn't take to it kindly her body arching and bucking " _stop if Dean it was one night and now she is missing"_ he mused

Hearing Amaro's voice brought out of his thoughts "You know Olivia, this isn't like her"

His eyes searching her bedroom for anything for something, his eyes moving to the bed, there was something about her bed moving over examining it closely "Olivia wasn't here by herself,

His breath stopped did Nick know it was him, of course he didn't how would he, his eyes moving to the bed how it felt to have Olivia under him, on top of her, the touch of her, his mouth on her clit, feeling her hands moving around the body " _fuck me now Dean, I want to feel you inside of me"_

 _Her hands on his bum pushing him further inside of him, his hands slowly moving up her body, massaging her breasts, nipping them as her body started to arch, moaning "Don't stop Dean"_

Trying to keep his voice normal "why do you say that" shit he was an FBI agent he should know all of this, Nick's eyes on him he gathered he thought the same

"she had someone in the bed with her, there is no way she would willingly sleep with someone else she lives with her boyfriend"

Raising his eyes at Nick that word live he knew they were going out but he hadn't heard that they had moved in together "Brian Cassidy, she lives with him"

Nodding his head, not even looking at Porter "yeah, lived with him after the Lewis thing, then they moved into an apartment together a few months ago, they both gave up the least on their apartment and got another one"

"maybe she wasn't happy with him" realising he had said his thoughts out loud

As much as he didn't like Olivia's boyfriend, he hated to admit it "no they were happy together, she was happier than she had been in a while and in a good place" his eyes scanning the room he was sure something had happened to her partner again and again he had failed to protect her his eyes moving to a small object on the floor holding up a used condom "we need to get CSI down here now"

Olivia had moved in and living with Cassidy he couldn't get those words out of his mind, why the heck did she sleep with him, he should of realised something was up with her when she wanted to have sex with him, with CSI on the way down would they find his semen in the bed, they were careful and he had used a condom, looking at what Amaro was holding the evidence all pointed to him, would the police here believe that it was consensual that she had wanted to have sex with him, would they think he was part of this, whatever this was and wherever Olivia was, should he tell Amaro that the condom was his, could he actually hide it, where was the other condom, he had thrown one off, before they had sex again later on, the bathroom that was where he put it when he went to the bathroom.

Moving away from Amaro towards the bathroom, looking into the rubbish bin, there it was the used condom, picking it up could he an FBI agent get rid of what was evidence " _it had nothing to do with this, you didn't do anything she didn't want, all this will lead to them questioning you_ " the thoughts mulling over in his head

Reaching down to pick it up, he had to get rid of it it was easier this way, going to put it in his pocket hearing Nick's voice questioning him "What are you doing?"

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She didn't know what was worse the actual burn when it happened or lying here with her back touching the sheet the irritation and pain there, trying to move to get comfortable, each time her back touched the sheets the pain radiated through her body, her eyes watching the ceiling trying to forget what was happening.

Her eyes moving back down slowly moving across watching as he paces the room "Scissors" her heart beating frantically as he opens each drawer, her mind going back to the beachouse

" _Scissors, this should do" the sound of the can opener on her legs how could this all be happening again, why this isn't happening_

"I knew this place would have scissors or a knife" she could see the scissors shining, with each snip that they made against her clothes she flinched she didn't want to but it was the reminder of what was to come, her face showing the confusion after he stopped at the one leg of her jeans

"don't worry Olivia, we will get to that the other leg and items of clothing but just not yet" climbing onto the bed touching her arms

Turning her head away from him a cry escaping her lips with his lips on her arm "you know you're not getting out of here alive" whispering in her ear

Her eyes facing the ceiling, trying to block out the pain, the fear , trying to get her thoughts away from where she was.

Her legs now tied to the bed each movement she made causing her agony on the burn on the back hearing him closer to her his voice growling "didn't think I was finished did you, I have one more mark to make on you"

She watched as he reached down to the fire place the flames licking at the pan, as he gently picked it up, holding it up admiring it, she moved her eyes away from him her breathing coming more rapid "this one is so you will remember who did this to you, so that you will never forget what happened here, never forget who you are dealing with and that for the time being you belong to me"

She couldn't help but move her eyes to him "go to hell" hissing at him her eyes opening them wider as they move to her thigh, her perfect legs that were to be permanently scarred along with her back.

As he lowers it to her leg "that's where you're going sweetheart, D W what better way to remember me than have it permanently burnt onto your leg, if you do get out of here alive you will never forget this moment, if you're a good girl I will do the two initials together otherwise it will be done one at a time"

The heat felt worse this time as it was pressed against her leg, she could yet again feel her skin burnt away by it all, she didn't want to look down at it, she didn't want any reminder of what was happening, this time she wanted to kick her leg out to get it off her, the pain was unbearable it seemed hotter the scream that came out of her even she didn't recognise it.

"Scream as much as you want music to my ears"


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you for the favourites and all who are reading it**_

 _ ******This chapter is worse, and contains violence, rape and torture if it will set you off or trigger something please do not read. If you do read it is at your own risk. *******_

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Porter had been acting weird ever since Nick had told him about Cassidy and Olivia, he didn't want to think it but was he involved in it all, he had heard something had happened with the last case SVU and him worked on he had no details about it.

Following him to the bathroom something was going on, he didn't want to believe one of their own could be involved in Olivia's disappearance but looking at him picking up something from the rubbish bin and putting it in his pocket told him that he was hiding something.

Porter froze hearing Nick's voice "What are you doing" how could he explain would he even believe him "it's not what it looks like"

"it sure looks like you're tampering with evidence, or taking it away, what do you have in your pocket. It looks like something happened to Olivia and" Nick accused Porter

"you think I had something to do with Liv's disappearance" his voice full of disbelief but he knew what it looked like, to save himself but more importantly Olivia he knew he had to tell Nick  
"Olivia and I went out to dinner the other night, we both" shaking his head slightly he couldn't say they got wasted he was sure he would think the worse that he raped Olivia when she was drunk "we ended up back here and we spent the night together"

Did Porter expect him to believe that "you expect me to believe that Olivia came back here with you and slept with you, whilst she is going out with Cassidy and lives with him" Amaro said in disbelief

"I knew she was going out with someone, but she never said they were living together I didn't know that, we… we had a few to drink and ended back here, shit Nick don't tell me you have never wanted to fuck her she is hot, every guy in NYPD practically wants to fuck Olivia Benson"

He wasn't going to answer that of course he thought his partner was hot but he had no romantic interest in her, the thought had cross his mind a few time would it would be like to be in between her legs but he had never gone there "she's my partner, I'm married, I've got a kid"

"you're marriage is on the rocks, your wife lives elsewhere with your kid, I had nothing to do with her disappearance, yeah I had sex with her two nights ago, the condom on the floor and the one in my pocket will have my DNA and semen in it, it was an amazing night, you're missing out if you haven't done her"

He didn't even see it coming, the fist hitting his nose making him lose his balance his voice seething in anger "If I hear you ever talk about Olivia like that again, you will get worse than a bleeding nose"

Holding his nose "fuck Amaro, you're lucky I don't press charges against you"

"you're fucking lucky I don't report this to CSI and have you investigated, if Cassidy finds out a bleeding nose will be the least of your problems" Amaro hissed at him

Holding a tissue against his nose "Olivia is missing and despite what you think of me at the moment I had nothing to do with her disappearance, get the police down here, get them to search the apartment, go down and look through the apartment cameras, I will get onto them to search the cameras of the surrounding areas, do we have any idea what she was doing over the weekend, if she met up with anyone else"

" I'll let Cragen and the others know and speak to the staff here"

"don't let Cragen know just yet" Dean said curtly to Amaro

"why" Amaro questioned Dean "they have a right to know and would want to know"

"until we know something for sure, don't they will worry being over there, I want something to be able to tell them first" for the first time there was worry in his voice he was scared that something had happened to Olivia,

 _The look on her face as she woke up the surprise, shock as her eyes darted around the room, her hands moving down his chest as her eyes opened up moving up to his, he couldn't mistake the disbelief shock in her eyes as they darted around the room "What are you doing here, what happened?" as she bolted upright her eyes darting down pulling up the blanket covering her body_

" _This, this didn't happen" she managed to stutter "tell me this didn't happen, what the fuck happened" her voice was getting louder_

" _Liv" he started tentatively "you ok" he asked her worriedly_

" _What do you think" she spat out bringing her hand up to her head which was throbbing "why, what, how did this happen" she asked confused, Cassidy was her boyfriend why would she sleep with Dean she was with Cassidy, she lived with Cassidy she wanted to be with him, why would she do this._

" _you don't remember, I took you back to your room, and you invited me in and started kissing me" Dean started to explain as Olivia raised her eyebrows in disbelief_

" _stop it Dean" she yelled at him "I have a boyfriend, I'm with Brian Cassidy I wouldn't"_

" _I wouldn't do that" she said quietly_

" _I'm sorry Liv, I shouldn't of slept with you"_

" _Bit late for that now, it's happened" she spat out bitterly_

" _Liv" he said gently reaching out to her as she flinched at his touch_

 _He stopped at the door glancing at him he didn't want to leave her like this "Liv" he started_

" _Get out now" as she turned his back to him she had no idea how, why would she, as she lowered her eyes resting her forehead in her hands she didn't remember anything why couldn't she remember anything._

Dean's eyes scanned Amaro before looking at the bed, he knew she was upset over what had happened between them, maybe he should of tried harder to talk to her again he had left one or two messages, he should of seen her again tried to talk to her again.

He had gone to her room again he was worried about her to make sure she was ok.

" _Don't Dean it was a mistake it was all a fucking stupid mistake that shouldn't of happened, I don't know why it happened why did I let it happen. I have a boyfriend" watching as she put her hands in her head "just leave just go"_

" _you going to be ok Liv, I'm sorry" and he was_

 _She didn't even look up at him "I'll be fine, this it to never be talked about again, it shouldn't of happened I have no idea why or how" she tried to think back to how it all happened but she couldn't remember anything_

 _He had tried to call her several times but each time it had gone to voice mail, should he have tried harder "Liv it's Dean I'm just ringing to see how you are, call me or text me to let me know you are ok, and I am sorry about what happened"_

" _Liv, I will stop calling you when I know you are ok, just a text will do"_

 _He should of realised when she didn't answer any of his calls what if something had happened to her._

"we need to review all footage of all parts of the hotel, any idea what you partner was up to this weekend" his voice full of authority

"I would of thought you would of known that or did you only fuck her and leave" Amaro replied his voice harsh

"I care for Olivia always have if I knew she was serious with Cassidy I never would of slept with her, shit, if she was serious with him, why did she want to have sex anyway" the last thought he had been wondering

"That would now explain why she wanted to go out by herself on Saturday, she went out to the MacDonnell Ranges, she hired a car I think and went out there, she came back that afternoon I think but I was out" Amaro replied remembering

" _Nick I just want to be by myself, I just need some time to think, go and see Alice Springs, see what Dean is doing"_

" _You sure you're ok Liv" Nick asked her he was worried not that he would tell her_

" _Im fine Nick" she lied trying to smile "I just had a…. um it's nothing I don't often get time to myself so this will be good, I'll see you when I get back, maybe we can do something tomorrow, look around Alice if you haven't met someone"_

 _He watched her walk out of the hotel, he was being silly he told himself_

"I think she went to the bar but I got back late and when I went to knock on the door Sunday morning there was no answer so thought she had gone out by herself again, I should of checked them"

"We are going to find her Amaro" his voice full of determination, he only hoped that what he was thinking could of happened to her didn't

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Hearing the door close behind her she tried to move but she was heavily tied, her legs were tied tightly to the bedframe and her hands cuffed and arms stretched out to the top of the bed all she was ending up with was a sore shoulder the fabric irritating the two burns on her body. No matter what she did she couldn't get comfortable, she could feel her eyes starting to close fighting to keep them open.

She tried to kick out but it was useless she had escaped this once she needed to again she tried to buck and thrash but her body was unable to move "help "help" screaming out as loud as she could

She had no idea how much time had passed she had given up screaming wanting to save her strength. Her eyes had moved around the room but it was sparse the fire and bed nothing she could use if she did escape

Her eyes staring up at the ceiling following the lines along, the insects that were crawling along the ceiling, listening for his return

She wanted to curl up in the foetal position to wrap her arms around her legs, to rock back and forth to get away from the pain on her back the fabric and lying in the one position irritating the burns.

The fear and terror she felt at what she knew was to come _"we will get to that"_

" _Scissors I knew" each sound of the scissors she flinched as he moved his body up to hers "We'll get to that but not yet"_

" _I think you're afraid of me, all talk not much action"_

"Someone has to find me"

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The quality of the CCTV footage wasn't the best but it was something, better than nothing their eyes not moving from the screen having to go through hours of it, not as of yet wanting to take it back to the police station, neither of them wanting to admit that one of theirs was missing that they had come over here to find David Winters, instead one of their own was missing, neither of them wanting to admit the fact that maybe she was his next victim.

The only thing they had found out so far from the staff was she went out during the day sight seeing which Nick knew and looking around but came back about 5 pm, they were now waiting for the night staff and manager to come in or return the phone calls.

There was hours of footage from the various parts of the hotel to go through, her floor, the elevator, lobby, bar and restaurant and just outside the hotel, they wanted a break through anything even something small but so far nothing.

"Sorry to interrupt but Melanie is here who worked last night and the night manager will be coming in Arthur Bidwell, and the afternoon manager will be starting in about 30 minutes, let me know If you require anything else"

"thank you, is there a room we can use?" Porters said crisply

Watching as Melanie walked out of the meeting room, Porter the first to speak "finally something, we know that Olivia came back at 5 pm, we need to speak to the bar staff who was on last night, go through the footage about 8 pm to midnight and see where she went after the bar"

He didn't want to think about it, but what if someone had spiked Olivia's drink the first night, what if someone had followed her that night, he should of picked up on the signs that she didn't have that much to drink as she kept telling him, was her drink spiked last night and she wasn't so lucky, he was going to get the footage from the previous night, study it both there had to be something from both nights.

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No idea how long he had been away for but the creaking floor in the dark signalled he was back, the only light was the fire, even with that she could see his outline as he moved towards the bed, her body shaking, trembling with panic and fear his words echoing in her mind " _later"_ she knew that later was now.

Thrashing out her arms and legs bound unable to move she couldn't stop her body from shaking as her eyes moved up to meet his, the edges of his mouth turning up in a grin, that smile like Lewis.

She could feel the scissors working up her legs of her jeans until her legs were bare with only her panties on, each movement, cut they made she flinched, flinched at his touch at the movement. His knees either side of her legs as he made his way up her shirt, she wanted to move her hands down to cover her bra and undies, his hands cupping her between her thighs before moving up cutting her bra and panties.

"what a beautiful sight" whispering in her ear as his hands moved roughly over her breasts "I see Lewis made his mark on you, but those scars have healed up pretty well, don't think these will"

Closing her eyes as his hands poke the burn on her thigh "My mark will be with you" feeling his mouth of her breasts giving a whimper at his touch, as his teeth leave an indentation on them.

His hands moving roughly over her body, up her leg, grabbing her breasts squeezing them hard, she was frozen with fear, of what was to come, her body starting to shake uncontrollably this was not happening to her, not now she had escaped once before she could do it again " _this isn't happening, this isn't happening"_ watching as he undid his shirt and buckle from his pants told her it was going to happen and the tightness of the cuffs she wasn't able to escape

"you tell me what is worse the burns or this" he said

Her eyes moving up to the ceiling blinking back the tears that were forming, she had come so close before to escaping, thrashing against the bed but there was no relief or escape now.

Climbing on the bed on top of her, feeling his fingers inside her making her jump, the pain already there feeling his breath next to her ear as he whispered "you're so not ready for this"

She felt his hands rubbing her breasts her nipples tenderly, squeezing them sucking them, as his fingers moved down to her clit, his touch so gentle it was almost like he was trying to

"no please" she sobbed she could his hands rubbing her clit faster slightly firmer, her the revulsion she felt made worse by the betrayal of her body, she could feel her body reaction to his touch. His mouth on her hardened nipples sucking, flicking whilst the other hand rubbed her clit faster

His mouth moving down to her clit his tongue moving around the revulsion she felt made worse by the betrayal of her body, she could feel her body reacting to his touch, to his mouth down there "please don't" sobbing .

His hands roughly moving her thighs further apart moving his lips from her breasts down to her clit, sucking, his tongue moving around, she tried to will her body to stop

She could feel her body respond arching and bucking the tears streaming down her face feeling her body start to tremble and quiver telling her she was reaching the climax, trying to prevent herself from coming "I don't want this please" she sobbed realising this time there was no escaping, that her body was not listening to her

His fingers were so gentle massaging her nipples and breasts as his tongue licked and sucked around her clit, she tried her hardest to fight against what was happening, to will her body against the sensations "God please"

"are you sure, that isn't what your body is saying, you already want me inside of you darling, don't worry I will be and soon, just let that orgasm rip through your body, by the time I finish with you, you will never want another one again, go on you know it feels good"

Her body wasn't listening to her she could feel with each move of his tongue the orgasm coming she wanted it to stop but as his tongue moved faster she felt it rip through her body "oh god, fuck " the words sounding foreign someone elses her body crying as it tore through her body, she felt ashamed and disgusted about her body betraying her

Feeling him position himself at her entrance, her legs still tied "Your wish is my command, you tell me what is worse this or the burns now open up for me"

Her body shaking uncontrollably the tears falling down her face she was sobbing as she felt him at her entrance as his long hard length entered her the first thrust painful as he painfully thrusted into her brutally and viciously continued with each thrust worse than the previous as she screamed and begged for him to stop.

She lay there staring at the ceiling as the assault continued on her body, broken and bruised, he had brought her to the orgasm before ripping her apart viciously and brutally.

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 _ **This story just wouldn't go away, so I gave in to it, I have never written anything like it before and don't think I will again for a long time it might even get worse.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Warning again for this chapter, it does contain violence, assaults and rape**_

 _ **It is a dark story, and there is a light at the end of it all, I am a slave to my thoughts and this idea would not go away**_

 _ **Read if you dare, and be forewarned, please don't read if it will trigger anything**_

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I've got something, she walks out of the bar at 10.30 pm like Phil said it but have a look at this, she gets in the lift, to go up to her room, the guys face is hidden from the camera but the look on Olivia's face she recognises it the surprise on it and recognition then fear it looks like, instead of going up to her room, they go down to the basement, she is tossed into the car but parts of it is very blurred" Nick's voice echoing through the empty room his eyes open in surprise and fear as the face comes onto the scream exiting the car park "oh shit"

Both of them looking at each other "Olivia was taken by David Winters"

"I'm calling Cragen now, he needs to know" Nick said to Dean

Porters eyes scanning all of the CCTV 'who was she having drinks with, his face is turned from the CCTV, the other person…it could be an officer from the NT"

"its as if he knows there are camera's in the bar and he is avoiding them, he has his back to the CCTV the few times he does go to the bar his face is hidden, can we get someone to blow it up to see if they put something in their drink and see if we can get some glimpse of his face, who ever he is, helped this Winters guy and is in on it" Nick said angrily to Dean

"we need to speak to all the police who were there Friday night, she has met someone she knew, the way she is relaxed with them" Dean said walking out of the room he was going to find Olivia and alive.

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She finally recognised it was over, how long had it been hours she had no idea, she could feel what she presumed was blood and other bodily fluids running down her leg into a puddle. She was defeated and broken, he had finally done what she had fought so long and hard for, he had raped her. Even without moving she could feel the ache and pain between her legs, the throbbing that was there.

Pulling himself out doing up his zipper "you were the best I ever had, I will be fucking you over and over again, now rest up I will be back shortly to give you another pounding down there, loosen you up more"

She expected to feel something but at the moment she felt nothing, numbness but the pain was there, the pain was there the whole time, her eyes had moved up to the ceiling trying to forget what was happening to her, the pain was a reminder of what had happened the whole ordeal something she so wanted to forget the horror of what was happening.

Leaning down towards her naked body, his mouth moving to her breasts his tongue on her breast sucking it before leaving an impression of his teeth, her eyes staring blankly ahead the proximity of him again, cringing at the contact panic running through her that he wasn't finished that he would resume where he left off, frozen at the thought of another violent assault

She lay there staring straight ahead into nothing, shattered devastated unable to process what just happened to her.

What would happen when he was finished with her, how much more would her body endure turning her head away she couldn't look at him, she didn't want to look at him, feeling his hand on her chin turning her head forceably to look at him "turning your head isn't going to stop you looking at me, there is still so much more we have to do together" he leaned down whispering in her ear.

Hearing the door close behind him the tears falling freely down her face, she Olivia Benson had been raped and she could see no way out of it, she wanted to curl up in a ball, bring her knees up to her chest instead she was tied to the bed as she bled down below as the pain was overtaking her body and mind.

She expected to feel something but at the moment she felt nothing, numbness and pain, the pain was there the whole time, her eyes had moved up to the ceiling trying to forget what was happening to her, the pain was a reminder of what had happened the whole ordeal something she so wanted to forget the horror of what was happening.

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They needed the police help, they couldn't find Olivia by themselves, had they left it too late to find her, the board filled with photos and notes

Agent Porter now had to address the police they had gone through everything to get the information required "A NYPD officer has gone missing, she was last seen in the carpark of Aurora Alice Springs hotel being dragged into the car a Toyota Landcruiser registration NY 61 YT, the car is stolen, reported Saturday morning. Last sighting we have of the car is heading north on the Stuart highway 11 pm Saturday night, she could be anywhere by now, alerts have been put out on the car but he's probably dumped it or he could have been anywhere by now. The suspect David Winter is considered extremely dangerous and should be approached with caution"

Sergeant Dixon moving to the front taking over his voice commanding "Tactical Response will be coming down from Darwin to assist in the search for Sergeant Benson, the first few should be here with the hour or two the rest are driving down and should arrive early tomorrow morning hopefully by then she might be found, until then, each car coming in or out of Alice Springs is to be searched north south, east and west, lets get moving to try to find Sergeant Benson"

"What about bringing the Aboriginal trackers in, to search the area north of Alice" Constable Williams questioned the Sergeant

"Until we know an approximate location of Sergeant Benson the trackers would be of no use, it would take up too much man power and time if we don't know an exact location or area" Sergeant Dixon's voice told the conversation was now over

Moving over to the constable before he was leaving "What is this about trackers finding Olivia, would they be able to tell where she is?" Nick's voice questioning with some hope

The constable shrugging "I've only been here a short time, but the trackers have helped in a few cases further north and in a big case a few years ago they were brought in but too late, police had gone over the area first which meant they couldn't find a path or anything. The aboriginal trackers have been great at finding things, I thought it would be worth a try"

"Sergeant Dixon" waiting for his attention "if the aboriginal trackers are going to help find Olivia, then why not bring them in, this is a NYPD Sergeant here gone missing, we need to use all resources possible in bringing her back" Nick was trying to control the anger and emotion in his voice

"Detective Amaro, this is Australia let me do the job here, I know the best way to get her back, and the trackers is not the way to go not yet,"

"this guy is a monster who know what he is doing to her, any help in getting her back should be taken" he explodes

"you do your job Detective Amaro and let me do mine" and with that he was out of the room.

He couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right, was it the fact that his partner was missing, the one thing that kept going over in his head was Agent Porter sleeping with Olivia, was it jealousy or something else, why did his partner sleep with someone when she was involved with Cassidy

With a deep sigh he knew he had to ring Cragen, maybe he could help him with Agent Porter with a heavy heart he waited for the phone to answer "Capt it's Nick" how was he to say it "Capt, Olivia is missing, it looks like David Winter has kidnapped her"

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The fear and terror she felt as she heard the door open listening to his footsteps walking over to her, shaking trembling

"please no more, I can't" her voice pleading

"it doesn't matter what you want, it is what I WANT so get ready for another pounding baby, loosen up that tightness down there front and back" he growled at her

"why are you doing this, what do you want" her voice barely a whisper

Undoing his belt and taking off his shirt moving back on top of her feeling the mattress dip under his weight "that would be no fun telling you why, I want what every guy wants and you're going to give it to me" his lips coming down hard on hers, yanking her head back around "don't you dare turn you're your head away when I'm talking to you" slapping her face

His mouth moving down to her clit again watching as her body betrays the way she feels at his touch "by the time I've finished with you, you will never want another orgasm again, each time you start to come you WILL remember me and what I did to you afterwards" growling in her ear

The sickening smile plastered on his face as his lips run down her stomach turning her head away "why … " shrugging his shoulders "because I can, you really think turning your head away is going to help you, stop it happening" leaning down his mouth on her ears "it won't"

Her eyes moving back to him "please don't, I can't" she pleaded she didn't know how she would withstand another assault her body was already sore and bruised.

His body at her entrance spreading her legs roughly apart his hands on her thigh "too bad sweetheart, as I'm just getting started, there is a lot more where this came from" before entering her with his hardened length each thrust more vicious and brutal than the last.

Her eyes staring up at the ceiling, numbness falling over her the pain overtaking her body she didn't know how much more she could withstand. Her mind going back to somewhere else, anywhere but where she was now, was this payback for cheating on Brian for the one night she slept with Dean was this how she was being punished.

Would she come back from this, at the moment she wanted to curl up and die get away from the pain down below, the damage that he was doing to her.

The sun was just rising glimpses shining through the hut to some degree she could feel him finally starting to withdraw from her the grunt as he releases himself into her, her eyes blank.

She was listening to him waiting for the zipper of his pants to go up for him to get off the bed she could feel the blood coming out of her dripping down her leg, what damage had he done to her.

His hands were moving down her leg she was frozen with each touch she was losing this battle, did anyone know where she was her eyes moving up to his "you're not going to get away with this my squad, my partner the whole police force will hunt you down"

His body on top of hers his lips running down her eyes a whimper escaping her lips "that's where you're wrong I am getting away with this if you think they will save you think again" he could see her thinking "those beautiful big brown eyes"

The spit coming out of her mouth, he didn't see it coming, wiping it off his face as his hands roughly grab her face, before slapping her across it "that wasn't a smart move "he snarled at her his hands moving roughly down her legs undoing her feet as it moved roughly over her "one wrong move lights out" his voice menacing in her ear

She couldn't move she was frozen, her body shaking uncontrollably, the tears falling freely down her face his hands moving to her face wiping the tears with his fingers "I've never seen such a better sight, let it out let it all out"

His hands were under her body before she knew it tossing her onto her stomach, she could feel his hands moving down her legs resting at her thigh.

Using all her strength she was keeping her legs together feeling his hands trying to pry them apart "you're not that smart are you Olivia, here was I thinking you might need a break but that well, let's just say I'm ready to start all over again I don't need rest, you are going to find that out, open up those legs of yours you don't want to lose this battle"

She was pretty sure she wanted to win the battle there wasn't much more her body was able to take, she wanted to turn around to have some control to be able to see he had moved away from her which scared her more than if he was there.

The bitch was going to lose she was going to give him everything he wanted, beg for him to do anything, beg for her life he was going to break her, he was going to make sure even if she did escape or they managed to find her she would remember him for ever.

"This is a reminder that when I want you to do something you will, no stupid moves, no closing your leg if I want to fuck you each way then I will"

She didn't know what was happening until she felt it on her this time it was her bum cheek without warning he pressed it there holding it there, her screams filling the room begging him to stop

"That's right scream Olivia beg for it to stop, begging for mercy, it's not going to help you"

The searing heat going through her body as he pressed it harder against her tender skin, the pain already there from the previous assaults, biting her lips she didn't want to scream to give him the satisfaction but she wasn't able to hold it in for long

"that's right baby scream, just let it out scream no one can hear you" delighting in the pain he was causing

The tears falling down her face "please stop, I can't, please" her voice pleading through her sobbing.

Tossing the key away his hands roughly pulling her thighs apart, feeling the resistance still his finger poking into the fresh burn "okay, Okay please" her voice weakening through her sobs

She had lost the battle feeling his hardened length at her entrance his hands gripping her waist and with one thrust he was inside of her mercilessly assaulting her already battered body, his hand moving up to her head pulling her hair and head back with each thrust each one more vicious than the last.

She could feel him withdrawing himself unable to move not knowing how much more she could endure, just when she thought it was over he gave one final hard vicious thrust inside of her more brutal than the others the scream coming out she didn't even recognise"

Pulling out zipping up his pants "oh god that was better than I thought by the time I finish with you those two fuck holes will be caves wide wide open"

Buttoning up his shirt "after that I need a rest" leaning over whispering in her ear "but I will be back"

His hands roughly tossing her over tying her feet up again to the bed the pain from the new and old burns not even registering from the throbbing between her legs new blood running down her legs mixing with the old dried blood already caked on

Her eyes were staring up at the ceiling she was a shell of her former self would she ever come back from this each movement no matter how small pain radiated through her body she wanted to block it all out, wanted it to end she wondered if it was better if he just killed her

The only thing that was registering in her mind was pain, throughout this whole ordeal pain was with her, it wasn't going away it was a reminder of the horror she was going through.

Walking back over to her spinning it around in his hand the metal of blade shining against the sun coming through, "just in case you are thinking of escaping" with those words it was shoved inside of her, she didn't see it coming or expect it closing her eyes grimacing in pain leaning down over her kissing her hard on the lips "just think of the damage that could do to you, I could use the blade next time, I'm feeling nice at the moment after what we went through so the handle of the knife will do but just remember there is a blade attached to it" she felt him twist it around inside of her

With that she heard the door of the hut close the tears streaming down her face, her hands tied tightly to the bed, trying to move her body to relieve the pain the burns of the sheet were doing only caused her pain the handle moving in her with each slight move, the pain already unbearable made worse, closing her eyes trying to blank it out go to another place any place other than here

"help, help" screaming out would anyone hear her would anyone be around

Resignation set in she was by herself no one was coming to save her, no one was coming to help her she was with this monster and not for the first time she wondered if she would get out of here alive.

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 _ **Will anyone find Olivia, is he by himself or is someone else helping him**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**I'm sorry this is a dark story that got in my mind and wouldn't go away so I am a slave to my thoughts for this story.**_

 _ **This chapter is only slightly better, there is still a way to go**_

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She was losing her energy each assault and attack she felt herself giving in, her eyes had lost the brightness in them, they were hollow would she ever get out of here would she ever come back from this.

Each time she heard the door open she shuddered wondering what violent assault would occur to her this time. Not for the first time she wondered how she got herself here and if anyone would find her how she could of have this happen to her.

She was weakened, no idea how long she had been away time had gone, was it two days or even three, she didn't know the assaults continuing how many times had he raped and sodomised her, each time worse than the previous her insides bruised and torn.

He had made sure she couldn't move, her hands and feet tied tight each movement she tried the blade of the knife causing her pain, pain that she was all too familiar with, pain that showed her she was alive and still here.

Her eyes staring up at the roof trying to focus on something anything " _do they know I'm missing, Is Nick blaming himself, Does Brian know, did he come over, is he blaming Nick, are they looking for me, do they know how took me"_

Her mind a jumble of thoughts going back to a few nights ago waking up next to Dean the horror on her face " _why, why Brian can't find out" the look of horror on her face as she realised what she had done, was she drugged then too, that was the only reason wasn't it, she wanted to be with Brian that she was sure of._

Brian her boyfriend " _I love you Brian but I never have told you" the relationship that was so undefined convenient more than anything the perfect fit, both of us putting work first and us second, the hook up and sex, sex sex "would I want that again" the thought of anyone touching her, he was so patient last time would he be the same again until William Lewis she thought that it was casual that it was just something to they found someone else, but it wasn't they moved in together, he looked after her, when she woke up in sweat and shaking from the nightmares each night he was there, stroking her back, getting her hot chocolate not saying or asking anything as she hugged her legs tightly as they were brought up to her body rocking herself back and though he wouldn't say anything but he was there if she needed him._

 _The first time they slept together after Lewis he was so gentle the light out so he couldn't see the mark he made on her, going at her pace asking if she was ok, "Bri, I'm not going to break I want to do this, I can do this, just make love to me like you used to" he was gentle as he entered her she pushed him deeper into her, the months of pent of sexual frustration coming out as they both came._

 _How did I let it happen again, how could it happen again why can't I even look after myself, why is this happening_

She wanted to stop the thoughts in her head trying to process it all, she didn't want to think not about now, the past or the future _future_ that word would she have one would she and Brian have a future now

" _You're not getting out of here alive"_

The tears falling down her face unable to process it all, not wanting to process it, she wanted her mind numb, unable to take it all in, but her mind and thoughts kept her alive, kept her thinking, thoughts she necessarily didn't want to think but they were there, was it better than nothing, better than the pain she was feeling, the pain that showed that she was still here and alive.

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He had failed Olivia yet again, his partner was kidnapped was she even alive still, he had no idea where he could of taken her, he had no idea where to start, part of him didn't want to believe Agent Porter was involved, did they only sleep together, he couldn't get that out of his mind.

He ended up betraying Olivia's trust in telling Captain Cragen about Olivia and Porter something in his mind didn't ring right, his detective instinct told him was it Porter or someone else, he was going to get to the bottom of it, and if that meant taking Agent Porter down and exposing him and Olivia then that was what he was going to do.

The buzzing around the station there was a new kind of energy renewed one, one that started to give Nick Amaro some hope. The first part of the tactical response group had arrived, he was glad to have someone else in charge, there was something about Sergeant Dixon he just didn't trust the guy, he had no idea why but something was just not right, maybe now something would be done.

"Amaro" looking up seeing Agent Porter motioning to him "we are going back to the hotel, Katie Withers who was working that night is back, we're going to speak to them all again"

Following behind Porter his captain trusted the guy he couldn't trust anyone, not whilst his partner was missing not until she was found and he was sure no one else was involved.

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How could it happen again how could Olivia be taken he never should of trusted her partner Amaro with her, sitting up waiting for the plane to take off his thoughts going back to phone call from Cragen " _Brian it's Don Cragen here, give me a call when you get this message or if you can drop into SVU when you are available"_

 _He should of realised then, he had panicked when he got the phone call and walked quickly to the precinct, the look on their faces when he walked in was all he needed "capt what's going on here"_

" _have you heard from Olivia at all"_

 _Shaking his head he was starting to get worried now the worry in Don's voice "Not since Friday night, we skype, you know Liv she gets caught up with the cases and forgets what day or time it is, has something happened"_

 _His stomached dropped as he heard the following sentences "We think Liv, has been kidnapped"_

" _What, again, by whom?" his voice questioning, so many of them_

" _David Winters"_

" _The suspect that they went to Australia to see, how did he get her, how did it happen, have they found her" even as he said the last sentence he knew the answer it was hopeless_

" _we don't know all the details yet, it seems she was taken Saturday night they are following leads and trying to find out, but the outback is a huge place. We are catching a flight at 7 pm tonight, to take us to Darwin and then down to Alice Springs, we should arrive there late tomorrow night" he could hear the sadness frustration in his voice_

" _I'm coming, book me a seat too" and with that he left the precinct hurrying back to their apartment._

 _His eyes scanned the apartment as he throw his stuff in a bag, the photo of them together her arms wrapped around his neck, leaning against him, her perfume on the table they had to find her, she had managed to escape last time would she be lucky enough this time_

The flight was long and stressful for all, he could see the worry in Don's eyes Olivia was like a daughter to him and her she was lost again in an unknown place, Fin and some FBI agent doing anything to distract themselves, how was he going to survive the 14 hour flight

"why didn't Nick look after her, how could this happen to her again. Its been two days again two days what has he been doing to her, if she's still alive" musing to himself

"Liv's alive Brian, Liv's a survivor she will get through this" Don was trying to reassure Brian as much as himself, he didn't tell him it was coming up to 3 days.

"it took me two days last time Capt, over two days before I went to see her, I should of known she wasn't answering her phone I left her some messages, I stood her up, I should of known LIv wasn't petty and that she had a reason for not phoning me back, I thought maybe she was busy, I should of known" his voice softer "I should or realised and known, two times now it has happened twice"

He knew what it took on her last time, the emotional toll it took the nightmares and now this all over again would she pull through it again, what was he doing to her.

"We can't think like that Brian, we are going to find Olivia and when we do she will need our support again, she is a fighter" did he believe his own words, as her captain he felt he had let her down, she was special to him, meant a lot to him, the flight taking longer than he wanted, his thoughts like Brian could Olivia pull through this ordeal again, this guy was just as bad as Lewis if not worse and unlike New York the outback was a vast place easy to hide a person and body. The flight was going to be long, he just hoped that maybe by the time they landed there was some news and good at that.

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Want a drink" her eyes moving up to his she was thirsty and dehydrated but did she trust him, did she want a drink badly

"What did you put in it?" her voice barely a whisper she was losing her strength feeling the weight of his body next to hers the mattress dipping

"nothing, if I wanted to drug you I would show you what I was doing, I'm not one for doing it behind your back, I want to watch as you see what I do, watch the horror on your face, the disbelief the begging and pleading please don't" his hands moving up her arm, her skin crawling with his touch

"You try anything, it will be lights out, one wrong move" pointing the gun to her head she could feel herself nod the fear in her eyes.

His hands helping her move upwards, her hands still tied behind her back "Now you be a good girl" she froze as his hands moved down cupping her between her thigh "we'll get back to that later, you need your strength can't have you tiring out on me, there is still so much more and longer to go"

Her eyes moving up to meet his "You're going to hell Winters" she spat out at him

"am I" planting his mouth firmly on hers, hearing her whimper "there's still a lot of shock and awe before that will happen"

Her eyes moved down to the bottle of vodka he was holding, her mouth firmly pressed closed  
 _He held the bottle of vodka to her mouth, forcing the liquid down her throat, he had drugged her, and force fed her alcohol, "I'm a man of my word"_

"Open your mouth" he demanded feeling his hand across her face, bringing her back to the present

Turning her head away the vodka in his hand, feeling his hand forcefully turning her neck and head around "you don't get to say no"

She wasn't opening her lips twisting her head slightly feeling the back of his hand across her face pulling her hair drawing her face back, before his hands squeezing her face tightly "Open up your mouth now bitch" growling into her ear

A whimper escaping from her lips shaking her head, feeling the lip of the bottle at her lips "drink this, and I'll give you water afterwards"

She didn't believe him but she was desperate opening her lips slightly she could feel the liquid being poured down her throat, her mouth held into position

"Cmon drink drink, That's right swallow, more" tipping it down her throat, she couldn't drink anymore it was coming too fast, trying to turn her head away her head held firmly in position, her eyes moving up meeting his the grin on his face. She couldn't take any more of the vodka unable to move, spluttering it up his grip firm as the liquid continues down her throat.

Just when she thought she was going to pass out, coughing she couldn't take it any longer he pulled the drink away, coughing spluttering

"I'm a man of my word" holding the drink slightly away from her, moving forward the water soothing trying to swallow as much as she could all too quickly it was taken away

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Rubbing his eyes it had been hours since it all happened late into the night, Olivia had gone missing 2 days before it had taken them yet again 2 days to realise she was missing what sort of partner did that make him, in a foreign place he had let her down again " _I'm so sorry Liv, I should of looked after you, should of known"_ it was a hard phone call to Cragen and the squad to let them know that Olivia was missing

They would have been on the plane by now, would Cassidy blame him, the only relief he slightly had was when and he was sure he would, when Brian found out Olivia slept with Porter he wanted to be in the room.

They hadn't found out much more than what they already knew, except Olivia didn't have much to drink either night

"It looks like Liv's drink was spiked Friday night and when that failed, Saturday night they succeeded, we need to go through the footage again, take it back to the station and see if we can find out who she was having drinks with both nights" _how did he not pick up on the fact that something was wrong she kept saying she wasn't drunk he didn't believe her, why didn't he notice why_

Amaro felt slight relief knowing that Olivia hadn't been sober sleeping with Porter would Cassidy feel the same, the anger he felt though of what someone had done "how could you not see that there was not something wrong, her drink was spiked" he exploded

Hanging his head slightly that question he kept asking himself "I'm sorry Nick I really am, I should of noticed but…" how was he to say that he had wanted Olivia for so long and fucked up so long ago

"You couldn't say no, you wanted her and she was there" Nick replied sadly would he of rejected her advances part of him hoped he would but deep down he knew he probably wouldn't

"you being there Friday night with her, stopped whoever else was helping this guy kidnap her then, he wanted her, and when he couldn't get her the first time he went back again and whoever this person she was drinking with, if we find him I think we find out who spiked her drink and who helped him"

The drive back was silent each deep in their own thought, each wondering if she was going to be ok, if they would find her in time, how would she ever recover from the ordeal.

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 _ **The next chapter is the cross over with Rush and will have characters from the TV show rush which used to be on TV here and such an awesome show.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thank you for the reviews and favourites and reads, sorry I've been out of internet range on and off, and you sometimes lose motivation if you think people aren't reading it. Here it is anad I will try to add another chapter soon too.**_

 _ **Back to the darkness again, and will someone please find Olivia**_

 _ **It came from reading and remembering some TV shows etc about what happened and how I would love an SVU down under, this chapter is no better and still contains rape and violence, so please don't read if it will upset or trigger something**_

 _ **This chapter onwards also involves my favourite Aussie show which is no longer on Rush and has the characters from that show which is Tactical Response but has been moved to Darwin rather than from Melbourne**_

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The group had gathered in a room set up, Olivia's face on the board along with Winters, finally Amaro felt some hope that something might be done, wanting the time to fly to find Olivia and for his squad to arrive.

"Listen up everyone I am Inspector Kerry Vincent from Tactical Response and have now taken charge of this situation, we have a New York Police Sergeant missing since Saturday evening, it has now coming up to three days since she was first taken" her voice had taken over and she had taken command from her first word she had everyone's attention "Winters has had a huge head start on us all, here so he could be anywhere, we are having the planes come in on the morning to look for his car from the aerial view, we have informed all the homesteads and stations within a 800 km radius to look out to us, and not to confront him and let us know, there are many outlying huts, stations houses, caves, he could be anywhere, all we know is he was last seen heading north on the Stuart Highway, Tennant Creek, Katherine and all police stations in the Northern Territory have been given the information. The team on the way down will be stopping at all Roadhouses. We will be breaking up into groups/teams all information of teams will be put on the notice board. We are not giving up until we find Sergeant Benson" she had taken control immediately and her authoritive no nonsense voice they had paid attention. It wasn't that had caught Nick's eyes but her natural beauty, she radiated confidence commanding and getting everyone's attention

His eyes followed her movement and for a brief moment he had forgotten what he was here for, what they were here for "Leon, we will set you up over here, let me know as soon as you have everything set up"

"Inspector Vincent, Detective Nick Amaro from NYPD, I'm Sergeant Benson's partner"

Smiling at his American Accent "Wish we didn't have to meet under such unpleasant circumstances Detective my team is one of the best in Australia, my Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake" nodding to a guy standing nearby and Senior Constable Stella Dagostino are two of the best around, the rest of the team should be arriving later tonight or early tomorrow morning" her eyes moving to Lawson turning apologetically to Nick "I have to go, we will catch this bastard"

"Sergeant Dixon, has anyone seen Sergeant Dixon around" Kerry called out

"he left a short while ago, said if you needed him he would be on the sat phone or radio" Nick could tell the constable was nervous

"Where did he go" her eyes were boring into his making the constable nervous

"um I'm not sure, he got a phone call and said he was following up on a lead or something" he mumbled

"Great just great, the Sergeant here just goes running off" the irritation in her voice, just made Nick like her even more.

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The cuffs undone as his hands went under her body, she was feeling the lack of food and water. His hands under her as she is lifted off the bed, dragged over to the middle of the room, her hands tied up to the beam her shoulders aching at the strain and position they were put in.

"what are you doing" even as she said it the question was hopeless why would he tell her, did she even really want to know what new torture he would do to her

His hands grooping her roughly moving around her, closing her eyes trying to block it out feeling a hand slapping her cheek his voice rough "you don't get to close your eyes on me, open them I want to see them as I tear into you again"

Hearing the door open again her eyes turned towards the door opened in surprise watching as he walks over to her, the look on his face she knew he wasn't here to save her

Leaning down snarling at her "you really think the police will find you and save you. You are getting everything that comes to you" his hand roughly grabbing her face.

Her eyes moving up to the ceiling a feeling of hopelessness and despair coming over to her, hearing the zipper coming undone her eyes moving down watching the pants fall to the floor

The hand roughly turning her head to look at him "Tell me if this is going to hurt you, after this you will be lucky if you have a voice or if you will be able to walk for a while or ever" his evil laugh echoing through the room

Trying to blink back the tears that were forming trying to squeeze her legs shut the intrusion she knew that would be coming the pain already radiating through her body

Hearing his voice in her ear "open your legs or you will get much worse"

Her eyes defiant "what could be more worse than what you've already done"

Feeling a hit across her face shaking her head hissing at her "you fucking bitch you really want to find out"

Looking at Sergeant Dixon spitting out "you were in on this all along, you really think my people won't find me find out who you are"

Her eyes watching his every moment as he walks over to her his face close to hers squeezing it hard in his hands "oh Olivia you really think that someone is going to come and save you, I'm running this investigation into your disappearance they have no idea where you are, and by the time they find you it will be too late"

Her eyes glaring at him "you really think you're so smart and you will get away with it, you have never dealt with NYPD police before, you will find out what they are like"

His eyes moving to David holding up a key to her, seeing her eyes opening wide trying to remain in control hissing "you my dear will find out what I'm like"

She didn't know what was worse but her body couldn't take the heat the pain "no please don't please" her voice pleading

"Not so tough now are you Sergeant Benson" Dickinson teased her as he moved his face close to her.

Holding the key in the tongs lowering it towards her "this Olivia is my symbol and mark that you will never forget me, or how it came here, You think what you went through with William Lewis is bad that is nothing compared to this to us"

Feeling the key upon her sensitive parts, the hissing of the hot metal against her bare skin biting her lips trying not to show the pain that she was feeling before being consumed by a searing burning heat radiating throughout her body, unable to contain herself the screams coming out of her mouth this was worse than the other three burns on her already sore and damaged body.

The water running from her eyes from the pain that just happened she didn't know what was worse the violent assaults that had occurred or that both would stay with her a long time, one permanent the other more emotional

The hissing in her ear "open your legs this time Olivia" his hand moving down to the fresh burn pressing his finger upon it the pain making her legs open "this is going to be all the more fun now tell me if it hurts more than what just happened"

Feeling him at her entrance as one hard painful thrust he was inside of her with each thrust the burn being aggravated more the pain radiating through out her closing her eyes grimacing with pain

"Open your eyes I want to see the pain in your eyes"

Opening her eyes moving up to the ceiling trying to forget the assault on her body his length was bigger and longer with each thrust she could feel herself being torn open just when she thought it couldn't get any worse feeling someone behind her, the hardened length against her thigh

"no, no don't not this" her voice begging between sobs " please stop, don't"

His hands on her waist she feels him against her entrance with one final thrust she could feel him inside her, already tightened by the assault in front of her. The grip on her head and hair pulling it back behind her, his grip on her waist tightening with each violent brutal thrust his fingers digging into her flesh.

She was sandwiched between them as the assault from both sides continued, biting her lips trying not to scream from the pain that was occurring inside her body but with each deep thrust the pain was overcoming her, she didn't want to scream or yell knowing it was what they wanted but as the minutes ticked by the pain was becoming worse with each thrust that it was tearing through her body and the screams were coming out.

Her face was blank trying to block it out, she just hoped that whatever was coming to them it was as painful as what was happening to her now. Would she ever be able to escape from this her mind going back to happier times

Just when she thought it was over feeling each of them withdrawing a final grunt releasing into her

before moving away it hurt to move, her thighs were bruised, it hurt to move her body at all.

Watching as Sergeant Dixon walks in front of her hissing in her face "you didn't think it was over yet Sergeant the fun and party is just starting"

She was starting to break her eyes hollow, she had no idea how much more of this she could take

"please don't, I can't, please stop it, I can't take anymore it hurts, its sore I can't" her voice pleading through the sobs all she was feeling was pain, it was her friend she was feeling nothing else.

"its only going to get worse Olivia the pain, pain is nothing it makes you stronger"

Her mind was numb she couldn't register what had just happened, how it all happened she was fractured wondering if she would be able to be repaired.

Staring into the eyes nothing there she had never seen such evilness coming out of someone, feeling each of them inside of her again the pain was consuming her whole body, the lack of sleep, water and food her starting to fall to the side as she passed out.

Hearing the gruff voice "this should wake her up" the laughter between them, "she will never forget her time here"

Her eyes opening quickly the pain on her back she wished she was still passed out her eyes hollow scanning the room the hissing against her back, the searing heat another mark another permanent reminder of this hell she was living with no form of escape. It was pressed hard against her back grimacing in pain, trying to move away from the pain as the heat went through her body before she passed out again.

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They had finally arrived in Alice springs quickly hurrying to the precinct walking up to the nearest officer he could find "Captain Donald Cragen from NYPD, who's in charge here"

The relief he felt when he heard his captains voice "Capt"

"any news yet Nick" the worry was evident in his captains voice

Shaking his head sadly "Nothing, tactical response is here and on its way down, they have aerial searches, but still nothing" the frustration in his voice

"How could you let this happen Amaro, you should have been looking after her, she's your partner" the accusation was evident in Brian's voice

"I'm Inspector Kerry Vincent from Tactical Response, we are doing all we can to find Sergeant Benson, you must be her captain"

Shaking her hand she had his respect straight away "Captain Donald Cragen, have you any leads yet?" he asked hopefully

"We have planes doing aerial searches for his car, my intel officer Leon, is checking in with all stations and properties within a 500 km radius, there are alerts, cars are being stopped and searched, we are doing all we can to find her" hearing her name being called out "sorry Captain but we will keep you updated, there is tea/coffee over there"

"Inspector. I'm officer Brian Cassidy from NYPD, Olivia, Sergeant Benson is my girlfriend, I want to go out and help, I can't just sit around and do nothing" his voice nearly pleading

"Brian, you're involved with the victim, we can't have you going out there, I'm sorry" and with that she had left

"victim" the words sounded foreign to him, he wouldn't call Olivia a victim but here she was a victim taken hostage his voice louder walking over to her "I understand Inspector but I need to do something, I can't just stand here doing nothing"

She felt sorry for the guy he kind of reminded her of Lawson her annoying Sergeant "I understand Brian, but we have rules here, and it could jeopardise the investigation" seeing the sad look on his face softening "Look, my intel officer Leon, will need some help"

walking over to his desk "Leon, is contacting all the homesteads and stations warning them, help him go through the list, that is all I can do" and with that she had left him with the intel officer.

"Kerry" Leon called out to his boss "There has been no hits on her credit card, there has been two transactions on David Winters one the day she was taken the other the following day, one for $113.56 at Mobil Service Station at Stuart, the other Bunnings on Stuart Highway, I'm logging into Mobil Service Station now and nothing on the car she was last seen in, he could of swapped number plates and no record of any stolen cars or 4WD in the past 4 days"

"Lawson, Stel head out to Bunnings, take a photo of David and Olivia, I want to know what he bought there" she told them, even if she knew it was a long shot, she needed to find something.

"Kerry" Leon called out "David, is in Alice Springs, he's at Todd Street Mall, his phone is turned on, I'm trying to log into the CCTV there now"

"Lawson, Stel head Todd Street Mall, Leon will give you more accurate information once you get there and kit up" Kerry warned them.

He knew here squad would arrive but seeing her boyfriend here and the concern and worry he Agent Porter felt bad would Brian or the squad find out that he was the last person to see Olivia alive and well, that he left her hotel room the Saturday morning that his DNA would be on the sheets, would he ever be able to face Olivia or Cassidy again.

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"See anything yet Leon" Kerry asked him again "how could he of gotten through the roadblocks, why aren't they searching every car"

"Laws how far away are you, Nick and Agent Porter are about a minute away?" she asked she didn't want to let him go,

"We are arriving now Kerry, do you want us to follow him to Olivia or arrest him?"

Kerry was quiet she had been asking herself the same question over and over, did she want to risk losing David by letting them follow him or arrest him and hoped he would tell them where she was and they weren't too late. Either way had risks or never finding Olivia

"What do you want them to do Kerry?" Leon asked her

Her hand pressing her forehead together as they run down her face "Bring him in Lawson"

"You sure Kerry"

No she wasn't sure, was she making the right decision "yes bring him in, I'm not risking losing him"

"He's still there Lawson, the phone signal is still showing up and GPS at the bar there Ochre Grill and Bar, I've had a look at the layout, looks like there looks like 2 entrances one from the mall, the other from Leichardt Terrace"

"Sent Nick and Dean to Leichardt Terrace, Stel and I will enter from the mall, let us know when they are in position, stand at the entrance just inside" Lawson ordered Leon

With their guns raised Stella and Lawson entered the bar their eyes scanning the room before looking at each other "I can't see him"

"Are you sure this is where the phone signal is from Leon?" Lawson asked him

"Of course I'm sure he should be standing in front of you"

"Lawson" Stella called out, holding up the phone "I've got the phone, he's not here" she said her eyes scanning the room as she holds up the phone with a text

" _Thought you got me, better luck next time, you're never going to catch me, here's a video for you of Olivia, she is so much fun"_

"Stel" Kerry's voice came loudly through her ear "Just bring the phone back here NOW"

She didn't want NYPD or Cassidy to see it, she didn't want to see it as she slams her fist loudly on the desk making Leon jump

"Kerry" he asked tentatively turning around in his seat

"Not now Leon, I'm fine" she replied shaking her head bringing her hand up to her forehead squeezing her eyes closed, she was frustrated what was he doing to Olivia was she even still alive.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Sorry for the delay in updating had a lot of issues whilst travelling and harder to update and write than I thought. Ive had to go and buy a new laptop I ended up with no internet at all and problems. Here it is finally.**_

 _ **So if you are still following and reading here is the next chapter.**_

 _ *****WARNING CONTAINS VOLIENCE AND RAPE*****_

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Her eyes opening quickly the pain between her legs worse throbbing she could feel what she presumed was blood dripping down her leg along with other bodily fluids.

Her eyes moving around the room, their hands roughly on her "you're finally with us again, welcome back"

"you're both going to hell" she spat at them

The knife shining in their hand she could see them playing with the blade "am I?'

She was fixated on the blade her eyes not moving wondering what sort of torture they were planning next, the blade moving against her neck, was this the end, the end of the pain did she even care any more, could she fight any longer feeling it pressed against her throat "No begging or pleading now?"

"do what you are going to do, it makes no difference what I say, you're going to do it anyway, you're going to kill me anyway" the resignation and sadness in her voice " _I don't care anymore I can't take it anymore" those words she wasn't going to say out loud_

"you disappoint me Olivia, giving up so easily ready to die where is the fighting spirit" his voice in her ear the blade moving from her throat down her arm feeling it being pressed into her skin biting her lips her eyes moving upwards in pain  
"you'll live it's shallow, might leave a small mark it might bleed for a little while"

Looking down at her arm the letters D W marked there, the bile reaching her mouth wanting to throw up as the blood runs down her arm struggling against her restraints another battle lost and permanent reminder of this horror she was living.

"I told you I owned you, now you will never forget this moment our time together will you Olivia" David told her as he admired the knife in his hand.

She could see the delight he was getting as he moved the knife down her body pressing it into her breasts as the blood dripped out of the small cut, she could feel the knife make its way down her body the pressure slight but enough for her to feel it

She could see the delight on his face, the delight in watching the fear in her eyes waiting for her to beg, to plead she didn't want to give him the satisfaction or to give in not yet

"Will you Olivia" he hated being ignored pushing it firmer into her ribs as he moved down, the stinging pain of her arm was a constant reminder of the pain what he was doing now was nothing compared to the pain she felt between her legs and her arm

"No" she whispered her eyes moving back to her arm the blood drying but the letters still there making her feel sick.

He moved the blade off her moving it down to her leg this time pushing it into her thigh, this time she screamed as loud as she could but she was weak she clenched her hands together digging her nails into her palm "please" she whispered

"Shh you'll live" as he pressed the blade into her again

She tried to scream but nothing came out she wanted to say stop but the pain was stopping her forming words, she was already sore down there, she could feel the blood trickle down her leg

Her eyes fixated as he twirls the blade around "Now where can I put it now"

"Please stop" her eyes looking up at him pleading begging him in a way she wanted the pain to stop forever but she wasn't going to ask him to kill her, plead for it she was just pleading for the pain to stop.

"stop but I'm only getting started, you deserve this and everything that is coming to you did you really think you would come here to arrest me"

He moved the blade to her entrance her eyes open wide in horror even after everything he had put her through why was she still surprised

He stopped the blade at her entrance "why would I stop Olivia you haven't made things easy on yourself have you, I've warned you all along would what happen, the burns all of this and you still wouldn't listen, will you now"

Her shoulders were heaving with the sobs she couldn't think or breathe words weren't forming in her mouth, all she could think about was the blade that was about to be thrusted inside of her

His mouth next to her ear nibbling the lobe whispering "I bet you wish this was me, that you had caught me that this knife was in your hand don't you"

She couldn't answer him, she couldn't breathe she was frozen struggling, she could feel it pushed right at her entrance the tip just inside of her hard so she could feel the pressure "don't you"

Nodding she stammered sobbing "yes I wish it was you"

The relief was short lived as she felt the blade moving away from her as he quickly turned it around thrusting thehandle inside of her moving it up and down

Closing her eyes grimacing in pain as he roughly thrusts it up and down "Open those brown eyes"

Opening them back up the sadistic smile on his face as he inflicted the torture on her his lips upon hers hard his tongue forcing her mouth open moving around inside

Her eyes drawn back to the knife as it is pulled out of her as he twirls it around "there are many uses for a knife which you have and will find out, for the time being the handle will do nicely making a cave out of your insides but again"

She felt the blade at her hips grimacing as it is pushed firmly and hard into her, she started to struggle to get away from the pain that was now overtaking all of her body

"Stop struggling" he yelled at her, she could feel the blade move down pressed firmly at her entrance "Or I will push this inside of you"

With that she stopped, she was crying quietly to herself wondering if she would ever escape looking for some hope, was this nightmare ever going to end would he stop torturing her

"No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she begged "please don't do this please"

"since you asked so nicely I won't put the blade inside you yet"

Her relief was short lived as she felt the handle roughly shoved inside of her and moved around.

Her eyes up to the ceiling she was starting to lose hope, and wondering if she was going to get out of here her eyes grimacing with pain.

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"Kerry" Leon's voice echoed through the room turning to face his boss then Cassidy "Brian there should be a folder with a map of all the stations and surrounds and roadhouses, can you find out where it is we need to mark off where the aerial search has been"

Watching as Cassidy walks away turning to Kerry his voice low "I've opened thevideo, I don't think you want everyone to see this though, it's pretty graphic. I'm transferring it to your lap top now, not sure if you want her Captain to see it….. it's brutual"

"The video from Winters phone" Kerry whispered did she even want to know

"yes and there was another one too, I'm sorry Kerry" Leon said looking up at her. The image before her was one Kerry wished she had never seen or would again the admiration though she felt for Olivia, reminded slightly of herself but would she given the same circumstances be as strong as she seemed to be. There was no fear in her eyes the one thing that would remain with her was the pain she could see the pain in her eyes and throughout her body

Kerry wondered if those images would ever go away, how much more was Olivia enduring, she felt like a failure she couldn't find her, she was starting to wonder if Olivia was alive how much more would she be able to endure

"Kerry this isn't your fault" Leon said gently to her, he could see the toll it was taking on her and even though she came across and strong and tough, he knew there was vulnerability underneath.

"I know it isn't Leon, but that doesn't make us find Olivia still does it, that bastard has her, doing what god knows what to her and we have no idea where she is, if she's still alive" Kerry screamed at him, before taking a deep breath

"Leon, get her captain to meet me in the office, I'll be there in a moment"

Leon watched Kerry walk out he knew she was blaming herself in some way "Kerry" he said hesitantly

"don't Leon, I'll ….. I wont be long" she stuttered out she needed a moment by herself. _He was thrusting in and out of her brutually please stop don't, please_ those words would haunt Kerry.

"I'm so sorry Olivia" Kerry cried out softly as the tears fell silently from her eyes, her head hanging down as she sat on the toilet seat. "I'm going to catch that sick bastard if it's the last thing I do" the determination back on her voice as she opened the cubicle door. She wasn't going to fall apart her team needed her, Olivia needed her and she would get him at the moment she had no idea how as she washed her hands her eyes moving up to the mirror wiping away the tears that were there "I'm not giving up Olivia I will get him"

"Kerry" Leon called out to her as she walked back into the room "can you clear the room, I want to work on this see if I can clear it up, find anything but also see if I can find the computer ID address, an area it could be coming from."

Nodding she knew what he meant "I'll send them all on the lunch break, will an hour do" her hands on the intels officer, he was the best she knew and had ever worked with "let me know if you want to see someone, counselling after all of this, you're doing great"

"Sorry Captain to keep you, after you see this you will understand why, I will warn you it is pretty brutal and graphic" her voice apologetic

He could feel his heart stop beating his stomach dropped as soon as the image appeared on the screen, all he could say in a whisper "she's alive, Olivia is still alive" his voice louder "that sonofabitch we are going to find him"

His eyes moving down would that image ever leave his mind, Kerry had stopped it before it showed what he was actually doing to her, her eyes were hollow how much longer would she be able to hold on, she was still alive that gave him hope

"We are going to find him Don, and bring Olivia back alive, Leon is working on it now, we still have the aerial search in place, contacting all the properties, finding out who has huts or anything on their place, we will find this sononabitch and Olivia" with that she was finished and out the door

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Feeling her hands untied "walk now Olivia walk over to the bed or the bathroom"

She couldn't walk and they knew it, taking one tentative stop forward the pain unbearable the throbbing between her legs, her thighs bruised and cut "I can't I can't walk" they did what they wanted and knew it each small step was excruciating, did she really say that, she didn't know how much more she could take. She tried again to take a step the pain radiating down below each movement caused pain to radiated through her body, she couldn't walk each tiny movement she could feel the blood dripping down her leg.

"I can't, it hurts to move"

She could see the delight in their eyes "maybe another pounding will help you walk better, give you motivation"

"no, no more, please I'll do it I'll walk" her voice soft and flat

"I knew you would see it our way now go and have a shower, unless you want to take another pounding"

The cold water running down her bruised and battered body she had done it slowly but she had walked over to the bathroom, each step causing her more pain, she had never felt pain like it between her legs before .

The tears falling down her face as the last remaining blood tinged water dripping from between her legs, she had no idea how long she was there. The water running away the evidence of Sergeant Dixon rapping her, her hands gingerly touching her cheek it was sore from where it was hit multiple times,.

Her body falling down the walls of the shower, holding her legs against her chest the water was no longer hot, the cold water reminded her of the numbness she was feeling.

Her chest heaving with the sobs, her ribs sore, the blood now stopped from each mark he had made on her. Her eyes falling to her arm and thigh she felt sick each time she saw it.

Rocking back and forth her tears dry her eyes moving up to the ceiling "please god, someone help me, help me get out of here" her voice barely a whisper, would she ever be able to come back from this, would she ever be able to be intimate with Brian again

Her eyes scanning the bathroom nothing there to be used the mirror broken unable to see the damage, did she want to see what they had done to her the burns visible to her, her face what was her face like for the time being they had left that unscarred but for how long.

Her eyes moving back down to her thigh the red irritation of the burn there the initials DW standing out, the permanent reminder of the hell she was put through if she ever got out of here. The blood was caked onto her thighs dried from all the brutal assaults

She was safe for the time being, until they got sick of raping and sodomising her how much more could her body take, she could feel her thighs and insides bruised and torn.

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"Amaro, Fin" Porter calling out to them following him as he hurries to the car

"are you going to tell us what is going on here" Amaro's voice questioning

"There was something off, there was someone in the bar Friday night, I didn't pay much attention but I think it could have been Sergeant Dixon and his colleagues, each time I see the image of the guy she was having drinks with, there is something familiar about the way he walked, how he knew about the CCTV footage, that he knew he was being watched or someone would find out. Three of the people working in the bar that night is back on and Holly who was on reception is back after a few days off"

"something a police officer would know, him being in charge of the investigation we would never of found her, why don't you tell Inspector Vincent what you have found" Amaro replied his voice questioning slight confusion

Driving away from the precinct "until I know for sure, we don't know if he is working alone or if anyone is working with him, and we can't just accuse someone without some form of evidence not just a hunch. I just hope I am wrong and that if I am right he is working alone"

"I hope the guy rots in hell once we find him, let's just kill the guy" Fin's voice serious, seeing them turn to look at him "we all are thinking it"

"we might all be thinking it, but we need to do all of this by the book, any deviation or wrong move here, and these guys could get off" Porter replies

"let's just find Liv first" Amaro replies his thoughts trailing away not wanting to think what was happening to his partner

"what if he is warned by the staff at the hotel, they had to know why didn't they say anything sooner" Amaro's voice questioning

"we will find out, and I will arrest and take in any person who tampers or interferes with this case"

"how can anyone do this to Liv again and a Sergeant, I would love to cut his balls off"

"that makes two of us Fin" Amaro replies his thoughts going back to his partner

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"find anything yet Leon"

"Can you stop creeping up on people Kerry, you always do it"

Rolling her eyes at him "I don't sneak up on you, your usually doing something you're not meant to, looking up ex girlfriends phone numbers, porn the list does continue or doing something you shouldn't or building your stupid cheezal towers" her voice firmer "we need something Leon, we are running out of time here" he could hear the frustration in her voice

"I'm trying Kerry, I am" turning up the volume slightly "I think I have found something, there is another voice in the room, he has just entered it and it is unclear, I am putting filters through it to try to see if it comes through clearer and the pictures are clearer. The IP address all I get is a radius"

Her hands on his shoulder "Great work Leon"

Turning to look up at her "you're mellowing Kerry as you get older its scary not sure I like it or can get used to this praise, Lawson never says thank you"

Moving away from him "give me the radius and co ordinates and we'll see what properties are within that area" her eyes scanning the area as everyone walks back "Where the fuck is Sergeant Dixon, where is Josh, is he close to Alice springs yet, I need him to turn around or get to the roadhouses closest to those co ordinates, also get Dom to go to any outstations/communities near there too, I'm going to find this sonofabitch" her voice calling out "What are you all doing back here, get out of here NOW"

A smile on Leon's face this was the Kerry he was used to the one who took command, yelled at anyone who got in her way "I take back what I said Kerry, you're not mellowing"

"shut up Leon" a smile on her face as she walked away "keep me updated and hurry"

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She had no idea how long she had been in the shower, the water was now freezing cold she didn't care in a way it was soothing over her burnt and battered body. Sitting on the floor her hands on her knees rocking back and forth her shoulders heaving with her cries her tears dried from dehydration, her mind going back to a few months ago

" _welcome home Detective Benson" the look of fear and horror on her face she thought Lewis was bad, but he was nothing compared to this, but given a chance he would of raped me_

" _you're not getting out of here alive"_

" _Now you say it"_

" _I want to live I'll do anything, I'll do anything"_

" _yes you will"_

 _The knocking on the beachouse "help"_

" _I think you're afraid of me, I do, we have been here for four days, all talk not a lot of action"_

" _I'm just getting started"_

 _She had thrashed about and managed to free himself_

" _Take care of yourself and Me"_

" _Liv, you're safe no one is going to hurt you, come here babe it's going to be ok"_

" _Liv, my lease is coming up, yours is coming up what do you say we move in together babe, see how it goes. What we have is more than a casual hook up now, I want to be with you, I can't imagine my life without you Liv, do you want to give it a try?"_

 _Rolling over in bed seeing Dean next to her, her head pounding what on earth happened, one look at him and realising she had no clothes was all she needed "get out Dean, just get out"_

"I'm so sorry Brian" whispering to herself.

 _Look at yourself Olivia what are you meant to be a policewoman the voice scoffed at her, how do you expect to look after all those young children/victims when you can't even look after yourself. You sleep with your ex you cheat on your boyfriend. You travel all this way to arrest someone to end up being held hostage, kidnapped and raped for days on end, you really think you can save yourself again. Look at you a blubbering mess on the floor begging for it to stop, you even enjoyed it. What type of police woman are you letting this happen_

Her hands held against her ears "stop, stop why mum why, you weren't there when I was growing up, you never looked after me then"

 _Be strong Olivia you will get out of this, I know you, you will fight to the end you are a survivor and will continue to be so, you recovered from Lewis you will recover from this, be strong you will get through this, Sealview, Lewis you are a fighter don't give up not yet they will find you, your team"_

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"Brian, go to the hotel, get some sleep, we will let you know if we find Olivia or anything that happens"

Shaking his head "I'm fine Kerry and Captain, I'm staying you have all been up too, I'm not going anywhere until she is found, any more news" his voice hopeful but tired

Her eyes watching him "I hope I'm not going to regret saying this but, ok, go into the break room, have a break for an hour" shaking her head she couldn't tell him what they found what they saw would it send him over the edge.

There was something about the voice he heard in the video something familiar about it, he was sure he had heard the voice before, he just couldn't pin point the exact time, the accent was it American, he didn't want to imagine it was one of her team "Kerry, I've cleared up the voice now it is more audible, the IP address I've narrowed it down slightly, I have to be wrong cause the voice sounds like Sergeant Dixon" he said in disbelief


	11. Chapter 11

_**Sorry for taking so long for updating. Forgot also where I was up to. Thank you for all the followers will try to update quicker I know I keep saying that.**_

 _ **Here it is,**_

 _ *********CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND RAPE****************_

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"That's why he didn't want the aboriginal trackers and he left in such a hurry, Sergeant Dixon was in on it the whole time" Amaro exploded

"we don't have the proof we need, his face was hidden from the camera at all times" Agent Porter replied trying to reason with him, trying to get him to calm down.

"they ID'd him" Amaro explains keeping the frustration out of his voice

"I know Amaro it would help but all they said was he was having drinks with Olivia he and Constable Williams, we need to speak to Williams but we need to be careful"

"You think this Williams guy is in on it too?" Amaro's voice questioning

"I don't know, he might have no idea, or he owes Dickinson a favour, his whole squad could be corrupt and in on it, until we know for sure we have to tread carefully" Porter warned them

Walking back into the headquarters, Agent Porter needed to speak to Inspector Vincent he was sure she wasn't in on it and trusting his instinct "Inspector"

Listening to the audio the voice was familiar she had heard it before she wanted to make sure "play it again Leon" turning around as she hears her name raising her eyes at the FBI agent

"that voice, it does, that sounds like Sergeant Dixon"

A smile on her face turning around facing Agent Porter and Detective Amaro "everyone meeting room now" her voice commanding

"It is Sergeant Dixon, we have some evidence which could help, it won't prove he is involved, we have just come back from the apartments and bar" handing Kerry the folder

"You want me to let everyone know Kerry?" Leon asks

Raising her eyes at him "Just get all TR and NYPD into the meeting room, Leon no one else is to know about this" her face close to her, her voice with warning in it

Nodding at her it was times like this, the look on her face that she scared him slightly, putting his ear piece back in leaning back in his chair

No wonder Leon knew it was familiar, flipping through the pages he gave him turning looking up at Agent Porter "you're right, that was what we needed,"

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Putting his head in his hands it had been over 4 days now since she had gone missing, 4 whole days with that monster what was he doing to her, was she even still alive

His eyes moving up slowly watching Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake entering the room "anything, any leads or news?" his voice was nearly pleading

Grabbing a plate with food on it as the rest of his group sits down "my team coming down from Darwin are nearly here, we might get more when they arrive, they have stopped at the roadhouses and aboriginal communities, there are road blocks we are doing everything we can, Inspector Vincent, is one of the best around"

"this guy, he has to have done this before around here, he murdered two girls in New York, raped one and left her to die, he has to have a record here, some safe place out here, yet no one can find anything" his frustration and anger spilling over.

"There was another incident years ago, Peter Falconio his body was never found and they knew where he was supposedly taken or the area and nothing" shrugging her shoulders as she shoved her dinner into her mouth

"Stella" Lawson's voice snapping at her "totally different situation, ignore her Brian we are getting closer and Leon as annoying as he is, is a great intel officer"

His hope was fading his eyes down looking at the meal in front of him, he shoved the plate away he couldn't eat "I've never even told her I love her" mumbling to himself.

The door banging open quickly "Lawson, Stel, Michael meeting room now" the door closing quickly behind

Lawson turning to Cassidy "that was part of the rest of the TR team, that has driven down from Darwin" with that he got out of the seat leaving Brian there in the room pushing his plate away something was happening

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It took all of her energy to stand up and turn the water off, she had no idea how long she had been in the shower for, it was a relief from the pain and torture they had put her through knowing more was to come. The throbbing between her legs a constant reminder of the horror she was enduring.

She fell against the tiles her body exhausted, dehydrated and broken her energy being drained from her, she didn't have much more fight or anything left in her

The door opened loudly her eyes moving up watching as he walked in, her eyes scanning the bathroom rapidly backing away from him, she felt the wall behind her, hoping it would offer her some protection something to get away from him a way of escaping "you thought it was over, you thought you would stay here all day"

Her body started to shake uncontrollably as it slid down the wall onto the floor, her hands trembling, moving her eyes up to him the fear in them before moving back down to the ground there was no way out, she didn't even feel her bladder releasing itself she couldn't move her heart rapidly beating.

Lifting her up by her hair roughly "well you thought wrong, we haven't finished with you yet"

She couldn't move the pain still there her eyes looking at him defiance in them "you're nothing, a no body, no one would ever miss you, nobody would care if anything happened to you, you're a worthless piece of shit"

She should of seen it coming the hard kick in her ribs moving her across the floor "worthless or not I have the power over you, the one who is able to do anything to you, hurt you, fuck you mercilessly "

Her eyes defiantly moving up to his "you think you're so strong, you have no power you're nothing, the only way you can get someone to have sex to you is to rape them, looking at it, it's no wonder it is so tiny anyway no wonder woman don't give you the time of day, you wouldn't get much action any other way"

In one swift movement he had her arm pinned behind her back, strain on her already sore shoulder, grimacing from his rough touch, his hand was hurting her as he forceably put her arm behind her back "not so tough now are you sergeant, tiny or not it makes you scream and beg" his voice menacing in her ear.

She could feel two fingers inside of her as he pushes another two inside "you on the other hand you openings are no longer small and I will make you scream" before shoving his fingers further inside of her moving around roughly

"Now's not the time to be lazy Olivia or you to be greedy David" the sneering voice of Dickinson "You can't have all the fun"

She felt him pushing her back down onto the ground, a hard kick in the ribs doubling her over, slowly climbing onto her knees as she felt them grab her hair slamming her back onto the concrete floor hitting her head on the floor, gasping for breath through her fracture ribs.

Roughly grabbing her hair pulling her head back up, she wasn't going to give in or beg, her head throbbing feeling the blood trickle down her face as she felt a swift quick in the ribs moving her across the floor.

"No plush bed or comforts this time" David snarled at her "since I hadn't finished what I started"

She tried to scramble up off the floor, pain flowing through her body as a hard back hand sent her flying back onto the floor, this time he pinned her there with his body on top of hers "Going somewhere sweetheart, not without me your not" he growled at her

"no please don't" she begged and cried hysterical as she struggled underneath his weight

Her body heaving with the sobs, all she felt was pain, pain was covering her whole body, the pain worse inside of her.

She was nauseated at his touch as his hands on her flesh moved down to her clit, his thumb rubbing it softly and slowly "oh so beautiful"

She felt his mouth sucking, licking her nipples, flicking them whilst his hand softly massaged them, no not again she willed her body not to respond to it, not this time. His motions firmer but gentle as he massaged her clit.

"Stop, please stop" she cried out feeling her body betraying her again feeling his lips sucking her nipples as his fingers moved firmer and faster on her clit

She tried again to will her body to stop the sensation as she felt herself start to climax, her back arching she wanted to die she felt ashamed again that with his touch she was still able to climax

"that's it come Oliva come, you know you want to" he called out

She felt it rip through her body, her hands searching for something to grip "oh fuck, god please"

"I can fuck you Olivia, you are going to learn that with an orgasm comes pain" as he shoved two fingers inside of her twisting them around painfully

"Get off me" she cried out as she felt his another finger going inside of her moving around roughly, she felt Sergeant Dickson roll her onto her side roughly "no please No" she begged and cried as she felt his fingers inside her other entrance each one roughly moving about twisting about painfully.

She silently cried to herself as she struggled with their touch "I think I need to tie you down for the next part, as it will be pretty intense again" he grinned as he withdrew his fingers sucking each one "so delicious you taste so nice"

She felt Sergeant Dickinson's fingers move out of her, and with one painful thrust his hardened length was inside of her

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Her eyes scanning the room she wanted the NYPD and her team only "Stel, close the door and lock it" her voice commanding

"bit drastic Kerry" the senior constable retorted

Rolling her eyes at her shaking her head "This information is classified and does not go any further than this room."

Listening to Inspector Vincent, Don Cragen's mind wandered how could a Sergeant be involved in this, how could anyone do this to Sergeant Benson, the team he was working with was efficient and now he had hope, he had the guilt that he sent Olivia over here, that somehow he could of protected her that as her captain he had failed her again. Despite knowing it wasn't his fault he was the one who sent her over here to the other side of the world. He trusted that they would look after her.

With each hour that had passed he was losing hope that Olivia would be found alive, unlike Lewis this time

Kerry's voice finishing "for reason's obvious all liasing and information comes back to me, as we don't know if he is working by himself or if anyone else is involved this is not to be discussed, we will be using channel 25 on the radios or mobile phones"

Her eyes moving to the NYPD squad "I want you all suited up for this, if you don't have a vest or gun, speak to Sergeant Joshua"

Her eyes scanning the room seeing Brian Cassidy head still in his hands "I don't need to tell you but be careful, listen, keep you coms on at all times and talk to each other"

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She had no strength to fight as he dragged her out of the bathroom her arm still pinned behind her back, snaking his arm around her waist

"Leaving us so soon Johnathan"

"I've had some fun" moving over to her squeezing her face hard 'for the time being but I will be back for more" the relief she felt was slight as she watched the door close behind him would anyone find him, would anyone know where to look, but why would a police Sergeant be doing this.

"looks like it just you and me for the moment" his hand moving down her leg and arm leaning down towards her "I'm sure we will still have fun together" his mouth trailing down her arm she felt sick at each touch she felt shuddering at his mouth a cry escaping her lip.

Her eyes moving up to him disdain and hatred in them "when they find you, you're going to hell, you're going to rot in jail"

Pulling her up by her hair "Really, what makes you think they are going to find me, you're not getting out of this alive" his mouth forcibly on hers

Turning her mouth away from his feeling his hand squeezing her face hard before hitting her across it with the back of her hand the stinging sensation paling to the pain elsewhere as his hand forceably moving her head back to face him "you really don't learn do you Olivia, there is the easy and hard way, why do you always go for the hard way"

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"Kerry" Leon motioned her over "the clearance came through, I have gone through his bank records and credit card statement for the past month, he's filled up with petrol at Ti Tree Road house and stayed there a couple of times over the past two months, I have tried to log into their cameras but can't go back that far, other than that nothing else on here, the odd withdrawl on his savings account"

"Send Josh and Michael up to Ti Tree Roadhouse with photos of him, David and Olivia and get them a warrant to access the security cameras whilst there. Tell them it the warrant is needed now and send it through to their mobile or computer" she ordered him as she ran her hands through her hair "Olivia" she mumbled as her eyes fell on her boyfriend.

The revolt she felt as she watched him walk back into the station "you've been a while Sergeant" her voice casual

"chasing up leads Inspector but nothing any new leads about Sergeant Benson?"

Her eyes not moving from his face maintaining his gaze, not for the first time she wondered how someone in his position could do what he did

Motioning for him to follow her to her desk "it looks like we have been searching in the wrong area, that he has taken her west on the Tanami track, there has been a few sighting further north of the car, my team is heading up there now, we might base ourselves at one of the stations or roadhouses there for ease"

She was watching each move he made, each movement his eyes made she knew she was right and he was involved "we should be out of here by tomorrow morning, night at the latest" she wasn't going to give anything away

Hearing Leon's voice coming through her ear peace "Kerry, the cars are ready"

"If you will excuse me Sergeant, we have a bit to do before we set off tomorrow" and with that she watched as he moved away

"It's all set Leon?" her voice anxious

"Quit worrying Kerry, the phone has been tapped, we will hear every call he makes or comes through to his phone, it will track when he makes a phone, once I get a number of who calls him or who he calls I can triangulate the call and try to get a fixed position, the tracking device is on his car and every police car here" looking up at his boss Leon smiles "we will find her and he thinks we have no idea where she really is"

"shit Leon, we don't" her eyes moving down to his desk "shit Leon what is this mess" her hands flinging the papers onto the floor "where are the plans of the various properties I want to be prepared nothing can go wrong" walking away mumbling to herself _nothing_ _this is going to work,_ she didn't want to admit that if it failed she had failed as a leader, she had let a police officer down, one whom she had found out had been through so much already and come through she didn't want to be the one who failed her, who let the system fail her

Moving away from Leon into her com "Lawson, I want all TR cars filled, with jerry cans, the undercover car full and one spare car full ready to go now"

Walking into the relief communication room set up his shoulders slightly down, it was coming up to close to 5 days since she went missing, four whole days or not knowing much, the one image he did see was more disturbing than not knowing

Feeling Kerry's hand on his shoulder "we are getting somewhere now Don, he will ring him soon and we will be able to find his position, get your team on standby one can go in each car, Senior Sergeant Blake will be coordinating it out there, you are in great hands out there he is one of the best around, just don't tell him I ever said that" a smile on her face

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She was thrown roughly on the bed her face into the quilt, her just when she thought the assaults were over did she really think with Sergeant Dixon leaving that it was over. She struggled to get up, to try to make an escape before he tied her again, feeling the back of his hand slapping her across the face sending her flying back down towards the bed

"Going somewhere sweetheart" feeling him on top of her, straddling her his body pinning her down "not without me your not"

Her arms pulled up towards the bed roughly his hands pinning them down before tying them to the bed, his other hand moving roughly over her body, she felt his hands at her entrance grimacing as he roughly shoved two of them inside of her. Her eyes moving up to the ceiling as she felt him put another finger inside twisting them painfully "Stop please stop" she screamed with his fingers still inside of her

Her eyes moved down to him with revolt watching as he sucked his fingers one by one before he started undoing his buckle on his pants whilst she struggled and bucked underneath him trying to push him off her

She felt him at her opening again, his hands on her thighs prying them apart, trying to keep them clenched together feeling his hand pressing into the burn was enough to move her legs open, feeling his weight come off her legs, moving them from underneath him drawing them up to her chest, he didn't see it coming as she kicked him hard in the chest as he fell backwards off the floor onto the floor.

Thrashing her arms trying to get free the restraints only tied with one final pull she was free pulling herself off the bed onto the floor trying to forget the pain between her legs the front door only a few metres away she could do it she had to escape to get out of this hell hole.

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 _ **Will she escape, will she finally get out of there,**_


	12. Chapter 12

_************* Sorry this is another dark chapter that contains violence and rape*****************_

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"Inspector" closing her eyes briefly she wanted to throw the Sergeant in the darkest cell, she wanted to shoot him, do something to him, she wanted him to tell her where Olivia was instead she turned around plastering a fake smile on her face "yes Sergeant"

"one of my constables found these" her eyes moving down to his hands, he knew with him handling it now his fingerprints would be over it

Her tongue moving around her lips "Where, why wasn't my team called"

His eyes were focused on hers not moving "it was one of my newest members, I have reprimanded him for bringing the evidence in and not calling, you were right, it was found on the Tanami track at a rest area"

"I'll get the lab to run for fingerprints and DNA now, tell your team to follow the procedures or I will come down on all of you" her voice firm

Watching him walk out shaking her head "piece of shit" hitting the desk forcibly

Seeing Leon moving look at the top "she wasn't even wearing this when she was kidnapped, look at it Kerry it looks like it was taken and just rolled in dirt, if you look at the footage her top was different this won't even have anyones DNA on it except the Sergeant, constable and Olivia's"

turning to Amber "bag this and send it off to forensics and put a rush on it" her voice flat

Sitting at her desk her hands running down her face her elbows on her desk shaking her head, she was in charge here and was still no closer in knowing where Olivia was hearing Leon's voice "And Dean Porter's,"

"Dean Porter, the FBI agent?" confusion in her voice and raising her eyes to meet Leon's

Seeing him nod his head exciting his voice low "The night before she went missing she went out for drinks with Dean and some others"

Nodding "yeah we know that and her drink could have been spiked that night too"

"Kerry, Dean took Olivia up to the hotel room and spent the night with her"

Raising her eyes at Leon surprise in her voice "your kidding" her eyes moving to Brian Cassidy watching him with his team mates and Porter "are you sure, she has a boyfriend" even though she didn't know Olivia from what she heard she didn't sound like someone who would cheat on her boyfriend

Nodding his head solemnly "Amaro knows and of course Agent Porter, if they want to frame someone else, or have the truth come out then I think Agent Porter's DNA will be on that shirt, his DNA was on the sheets, they found semen there"

"I am only finding this out now" Leon moving away from her as she exploded

Backing his chair away from his boss, knowing the distance was safer when she was angry "it only just came back from the lab and Lawson spoke to Agent Porter not that long ago" seeing the look he only knew too well ", that dickhead, he is so far up his own arse"

A smile on Leon's face "in his defense he was coming to speak to you and being a guy Dean probably opened up more to him than you, no offence Kerry but"

Seeing the look of anger on her face shaking his head "nothing" mumbling turning back to the screen

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Hobbling to the front door as fast as she could turning the knob of the door "please please open" whispering to herself

Trying to pull the door open, her heart beating frantic her eyes scanning the hut

"you stupid bitch" she wasn't going to turn around she was going to get out of here the door opening on her feeling the fresh air against her face

"you really think you can get away" his arm snaking around her waist pulling her inside

"No" Olivia called out trying to kick out get out of his grasp.

"god please, help me" her voice barely a whisper as the door slammed behind her.

"I don't think even he is able to help you this time" his voice menacing "that was the dumbest and stupidest thing you could of done"

She was shaking and trembling she came so close the fear she now felt so real shown in her eyes

She could feel his hand moving up to her throat squeezing it "you are going to pay for that" she could see the fury in his eyes as he put his hand on her throat lifting her off the ground, her legs kicking trying to hit, scratch him something as he flung her effortlessly across the room "you fucking bitch"

Her head & wrist hitting the ground pain exploding across her forehead and down her arm, struggling to get up to sit feeling his hand across her head slapping her sending her flying onto the floor again "Don't ever get me upset or angry" the fury in his voice

Her hand moving up to her forehead feeling the blood dripping down her face "I'm sorry, please I'm sorry" she sobbed feeling him kicking her in the ribs and knee

His hand reaching down pulling her up by the hair "oh you will be" throwing her onto the bed her feet tightly tied/cuffed to the bed before straddling her, grabbing her hands roughly pulling them up to the top of the bed cuffing them

He could feel her body struggling bucking underneath him putting the gun to the back of her head "fucking Stop struggling or I'll do you cold"

With that all fight went from her, the cold gun she could feel pressed against her neck feeling it move down and around her his lips moving to her ears the tears falling from her face silently crying, freedom so close.

His hands roughly squeezing her hips he was going to make her pay his mouth close to her lips "you thought you were out of her, that it was over that you had escaped after this, you will wish you have, I won't be so gentle this time"

With that in one thrust he was inside her again with punishing thrusts with brute force again and again he had no intention this time of give up anytime soon

She bit her lip wondering how she was going to endure this attack, this one worse than the rest, squeezing her eyes shut whilst he pinned her down by the neck, unable to stand much more "please" she screamed out

"tiny or not I can still give you another pounding, I can make you scream, cry hurt down there, the throbbing between your legs is done by me" his hand roughly grabbing her waist his fingers digging into her flesh, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of screaming, she doubted if she could scream she was emotionally and physically drained but with each punishing brutal thrust the scream came out.

She could feel her head being pulled back roughly by her hair as his rhythm got stronger and faster "who needs the emotional instability of girlfriends, they tie you down, want to get married, sex when they want to, who needs all of that when I have you to fuck whenever I want, hearing you scream beg for mercy, I have all the action I want from you" her eyes closed again grimacing with pain as she felt a thrust more violent than most

This assault was the worse she had no strength left to fight him in her weakened state, she hurt all over, her head, ribs but worse of all was the throbbing and intense pain between her legs, she tried to scream but all that came out was a whisper another battle lost this one worse than the rest, the pain of the assault and head injury becoming too much as everything went to black

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She regained consciousness to see night had set in again, it took her a while to focus with the pain in her head throbbing constantly, her whole body ached all over couple with the headache and nausea she guessed she had concussion.

She struggled against the restraints but it was useless they were tied tightly on her, she felt his hand on her moving gently over her breasts and on her clit squirming trying to get away from his touch

She felt tears welled up in her eyes "please don't" she begged, she ached terribly between her legs the pain a constant throbbing

"go on Olivia you know you want it" smiling at her increasing the pressure between her legs and sucking on her nipple, she could feel her body start to respond again the fear overcoming of what was going to happen afterwards

"that's right come for me, you know you want to" his lips sucking her nipples, she struggled against the restraints fighting him her body knew what was going to happen once she climaxed

She could feel her body fighting against it she wanted to die once it hit her body bucking

"no, please don't" she cried her body tensing waiting for the assault

"you're getting a relief this time Olivia" plunging three fingers inside twisting them painfully taking them out sucking them hungrily

His eyes moved up to the door opening as he watched the group walk in, his hand trailing down Olivia's arm

"we're going to have a little fun here tonight" a smile on his face "you know Sergeant Dickinson, I think you also may know these five chaps too Josh, Daniel, Andrew, Scott and Jeremy from the Territory Police, I can't be greedy and have all the fun here, so tonight we are going to share" he grinned "since I can have you any time you want, I might just leave you six here, unless you want me to stay" he laughed "don't forget to tie her up when you've finished with her and lock the door behind you, do what you want to her, but nothing too the face I like seeing those big brown eyes of her look up at me pleading"

"please" she said in a weak voice "you don't need to do this think about what you're doing" she cried anything to try to get them to stop her whole body shaking with fear

Her whole body wracked with sobs wondering how someone in the police could do this to her watching as their clothes fall to the ground that it was going to happen, her screams and pain filled sobs echoing through the hut until she lost her voice.

Her eyes staring blankly up to the ceiling withdrawing into herself, wondering how people she worked with, had drinks with were part of the police force could do this be part of it. Her mind trying to wrap itself around it all the whole time one thing was registering pain her whole body was screaming in pain.

At some time throughout the assault she had lost consciousness blacked out her whole body wracked with pain unable to take any more

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Kerry was starting to wonder if Olivia was still alive, Sergeant Dixon was staying around Alice springs, was he after information or had David killed Olivia already were they too late. What she didn't realise was he had hired a car to take the guys out to Olivia as he didn't want a car traced back to him with them in it.

She had an idea which she had talked with Lawson and they both hoped it would work, as both teams gathered together.

"We're going to do a press conference, put David's name out there"

"Kerry that could get Olivia killed, if David thinks we are onto him" Brian cried out

"We don't think it will, we think as soon as Dickinson realises he will go to David he can't risk calling him, and David he doesn't think he will be caught, it might give us a clue to where he is, at the moment they are a step ahead of us" Lawson replied to the group

"If you think it will help Olivia go for it" Don said to them, he had to trust Kerry and from what he saw she was very efficient who took no nonsense.

It didn't take long to get the press there she wanted to wait until the conference to tell Sergeant Dickinson

"My name is Inspector Kerry Vincent leader of Tactical Response. Six days ago on 15th July Detective Olivia Benson was taken from Alice Springs by David Winters.

If you see David Winters, do not approach him, call the police if you know his location or have seen him. The hotline number is 139999. He could be armed and he is considered very dangerous. I repeat if you see him do not approach him but call the hotline on the screen."

As the press walked out she saw Sergeant Dickinson walk past them confusion on his face "What's happening Inspector" he said as casually as he could

"A press conference to see if anyone has a location for David, see what leads it can bring in" she said as casually as she could her eyes not moving from his face

"From what I've heard David Winters is a dangerous man wouldn't this put Olivia in more danger"

"Hopefully not but it's all we got at the moment, he could be anywhere with her, this might provide something, I need to get back, my team is heading up the tanamai"

Was it her imagination or was he started to sweat, she could only hope that he would take the bait and lead them to Olivia.

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"Inspector, I've just got a call there has been another lead from one of my team I was going out there if your team wants to come"

Her tongue moving around the inside of her mouth "Do you think it will lead to something?"

"I think it is probably a false lead but should be followed up"

Her eyes boring into him "just let us know if it turns into something and I will send my guys to meet you"

Waiting until he walked out turning to Leon "he didn't get a call did he?"

Shaking his head at her boss "no we would of heard and seen it, nothing has come in"

"You have the tracking device on his car working, yeah?"

"Yeah, he is heading north now and making a phone call"

Rubbing her hands down her face It had to work she was starting to lose hope, Olivia had been missing now for nearly 6 days with no trace where she could be.

"we might be able to get an exact location of where he is calling too" his eyes fixated on the screen "David Winters, I'm tracking where he is now"

She couldn't look at the screen her hand covering her mouth, hitting the desk "damn he knew how long to talk to him for, could you get anything Leon?" the desperation in her voice

"it narrows it down to the few properties around, I can get the aerial search to concentrate on them

"not yet, we don't want to scare him, if he is going there now just wait" taking deep breaths hoping that she was making the right decision and she hadn't lost her.

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Feeling a kick in her ribs her eyes opening slowly trying to focus, wanting to move her hand up to her head, the pain there feeling the blood dried on her face the worse was the throbbing between her legs

"Open your eyes sweetheart, time to wake up" feeling his hand coming down forceably on her wrist

Squeezing her eyes shut the pain of the violent brutal attack between her legs by David followed by the gang rape, her insides and thighs already sore and bruised and in pain made worse by what had just happened moving her eyes up to him her eyes pleading with him to stop

"those beautiful big brown eyes, had enough yet Olivia"

Ignoring his question moving her eyes away from him, looking around the room anywhere away from him her eyes hollow and distant losing hope of getting out of here, wondering if she would ever come back from this would it be better off him shooting her than going through anymore.

Her legs untied feeling the gun pushed into the back of her neck "you try anything this time I'll do you cold, one move Light's out"

" _He's young, I'll do him cold, one move light's out, you scream I'll do you cold"_

Her eyes moving up to David's "just do it" her voice flat she didn't know how much more she was able to withstand, able to take

The sadistic smile, could a smile be worse than Lewis until now she didn't think that was possible "that's the end game sweetheart, we still have a lot more to do together" a sickly sweet edge to his voice leaning down closer to her ear "we both know you won't be getting out of here alive, pity I have to kill you but then"

She felt the gun running down her back between her legs, her body frozen in fear, trembling as the gun stop between her legs "get on your hands and knees" he ordered her

"go to hell" spitting out at him

The gun was trained on her head "that's where you're going sweetheart if you don't do what you are told, now get on your knees" his voice demanding, forcing her on the bed on her hands and knees, the cuffs straining at her wrists, watching as he undid his fly her eyes moving up towards David "open your mouth"

She closed her mouth instinctly turning her head away from him "you really are not like the others, and I kind of like that but you really don't learn do you, there is an easy way and hard way" his voice menacing

She had no energy to watch him walk away her mind wondering what he was going to do to her, did she even care unable to distinguish one pain from the other, her body covered in cuts and pain from burns, the assault.

She felt his fingers grip her waist hard, pinching her skin grabbing her, she felt him near her already bruised thighs and entrance, and with one powerful thrust he was inside her ripping her apart again, her fists clenched with each thrust inside of her squeezing her eyes shut, biting her lips "Please stop, don't, please don't not anymore" her voice sobbing, pleading unable to take anymore she felt her inside torn from last night and bruised.

"you were given a choice Olivia and you lost, when are you going to learn that your choices have consequences, you just don't learn" hearing her scream at his final thrust.

Her eyes diverted when she saw him near her again, he made her sick looking at him she didn't want to see his cock hanging out of his pants the damage it had done to her shuddering at the thought of it in her again how much more would her body survive each assault draining the remaining energy out of her.

His hand roughly grabbing her hand turning her wrist over, twirling the knife in the other hand admiring the blade, looking up him her eyes wide fixated by the blade "Please don't, I can't, now more …"

Closing her eyes as the blade is pushed into her wrist "open those brown eyes" the words hissed at her.

Opening her eyes disgust revolt in them as she looks at him, loathing and hatred, with each new thing why was she surprised, looking down at her wrist even after everything he had put her through, the disbelief in her eyes seeing D M carved into her skin as the blood runs down onto the bed

Sobbing looking up him "I'll do anything, please stop" her voice begging

Watching as his penis comes out towards her mouth, unable to stop crying "open your mouth"

She kept her mouth closed closing her eyes struggling to turn her face away from him a sob forming in her throat

He squeezed her face tighter "we'll try again Olivia open your mouth or do I need to remind you of the alternative"

Instinctly she kept her mouth closed turning her head away her eyes moving away from his hardened length

"One more chance Olivia" he threatened

He leaned down pushing his thumb into the burn on her leg and vagina, he knew she would give in that he had control over her

Her shoulder heaving with sobs she was weak and he was strong, she couldn't endure another assault "ok, ok"

"one more time, now open your mouth or I will put you on your back this time so I can watch the pain go through those brown eyes" he threatened

She knew she had no choice that he was in control of her, wanting for her to submit and give in to him, she did she said she would do anything she wanted the pain to stop he knew she would do anything.

He put his hand behind her head bringing it forward stopping inches away, he wasn't going to force her, he wanted her to do it, to give in to him every other time it was him, her begging, pleading not this time this time she was going to give in to do it to relent.

Her eyes moving up to his in slight disbelief that this was happening even after everything she had endured his eyes meeting hers waiting to see what she was going to do, would she submit to him she knew she had no choice he had the power over her and was waiting to see what she was going to do

"What's it going to be Olivia" he growled at her the edges of his mouth in a grin.

She was distraught and shattered there was really nothing left, he had complete and utter control over her and always had.

She slowly opened her mouth she feltt his hands on the back of her head pushing her forward towards his length, she could feel it being pushed through the small opening of her mouth towards the back of her throat, she felt sick as it moved hard into her mouth back and forth, his hand pulling her hair as it moved.

He grabbed her hair tightly pushing down as he was fully inside of her mouth, gagging, coughing at the intrusion at the back of her throat, she felt sick as it moved hard into her mouth back and forth, his hand pulling her hair as it moved

He laughed as he pulled her hair as he moved back and forth "make sure this is good, and I come" he taunted

 _Her mind going back to Sealview how close had she come there, "get up you're coming with me"_

" _what for"_

" _looks like you're going to the hall"_

 _The hall is over in C block what are we doing down here, captain I'm sorry I freaked with the outbreak I apologise_

 _Now shut up and do as your told…. What everyone wants and you're going to give it to me"_

 _Get of me help help_

 _Scream no one can hear you, you must like it rough_

 _Please don't, please don't please don't help somebody help_

 _Shut up, let's get you more comfortable_

 _Guess whose arse is mine now_

 _Ok ok you win_

 _That's more like it come here, that's letting you know who's in charge_

 _Help me help me no no, help me, let go of me_

 _You bite me you're dead_

 _She could see it coming towards her no no_

She had come so close to be saved at the last minute was anyone going to come and save her now

All she could do was nod, as it went back and forth inside of her his hand pulling her hair tighter "Look at you now Sergeant" he taunted her, her eyes snapping open moving up to his, he found her grinning as he looked down at her

Sergeant that word at the moment it felt strange, foreign to her, someone who could save people, someone who would not get themselves into this situation, how could she as Sergeant Benson save someone when she couldn't even save herself. That word was foreign Sergeant did that even belong to her now. A Sergeant should be stronger, braver and should not have this happen to her.

"imagine if they could see you now, Sergeant" he taunted her eyes snapped open as she felt him yanking her head back meeting his eyes seeing him staring down at her grinning laughing

Sergeant shouldn't she be able to protect herself and others what use was she when she couldn't even look after herself she got herself into this situation she should have been smarter, prevented it done something how could she have let it happen twice.

Closing her eyes as the assault of her mouth continued, there was nothing she could do she wanted to get away from it all, forget it was happening be somewhere else but she couldn't escape him and wondered if she ever would

Her mind going back to the beach house anywhere but where she was now, " _he's still alive" "I don't know how" how many times did she hit him with the metal bar "I did what I had to do to subdue him"_

She was brought back to the presence feeling him release in her mouth, she could feel the cum in her mouth wanting to spit it out, wanting to rid herself of the feel of him inside of her of him invading another part of her body, instead his lips upon hers hard before the duct tape placed on her lips "now you have another reminder of me" kissing her hard again.

The taste of him was inside her mouth, inside of her she couldn't get away from it the smell of him, him mocking her she couldn't escape him and that moment had shown her he had all the control.

She could only hope this assault was ove he had finished with her again for the time being, each part of her body invaded the feel of him inside her mouth remaining with her long after it was over, his pulling her hair, the smell and taste of him, that would never go away

Her shoulders sagging in defeat she was losing this battle she was losing on so many levels her head down biting her lips, who was she that word Sergeant echoing through her head the word felt foreign to her, everything felt foreign to her here she was Sergeant of NYDP and she couldn't even stop herself from getting raped and assaulted over and over again.

She had lost the fight she had nothing left in her she had no idea how she would ever come back from this whether she ever would she was dehydrated, sore the only thing she did know was there would be more to come and pain was the only thing she knew for sure at the moment

"your holes are starting to look like caves, just a little bit of help" whispering in her ear

She could feel his fingers first inside of her twisting around in pain before his fist entered her stretching her more than before even in her weakened state the tears falling freely "please no more, I can't take anymore, please stop I've done everything I can't take it anymore"

His lips moving down her face, her arm "I have to go out for a while, Promise me you'll be good and I'll give you a reprieve but really Olivia you have no one to blame this on but yourself" his voice scolding her like a naughty child

Her eyes looking up at him nodding "yes"

"yes what"

"yes I promise I will be good" her voice flat

Stradling her his face leaning down closer to hers "not sure I really can trust you after today and you trying to escape, I might need a bit of insurance to make sure" moving off her his gun moving down her body

Her eyes were lifeless void of anything, his words not even registering the only thing registering on her body was pain, feeling him press the gun harder into her ribs flinching at the touch against her broken bones.

Hearing him cock his gun fear in her eyes, did she want the pain to end didn't she want to fight to the end "don't worry I'm not going to shoot you…. Yet"

Feeling the gun move to between her legs resting on her thigh, fear in her eyes her body shaking, trembling she wasn't going to beg and plead anymore it only served to delight him, to make him happy hearing her beg resignation set in that he would torture her no matter what she said

"no begging this time, pleading, please stop, I can't you disappoint me Olivia"

Her eyes moving down to her legs the permanent mark there the nauseous feeling coming over her seeing the scar resignation in her voice "it makes no difference you're going to do it anyway"

Feeling the gun pressed at her entrance "you Olivia I am going to break, the others were all so easy but you, still 5 days later and you still haven't broken, you have begged, pleaded but you're not broken you still have fight in you and I like that, maybe that is why I have kept you around for longer than the others, some of them begged straight away" she could feel the gun pressed harder at her entrance the other hand rubbing her clit "I admire you in a way not breaking but you are stupider than the others, trying to escape, kneeing me but you have fight and spirit and I like that, you have I enjoyed more than others, I wish it didn't have to end at some stage but all good things must come to an end eventually but lucky for you I haven't got sick of you yet"

She felt it shoved inside of her, tearing her inside apart grimacing in pain squeezing her eyes shut biting her lips her body shaking

"don't worry I'm not going to pull the trigger yet, but it all depends upon you if the trigger goes off" his hand trailing down her face "see I don't really trust you and this way If you struggle it might go off, not sure whether it would kill you but probably you would never be able to have kids, do you want kids Olivia, after this would you ever want to have sex again, will your relationship with your boyfriend survive, does he know that you cheated on him, what happens next is up to you"

A forceful kiss on the mouth he was out of the room leaving her in the pain and misery and fear trying to stop the trembling of her body.

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The smell of home made apple pie waffed through the house as David entered the house slamming the front door behind him.

'David is that you" his mother called out as he entered the kitchen wrapping her arms around her

"Who else would it be" he laughed at his mother pulling up a stool

David's eyes moved up to the TV his mother had on the volume quite low, seeing his face on TV, he quickly turned around wondering if his mother had seen it, exhaling his breath quickly as he realised she was putting the pie in the oven and her back was turned to the TV. He could only hope that it would be over quickly.

"You make the best apple pie mum" he said trying to distract his mother "you should enter it in the Alice Springs show"

"Oh David you're just biased" she laughed turning around to face the TV,

"I'll turn it off now, its not that often I see my son now" she joked as Olivia's face appeared on screen again

"That poor detective from New York who has just vanished, I hope they find her soon" she replied sadly

"Do they know what happened to her?" he asked curiously

"Just they think she was taken, I didn't hear it all, as the phone rang and then you arrived my love"

"Where's Dan" he asked wondering where his mothers husband was

"He'll be home soon, he's got long days with the mustering"

"Something smells yum, make enough for one more?" he asked his big blue eyes looking up at his mother.

"Of course love, but are you staying for dinner or going out again, we never get to see you anymore" she said to her son

"Mum, you don't want your 24 year old son hanging around you" he laughed at her

"I know it you have a girlfriend, I'd love to meet her love, why don't you bring her up here for the weekend"

Kissing his mother on top of the head "I don't have a girlfriend mum, but if I did you would definitely meet her"

The phone trilled in the family "Dave, love can you get the phone"

David was already on his way not wanting his mother to answer it, what if someone called her, told her that her son was wanted by police, no he couldn't risk it. Especially after her picked up the phone," Margi, Margi, oh did you see the news, David is wanted by police for kidnapping that poor American Detective."

"no she didn't and he was going to try to make sure she didn't" he whispered to himself as he hung up the phone

"Who was it love" she called out

"no one there, probably wrong number mum" as he quickly leant over pulling out the phone line

"I'd love to stay mum, but I have to go, catching up with some friends, wanted to make sure you're ok, say hi to Dan from me, love you heaps" he said kissing his mother on the forehead leaning on the door closed behind him.

Damm those cops, Dickinson should of kept the press conference off, he trusted him to ensure everything was ok, now he would have to kill Olivia he wasn't going to jail over her or anyone


	13. Chapter 13

_*********************** This chapter contains rape and violence *****************_

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"Leon patch my mobile through to the coms" she wasn't taking any chances of anyone hearing this, to warn Sergeant Dixon this was the last chance if this failed she didn't want to think about that

"Lawson you all set, picked up the cars everything ready?"

"we have just picked them all up now, and transferred everything we need over, they are all set, we'll be ready to leave Alice in about 5"

"stand by Lawson and I will bring the NYPD out shortly we need to wait until he is on the outskirts"

"Josh and Michael will be in the 4WD with Agent Porter, Dom and Cassie in the SUV with Fin, Stel with me in TR1 along with Amaro and Captain Cragen if he is coming and Matt and Christian n TR2 I will brief them all when they arrive"

her eyes back on the screen "you still got a signal and tracking the car Leon" she asked him trying not to sound anxious

"Steady as it goes Kerry, he is still in Alice springs heading north on the Stuart Highway but still in the suburbs don't worry"

Jumping as she brings her hands thumping the desk "There is a cop out there we have no idea where" pointing at the screen "its been five days Leon coming up to six days looking for her, we're running out of options here" her voice rising "you haven't found her we are running blind here still"

"we will find her Kerry" inching away from her "we have a rough position of where she is"

"rough is correct she is within a radius of 200 square km she could be in a hut, car on the ground or even dead for all we know, the outback is a vast place Leon" spreading her arms out "with no water, even if we narrow it down to the property or track It could still take weeks or longer to find her"

" _this has to work, this is going to work it can not go wrong"_ the thoughts going through her head

"Kerry he has stopped"

"What" coming out of her thoughts her hands rubbing down her face _this is not happening_

"where is he" her voice demanding, biting her lips her hand over her mouth moving up to her eyes

"Leon I need answers" her voice nearly shouting at him

"I'm getting there Kerry, he's at the Ampol Service station at Stuart"

"log into their cameras now"

"I'm ahead of you here Kerry, I know what I'm doing"

"that's debatable" mumbling under her breath

"I heard that" turning to face her "you'd be lost without me and miss me if I was gone"

"As much as I miss smoking" her voice a whisper "face the screen Leon" her voice louder

"you smoked" Leon asked surprised

"Leon" her voice with warning

"logged in now Kerry, he's filled up with petrol and"

"can you zoom in to see what he has bought" her voice questioning

"it looks like duct tape, a tarp, drinks and I can't see the rest" shrugging at him

"Everything that he can explain away" thumping the table in frustration "patch my mobile through to their coms again"

"a please would be nice you know Kerry"

Leaning down close to his ear "you will get more than a please soon" her voice warning him

" Lawson, send TR2 Matt and Christian to Ampol Service Station at Stuart, I want the receipts and find out what Sergeant Dickinson bought, Leon will send through his picture shortly, I'll meet you with the NYPD's in 5 minutes at the pick up place, only channel 25 to be used at all times"

Her eyes moving around the room unable to focus on anything her heart beating faster she wasn't used to failing, she didn't like feeling like she had let people down "NYPD in the lunch room"

She didn't wait for an answer they needed to be ready and go and now

"Okay guys listen up you should all have a vest by now and suited up and a gun without one you're not going out on this. I'll drop you off and you will be going up with TR, needless to say Tactical Response is in charge here and Lawson will be the commanding officer on location, each vest is fitted with a coms and lapel cam, ensure they are turned on at all times, and whatever is said will come through the coms"

"guys, be ready in a minute"

"Kerry I'm going with them"

Shaking her head turning around seeing Brian's gaze not moving from hers "you can't Cassidy you're involved with the victim it can and would jeopardise the case"

Ignoring Kerry moving away from her "I'm going, you either let me go with them or I will get my car and make my own way"

Her eyes moving up to meet his, her gaze not faltering "Cassidy a word of warning when I say something I mean it YOU ARE NOT going"

"Try and stop me" his voice challenging

"Believe me I will, even it means tying that cute arse of yours to a chair" her voice softening "I know you want to come but the longer we stay here arguing the longer they are getting to your girlfriend"

Moving towards the communications room "do yourself a favour and me and stay here, there are two things you will learn about me 1. I am always right 2. I always get my own way"

Putting her hands on his shoulder pushing him down "sit in that chair before I force you too" her voice softening she did feel for him "get the properties off Leon, go through the maps, see if you can find anything, a hut, outhouse shearers something away from the main homestead"

Watching in disbelief and awe as she walks out of the room "is she always like that'

Seeing Leon turn to face him a smile on his face "yep and she is right on all of those but she is one of the best bosses I have worked with even if she does have her moments or many of them"

"Does she have a boyfriend or anyone" his voice was curious

"No she is single, not that half the squad here wouldn't mind having something with her, she is pretty hot for her age but she and Lawson I think had something going for a while" turning in his seat to look at Brian "why do you want to know that, Aren't they all out there looking for your girlfriend"

Why did he want to know that he had no idea, maybe something to take his mind of Olivia or the fact that there was something about her and she was pretty hot "Just curious, she seems so in control of everything, she kind of reminds me a bit of Liv" _work first and relationship second until William Lewis when their relationship took priority for a while and their relationship moved up a level to moving in_

His hand running down his face before resting his head in his hands his elbows resting on his knees "they have to find her, its been four days four days what if she isn't alive" mumbling to himself

"Kerry is one of the best around, she is overseeing it all from her and Lawson the dickhead that he is, with him coordinating it there, they will find her"

"Kerry and Lawson, they seem so different"

"they are, maybe that is why they didn't work or the fact that they can't help trying to outdo each other and outsmarting each other, Kerry seems to delight in trying to gain the upper hand over him but they do work well together and she trusts him more than she trusts most people, it was a rocky start when she joined the squad as leader, taking over form Lawson but if anyone can find Olivia it is Kerry and this squad, they will find her Brian"

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Only when she was lying on the bed her hands tied and her legs tied together that she realised for now it was finally over, she knew they would be back for more. She had lost count of how many times she had been raped, each assault seemed worse than the last with the one today most brutal of them all, .

Her panties on touching the burn on her, irritating it but each time she moved the pain between her legs ached more and more. Her legs tied together, they knew aggravated her soreness more. How much more could she endure, would they ever find her, did her squad even know where to look had they given up looking.

The tears falling freely down her face she wanted to struggle against the restraints the fear of what he had done to her each movement even slight causing her pain, she was broken wondering if she ever escaped or got out of here would she really come back from it all.

She couldn't escape him she had tried, she truly wondered if she ever would really recover from it, would she ever really leave this place he had ripped her to shreds, she had lost hope of being found but she wasn't going to beg not yet, she wasn't going to give up hope she had to cling to something.

Her eyes moving down to her battered body lingering on the initials on her arm a constant reminder of what she was going through the pain, pain was there through it all, she could feel the blood dripping down below, her insides hurt, her thighs hurt there wasn't any part of her body that didn't hurt.

Her eyes were open but vacant in the dark room, trying not to move, the more she didn't want to think the more she did. Thoughts raging through her mind the past now anything she wanted to block it all out. She was a shell of her former self she didn't know how much more she could endure she could feel the blood again pooling between her legs. She was smarter than this, how did she let this happen the assault.

Seeing Sergeant Dixon walk in her shoulders had sagged, here was the man leading her disappearance involved in it all then those three officers, where had he taken the squad were they even still looking for her

She was tired but the pain she felt was stopping her sleeping, the bleeding now stopped, the only thing that had stayed with her through it all and still was there was pain it made it real

She wanted to think that she wouldn't beg for him to kill her to let her die but she found her resolve failing was it easier to just end it all to give up, the pain was over powering and the thought of him doing it again would she rather die than face it again.

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She had finally heard the words from Leon "he is on the move heading north he is has just past the Alice springs Welcome Sign"

Facing the group each face having a different expression hope, sadness disbelief each in their own thought

"Listen up guys, he has now left Alice springs, silent approach at all times, we don't want him warned, use channel 25 the silent channel we have no idea if he is working by himself or if there are other corrupt cops here in Alice, we have to at the moment think the worse"

She was someone who had to be in control and now was not the time to think she was anything but "Lawson is in charge of the operation, any of you go off on your own, you will be sent right back, the outback is a vast huge place and if you have no idea of where you are, we do not want to send out another search party. Once we have an idea the RFDS will be on standby. Leon will patch the signal through to the cars so you can keep an eye on it all, remember closes to rest areas and roadhouses he could stop so marked cars keep a safe distance away and the straight roads there is a high visibility"

Watching as they walk over to the car there was something that this could finally be it, hope amongst them all "ok guys, remember to talk to each other, communication keep your coms on at all times and stay safe and keep out of sight at all times be careful," she called out

Her hand going over and through her head she was nervous watching the cars drive out was this is, would they finally be able to find Olivia and alive

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The fear she felt each time she heard the door open, feeling her body stiffen, trembling frozen in fear, how much more could her body endure, her body was batten and broken, the revulsion of his touch.

The sight of him made her nauseous, everything about him, even so she couldn't help her eyes follow his movement wondering what he was going to do to her next. Was that part of it all the psychological element, the wondering the hope that it might end

Hearing his footsteps walking over to the bed her heart beating faster, she wanted to move away from him, from his touch but he made sure she was unable to move, her shoulders hurting as they were pulled tight as her hands were tied to the bed.

His hand on her thigh rubbing it up and down, her body stiffening feeling his hand at her entrance closing her eyes in pain as he pulls the gun out of her "that wasn't too bad after all"

Her eyes were fixated on him as he patted and rubbed the gun as if it was his prize possession as he positioned himself on the bed, she could feel herself shiver, tremble as his feet straddled her body his lips moving up her body

"life as you know it Olivia is gone, it will never be the same, you will look over your shoulder, a car door closing, you hear a sound that will remind you of me. You will wake up at night screaming, shaking" her eyes fixated on him her body heaving with dry sobs feeling his hand caressing her face "do you already do that, you'll never be the same again, you'll shudder at your boyfriends touch. I have altered your life"

Without warning she felt his lips on hers hard "that's if you get out of here alive" whispering roughly in her ear.

Her body bucking and thrashing on the bed struggling against the restraints as his hand softly caressing her cheek, moving down her arm littering it with kisses "you'll wake up in a cold sweat wondering if I am in the room with you with a gun to your head, what I would do with it, thinking I'm inside of you" his mouth moving to her breasts nipping them leaving an imprint "wondering how this happened, what you did to be kidnapped twice and raped, how as a police officer it happened to you"

 _Hearing a noise in the bedroom my gun pointed at him, Lewis no one was going to surprise me again, no one was_

" _Liv it's me Brian, here give me the gun, it oks"_

" _I'm sorry Brian, I'm sorry"_

" _its ok, its ok" his embrace so warm the gun out of her hand_

Her eyes moving up to his as his eyes move down to meet hers "that's all in your head not mine"

She felt the gun rub against her leg and down her leg her body frozen again in fear, slight relief as he moves it away "your hopes and dreams for the future, life as you know it is gone, you wanted a family to grow old, would you want your boyfriend to touch you again"

She could feel him move slightly off the bed "its nothing to be ashamed of Olivia, how many people especially police do you know who have been taken twice, they all go through it but not many would be stupid enough to be taken twice"

"did you ever see a therapist after Lewis did he tell you that you'd recover be whole again, he's lying you know that now don't you, after this you won't recover they never do" she could feel him closer to her again his breath close to her face "do you find it hard to trust before this?"

Her eyes staring blankly up to the ceiling, she didn't want to listen to him it was all too real, the nightmares, flashbacks all of it. She suffered nightmares, flashbacks shaking it was all there

 _Liv babe it's going to be alright, shh I'm here he I'm not going to let him hurt you again, it's alright babe_

 _The shaking shivering, curled up in a tight ball in the corner her hands around her knees bringing them up to her chest, Brian's touch so gentle on her arm, tentatively putting it there asking permission with his touch, he even slept on the couch if I wanted him too, his arms around me, holding her tight rocking me back and forth his touch so gentle, his mouth on her forehead his kiss so gentle "don't leave me Bri, hold me"  
"I'm not going anywhere Liv" _  
"Olivia do you learn, I'm talking to you and when I ask you a question I expect an answer" reprimanding her like a naughty child

She turned her head slowly "is that what you call it, its just shit spurting from your mouth, what affect your hope or wish you had on people its all in your head, your dreams not mine"

Shaking his head in disappointment "after all our time together here, it's been 5 or so days and I feel you still don't even know me"

" _Welcome Home Detective Benson"_

" _you were so sweet, we're past that"_

" _one move lights out I'll do you cold"_

" _don't play me"_

 _The gun shoved into her mouth "now you say it" "I want to live I'll do anything, I'll do anything"_

" _yes you will"_

" _Elliot put in his papers Liv"_

 _Her mind going back to the basement at Sealview back to the Beachhouse she was getting confused, hearing someone talk to her, Lewis "you'd only be so lucky someone would do that to you"_

" _you know what let it rain"_

" _you don't want to do this"_

 _A knocking at the door, was that someone to save her "hello" was that someone at the door now was she hallucinating was it knocking_

" _help, Help"_

"help, help" her body thrashing and bucking trying to get out of the restraints " _you can do it, you know you can"_

"No one is able to help you, Oh Lord you're not having flashbacks are you" he asked happily

She didn't even realised she had yelled out loud her eyes focusing on him back to the situation now, her eyes blank

"I heard about the trial and Lewis" straddling her, her body frozen as his hands moved roughly over her breasts "but what I have put you through is much worse" she could hear the smugness in his voice

She could him move off her his hands running down her smooth leg "flashbacks are common PTSD is real I've heard" moving his eyes up to meet hers "if you didn't have it before I'm sure you will now. Nobody recovers from things like this all you will remember of the past few days is me inside of you" her body stiffening feeling his hands moving up her leg cupping between her thigh before outlining the burn on her leg "each time you see the marks, walk it will all be a constant reminder you will never forget"

"you're the one obsessed here with me, whatever you think you have done to me, whatever you think you are doing to me its in your head not mine" she replied as confidently as she could moving her eyes up to meet his defiantly

Digging his thumb into the burn "is that in my head Olivia the pain, the burn there, open those brown eyes of yours"

She did as she was told seeing the corners of his mouth turning up in satisfaction her eyes staring unable to focus "I thought you would count yourself lucky that I was obsessed with you means that you're still alive" he growled at her

His hands gripping her thighs pulling them apart roughly her heart beating faster she was terrified of what he would still do to her how much more he would do to her, she had no strength to stop him the resistance she tried futile. His hands moving roughly around her she was frozen even after all this time she was frozen in fear unable to take any more

Shoving two fingers inside of her twisting them around before adding the third, she felt nauseated at his touch, the grin on his face as he withdrew his fingers sucking on them hungrily whilst she bucked and struggled underneath him "its been a while since I've had you again" whispering as he stroked her clit, struggling to move away from his touch his mouth sucking, licking and nipping at her

She could feel her body struggling against his touch, stiffening her shoulders heaving with sobs at the intrusion she knew would follow, the way her body had betrayed her. She could feel her body wanting to come to orgasm and climax her body bucking but fear this time was fear or what would follow

His smile was the evil grin, coldness in them "I knew it, you want to come but are scared each time you want to orgasm you'll think of this and me, the pain you feel afterwards, its been way to long"

Her whole body had tensed up as he roughly put his length inside, his hands gripping her thighs roughly bruising them

" _I thought you would count yourself lucky you're still alive"_ luck what part of this was luck would it be better off dead not to endure one violent assault after the other, waking up shaking screaming wondering if he was there, would I even want to be intimate again would I want sex again a family,

" _what I have put you through is much worse all you will remember is me inside of you_ " would she ever be able to move on, would she ever not be able to think of that, the burns, the marks forever branded of this place

She didn't want to think about what he said, she didn't want to think about what was happening she wanted to be anywhere but here faraway from here, away from the pain

With one final painful thrust he had finished the thrust that bought her back to the present and the pain and the scream that came out was barely a whisper

"I think I want to keep you around for a while, you are the best I've had" releasing himself before withdrawing from her, stroking his length before pulling his pants back on

"it will be a while before I tire of you yet" feeling his lips hard on hers "I am going to break you, rest up you'll need it before I come back" he growled

She could hear the door close her eyes looking up at the ceiling, blankness in them, even after all this time she was still in shock, horror and disbelief that this was happening, each time she saw him her body would shake and tremble, the fear at his touch. She was hollow a shell of her former self she didn't know

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The drive out of Alice Springs sombre each in their own thought, his eyes not focusing on much as the scenery speeds by only noticing how dry and forlorn it all looked echoing his own mood and thoughts, how wold they find her, would they find just a body would they find Olivia alive, what had she been through his thoughts overrunning his mind unable to stop them each of them going to a dark place

Closing his eyes his mind goes back to the 6 months previously walking her out of the beach house a blanket wrapped around her, a former shell of herself numb and in shock, no idea what she had been through, driving her to the hospital. He would never forget the look in her eyes on that drive glancing in the mirror it was like she wasn't there she was some place else, some place where he hoped she would never go again.

Again he had failed his partner again it took him a few days to realise she was missing " _in your defence Nick, it was a weekend" the inner voice wouldn't stop "you should of done something, you always promised yourself to look after her again and you failed what sort of partner are you"_ hanging his head in his hands she deserved better

Olivia was like a daughter to him, Olivia had been with him for 15 years she was more than a squad member she was like family she was his 2IC. The thought of losing her again he didn't want to think about, he didn't want to go there. He was thankful in a way that he wasn't in charge this time, he wasn't the one making decision that would affect Olivia's life her survival. Each time his thoughts would go there all he could think about was how could another police officer do that, how could another police officer Sergeant help a sonofabitch like that, why, that word why something he would never know

Lawson's eyes kept glancing into the rearview mirror he could see the hope and fear on both their faces, he wanted to meet this Sergeant Olivia Benson to see who she was that had such affect on people, her entire squad nearly travelled over here to help find her

Olivia Benson wasn't just another officer she was someone who had great respect from all NYPD, each person she met, she had such empathy with the victims. He would remember the first time he met Olivia undercover, she was annoying but by the end he had to admit she did have a way with people, getting them to open up he was impressed by her, She was good at her job like she said and that he did want to know her slightly better.

He would always regret " _our feelings don't matter"_ that case that drove a huge wedge between them, the first time he felt her lips on his, it was when he wanted more.

He got more he should of realise she had been drugged but he so wanted her that he believed that she wanted him too. He should of realised she wasn't being petty but she was in danger would it be too late to say I'm sorry.

"Sergeant Joshua, any idea where we are going, where Sergeant Dixon is going, this could all be a wild goose chase"

"it's the best lead we have, look around there is nothing out here, which makes it a great place to take someone you don't want to be found, and as long as the signal on his car is coming through" the glare in his eyes was enough to back him off "Out here Porter it a hell a lot different to New York, so let us do our job"

He had known Olivia for 14 years she had been in SVU one year longer than he had, in that time he had grown close to her, he had seen her go through a lot coming so close to being assaulted in the basement that time he had been able to save her, not realising the extend of her PTSD then until she pulled a gun on the marine guy she had glazed over, he could still remember that the gun pointed to his head, at one stage he thought she might just pull the trigger it was like she didn't see him there, she had been framed for murder, being there at the beachouse with William Lewis to finally seeing her happy and settled with Brian.

Elliot leaving affected her, him putting in his papers and not saying goodbye or letting her know,

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Her breathe hitched at the sight of David walking back inside every part of her body crying out in fear, why hadn't her team found her was Sergeant Dickinson right that he was sending them in the wrong direction

How many days had it been now, each rolling into one, she lost count of the number of times he had raped, sodomised or assaulted her after 15

The mattress dipping under his weight her body tensed up with fear, her insides were sore she was torn apart.

She turned her head automatically away from him unable to see his face, unable to escape from his touch.

"look at me Olivia"

Ignoring his demand she couldn't look at him

"You've got fight in you and I like that I DON'T like being ignored" he threatened her "Now look at me"

Digging his fingers into the burn on her sensitive part and her thigh pressing deeper and deeper watching as her body tenses fighting against his touch

The burn still tender slowly turning her head towards him, pain was his weapon, with that he was able to make her do anything "you really don't learn do you, there is a hard way and easy way why do you always chose the hard way for yourself, you know that in the end I will win" he admonishes her

His hand gently moving her hair away from her face, gently moving down her cheek, whimpering as he kisses her hard

"I've been thinking, and it is your lucky day I have always wanted to be a father, to have a boy to set an example to, have someone who looks up to you"

"what kind of example could you set a kid, who would look up to a bastard like you" spitting out at him

Straddling her, his hand squeezing her face hard before moving down to her throat watching as she bucks and thrashes underneath him trying to get the air into her lungs "it is rude to interrupt Olivia when I'm talking to you" reprimanding her like a naughty child watching her face turn blue

Just when she thought she would pass out his hands released from her throat, gasping for air to fill up her lungs

Giving her a hard backhand slap "here I was telling you how lucky you should be too" before moving off her

"now where was I up to, you are not like any of the others, you have spunk, fight and I kind of like that even if you are stupid, I couldn't think of a better slut as a mother, here is the new deal I am going to put one inside of you and I'm going to keep you alive until you pop out a boy for me"

Her eyes not moving from him trying to process what he was saying as he walks around the hut "who knows after all the sex we have had you could already have a bun in that oven but for the time being we will just keep on trying"

"Rape isn't sex, you're deluded if you think it is" she spat at him

"let's just say then penetration is involved in getting that bun in your oven and will be a whole lot more in trying" he replied lustfully his hands moving up her leg.

Freezing as his hands cupping at her thigh "you know Olivia I would of thought you would have been happier about this" his lips trailing down her arm as she whimpers "you get to stay alive for longer, and you get to become a mother"

Choking back the sobs feeling her body shaking uncontrollably as his lips move down to her thigh and clit his eyes moving up to hers "not that you would really get to appreciate it, we will just keep on trying until we get a boy, we could even start now"

"No, please no" her voice sobbing

"that wasn't a choice, it doesn't matter what you want Olivia you should know that by now, it is what daddy wants and that is now to put that bun in your oven and watch it come out of you pussy"

Feeling him lower himself onto her, her body thrashing struggling below him, the restraints holding her tight, her body trembling, "please not again" ignoring her pleas as he thrusts into her

 _Count yourself lucky, you get to stay alive for longer_ lucky she felt anything but lucky her eyes staring blankly ahead pain, pain was all she was feeling. Why wasn't she found, it was five days wasn't it as she was still here would she ever be found did they know where she was.

 _I'm going to put one inside of you, pop a boy out_ what if he had already done that, what about the morning after pill, it was too late for that, no no it can't happen she could never have his baby life couldn't be that cruel could it but even as she said it she knew it could be and the thought of a child growing inside of her filled her with more fear than she already had.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A bit of slight relief in this one this chapter does what it is meant to**_

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"Kerry" Leon called out "he's stopped looks like some rest area just south of Ti Tree roadhouse"

"any CCTV cameras in the rest area?" Kerry asked hopefully

"Nope, nothing it is one of the basic ones, a compost toilet and that's it"

"is there anywhere that they can pull over hide and still have a visual without being seen?"

Shaking his head "Not really, no side tracks much around, they could pull off the road in a few hundred metres and partially hide but that's about it"

"guys" her voice into her head set "He has pulled over in the rest area" raising her eyes at Leon whispering "how far ahead is he?"

"he is about 15 km ahead, pull over where you can and out of sight for the time being"

"you just going to stop and wait" disbelief in Brian's voice "why not just pull over now, make him take them to her" running his hand through his hair "it's been 5 ½ days coming up to the 6th night she is gone, what is he doing to her, we just need to find her, you just can't do nothing" he told Kerry angrily

"Brian don't piss me off here, let me do my job" she ordered him "I'm letting you stay here against my better judgement, but you're starting to piss me off"

"you can stay here and help Leon but you think you can do better, then leave go back to your hotel room, as you will be no good here" her voice slightly gentler

She couldn't help but pace around, six nights nearly that Olivia had been taken and they were not that much closer finding out exactly where she was. It didn't matter they knew who was involved what good was it when they had no idea where they had taken her, what they had done to her. Her hands moving through her hair the frustration there, slamming her hand down on her desk

"he's not moving Kerry" Leon's eyes still on the screen "I think he is waiting for night or meeting someone"

"Lawson" slight hope in her voice "did Sergeant Dickinson ever see Matt and Cassie, or meet the whole squad"

"I don't think he has, just the ones who flew down, Matt, Cassie I don't think he met Josh or Christian either"

"Matt and Cassie, change or put your civvies over the top take the 4WD and drive past, I don't want him spooked, the continue on for a while" Kerry ordered

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She finally recognised it was over again the light dimming through the slits of the window as he withdrew himself from her doing up his zipper

"Rest up Olivia I will be back, so try to get some rest before we try to make this baby again, who knows maybe you are already up the duff and pregnant, but we will still have some fun" he teased her

"you call this fun" the words spat out "it is nothing but rape, I'll NEVER have your baby" she screamed at him

His hand was stroking her hair moving it away from her face "I thought you would be happy, you ungrateful whore here I was considering untying you too" backhanding her across the face

She felt the bed dip as he straddled her his hands moving down her stomach "Such a lovely sight" His lips licking her stomach "since we will be spending so much time together, if you promise to be good, I am going to uncuff your hands"

She could feel his hands moving down her leg, she would tense at his touch flinching as he touched her swollen ankle "I don't think you could go far on this ankle anyway think it could be broken, we could check"

She felt him stand on the blanket bringing his foot down on her leg/ankle she could hear the bone break a crack she squeezed her eyes shut twisting her face in agony trying to pull on the restraints her breathe was shaky and laboured trying to breath through the pain she was in the thought of holding her ankle to try to make it stop hurting, she didn't want to look down she was unable to, the feel of his hands squeezing her foot a moan of pain escaping her lips the agony was unbearable

"maybe I should break the other one, so you can't escape"

"no, I'll be good I promise" she cried her eyes moving up to his away from the pain of her ankle

"I won't for the time being but if you do try to escape the other leg will be worse" he threatened her

Twisting the chain in his hands "if by some miracle you do escape how long do you think you will last out there, dingoes, snakes, crocodiles all the dangerous animals"

Her eyes were fixated on the chain that he was twisting moving in his hands whimpering as he lowers his face towards hers "they can smell fear, smell blood" taunting her "you won't last out there, there is no one around for days, miles you are weak, you need water you won't survive"

She felt his hands pressing into her ribs closing her eyes in pain "pain is what you will remember pain, your ribs, ankle, between your legs" his hands moving slowly up her body tensing her body for what she expected to come "now I'm a man of my word so I am going to uncuff you"

His hand on her back and her wrist guiding her to a sitting position closing her eyes the touch of his hand on the burns and her swollen wrist

She felt him on the bed next to her twisting her arm painfully behind her back whimpering in agony, squeezing her arms shut her face in agony at her already sore shoulder "please stop, Please" she whimpered

The relief she felt as she let go of her arm before being pushed down on the bed bringing his hand down hard on her already sore wrist, her already shaky laboured breath trying to breathe through the new pain surging through her body, the feel of his hand squeezing her wrist "you'll live" a moan of pain escaping her lips as he bends each finger back hearing the bone snap the agony unbearable she could feel herself float off into darkness

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He was totally ashamed he couldn't get the picture out of his head, her screaming, begging pleading her pititful sobs as he watched them brutally rape her showing her no mercy. Hanging his head tears forming he had joined them, been part of it he didn't want to and he should of stood up to them " _think about what you're doing"_

" _How can you do this"_

He had no answer he had tossed and turned all night unable to sleep once he got home, he had tried to be gentle with her, whispering softly to her "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" he should of done something anything to try to stop them, to stop himself

You can Josh you can go to Inspector Vincent and tell her what you saw, where she is, do the right thing help Olivia he thought to himself.

Could he do it, he knew what it meant if he did, he could go to jail or worse be targeted the image of Olivia raped and beaten lying on the bed wouldn't leave his head

"you know what the right thing to do is" he mused to himself would he have the courage to do it

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"Leon has the warrants come through yet to put taps on the phones, and get the numbers and texts they call, I want to know what they send in a text too" Kerry's voice demanded

"it hasn't come through yet Kerry, they are still working on it, it is a big ask tapping every Alice Springs Police officer phone" Leon replied

"I know I know, but I'm not taking any risks here, I am pretty sure he isn't in this by himself, someone is with him or knows, there was a group of them on Friday night they are either saying nothing, don't know or protecting each other" frustration in her voice

"I'm going to find out and nail every one of those sick bastards" she seethed

"Let me know when it comes through, and also make sure that you get access to read any text messages, I want ALL of this legal so there are no loopholes that they can use" before walking off

"How are you going to do it Kerry, how are you going to find out which ones are helping him or know" curiosity in his voice

"I'm going to tell them that we have found out where Olivia is, and a team is going in shortly to get her, I'm sure that they will warn him, which will also lead us to exactly where he is"

"Are you sure, or is she sure she knows what she's doing this is Liv's life on the line here, I want to catch these sonofabitches but not at the cost on Liv's life" Brian asked slight desperation in his voice

"Kerry is one of the best around, she knows what she is doing, she would NEVER risk anyone's life to catch someone , but she is right we need to know EVERYONE who is in in on this, and that is the way"

"Kerry" Leon called out "He is just sitting or waiting in the car, no one else is there"

"you sure he is still in the car?" she called out

"yes, she put a camera onto the side of the car"

"What the fuck is he doing?" wondering out loud

"I say he's waiting to night fall, or to see if someone is following him?" Cassidy replies "At night time it is harder to follow someone, the head lights of the car pick up a long distance behind, especially if no one else is around, in daylight you can follow unseen easier"

"I used to work UC undercover for years, for a lot of scum and the last one I was an ex NYPD officer, you pick up a lot of things" seeing Kerry raise her eyebrows at him "my guess is once dusk falls, he will make his move, so unless they can drive without headlights, they will pretty much be seen"

She was impressed with him "you're more than just a face then around here, not bad, used to?" she questioned

"long story" he replied someone who actually had no idea Brian Cassidy the guy who was demoted for having sex with a hooker or being involved with one.

"if that is the case, where does that leave Liv? If you can't follow him at night you've lost him then?"

"Brian, we are not giving up here, if you are right which I think you could be, we just have to find another way, as long as we have the tracker on his car, we can follow 5 km or so behind him without giving it away"

"Kerry he's on the move now" Leon's voice interrupting them "Lawson, he's moving off heading north"

"Guys remember to stay a safe distance away, we CANNOT afford him to see the TR vehicles"

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"Kerry, sorry Inspector Vincent" he was frozen at the door watching as the Inspector turned around to look at him her blue eyes piercing through him, could he do it

"Constable Patterson?"

"Yes Inspector, Constable Josh Patterson, could we go somewhere to talk" he couldn't stop fiddling with his hands his voice full of nerves

His head down unable to look at her "I know where Sergeant Benson is" his voice was barely audible

"What?" the surprise in her voice "where, how?"

Hanging his head the shame there he didn't want to see the look of hatred, loathing in her eyes "I know because I have seen her and been out there, I can show you on a map where she is" moving his eyes finally up to meet hers, surprise in them "I can give you all the information you require Inspector, all I ask of you is please give me some protection, you will understand after what I tell you, I'm risking my life here but… I'm ashamed and I know I need to be punished for what I did but knowing and seeing it" the tears falling from his face "I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry"

"Pull yourself together constable and tell me what you know, then if warranted I will get you into protection, you have my word"

"give me a pen and paper and I will write down who I know is involved and her location"

She turned at the door relief on her face her eyes on Constable Patterson his head in his hand the tears streaming down his face stopping before walking out "Why, why did you do it and what does Sergeant Dickinson have against Sergeant Benson?"

Moving his head up slowly "I can't answer that, I had a few to drink, I didn't want to but I thought ….. I was scared that if I didn't what they might do to me. I was weak… Sergeant Dickinson, he's moved around a lot, he has only come to Alice Springs the past six months or so. There has been a few rape complaints but they have been dropped check where Winters has been and Dickinson, they have been working together for a while"

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All she had time to do was think, it was think or fear the relief she felt when he left was overcome by the fear of what would happen when he came back, what would happen if he didn't come back, she didn't know which was worse the assault and the knowledge that he wanted to kill her and the threats of that which would be slow and painful or the hope he had left and someone would find her.

Curling up in a ball each part of her body in pain, she could not distinguish one from the other

 _What if he had already succeeded in making me pregnant, no life couldn't be that cruel it just couldn't or wouldn't happen she insisted too late to take the morning after pill, no you can't get pregnant by being raped, yeah right what did that judge know just look at me she mused_

 _You've got to be strong Olivia, don't give up hope you will get out of here._

Running her hands down her face _please stop talking to me, I'm not going crazy so many voices no_

It took all of her strength to sit on the bed, one hand useless cradling it in her hand, tentatively her feet on the ground closing her eyes in agony unable to put weight on her foot or leg pain shooting up her leg.

It had taken a while but she had somehow managed to crawl/shuffle to the bathroom the water falling over her body the water tinged with the blood, trying to scrub away, scrub it all away the gang rape sliding down to the floor unable to stand up on her weakened legs. Would the images ever go away the water had lost its warmth unable to feel the cold.

Shuffling over to the toilet , the thought of what she had to do what she was forced to do heaving into the bowl the contents of her stomach coming up, ones that she would rather not be there

Somehow she made it back to the bed her eyes scanning the hut, he knew she wouldn't get far out there, the pain radiating between her legs

 _I can't go through it again I just can't, five of them five policeman did it how, how_ that one word how could someone in that position do it.

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Cassidy I have a job for you make yourself useful, I need you to go through and find out every place Dickinson has been stationed at and find out how many reported rapes or rapes were in that area" Kerry ordered him "Not just in Northern Territory but Australia wide"

"Leon, I need cover for the vehicles in this area, somewhere they won't be seen" she ordered him`, her eyes glancing at Constable Patterson, she felt disgust at what he told her, disgust that he had been part of it, looking at him he was ashamed and the courage it took to turn on them all

"Josh' bending down reaching for his hands "I need you to pull yourself together ok, you did well in coming to me, we will get her, just keep it together for a few more hours, go home or stay here, I will need you to pack a bag of what you need, I will keep you safe" she promised him

Kerry' hearing Leon call out her name "I did some digging, Albatross Station is owned by Daniel and Margi Gibson"

"we know that Leon" rolling her eyes at him

"what I bet you didn't know is that Margi Gibson, is his second wife, he got married three years ago his first wife died seven years ago in a car accident"

"Leon" Kerry said impatiently "you have a point to this"

"I'm getting to that, Margi Gibson used to be known as Margi Winters, she had a son when she was only 15 years old, that son…."

"is David Winters" Kerry replied excitedly

"yes, he would know all that property it is one of the larger stations covering 200 square km, I did a search after getting that information, they have three huts on their property, and shearers quarters, and a shearing shed. The Shearers quarters are too close to the house, the shed is out, but I have gotten the location of the three huts, two of them are on the access road that Josh mentioned, the other one, is for droving and no vehicular access"

Was it possible that they were close to finding her closing her eyes taking deep breathes, her hands gripping Leon's shoulder "Great work Leon"

"Lawson" into her head piece "I want Matt & Cassie to go to Ti Tree Roadhouse, once I know he is inside I want you to go to the access road, details will be sent through via Leon, we have no idea what car Winters has, but keep an eye out"

"There was a blue Toyota Landcruiser at the hut, when we arrived, I'm not sure if it was there when we left" Josh said quietly. He wouldn't be able to tell them much after what had happened "I think the number plate was 200 ….0 ….47 it could be, but I'm not sure" his voice apologetically

"you're doing goo Josh, I'd get someone to drive you back, are they all in on it here?" she questioned him

"Not everyone" shaking his head regretfully "some have turned a blind eye, others have no idea, I don't know who is or not, but the five of us who went out there, he has something over most of us, failing piss tests, Jer was caught sleeping with someone"

"he used his position of authority" shaking her head in disgust

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	15. Chapter 15

_**We are finally getting there**_

 _ **This chapter contains mention of rape no graphic details**_

 _ **Will they find here, is he telling the truth.**_

 _ **Hope you enjoy it and review reveiew**_

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"Kerry TR1 is in position along with Matt & Cassie" she heard Lawson's voice through the coms

"TR2 in position too" Josh's voice over the coms

"now we hope and wait" Kerry whispers more to herself

"Are we sure that the Constable is telling you the truth Kerry, it could all be a decoy" Cassidy's voice echoing her thoughts

"Don't Cassidy….. He was telling the truth" her voice was soft, he had to be, she didn't want to think of any other way.

His mind went back to the pieces he heard gang raped, it went all night, she was begging, pleading, those words had been haunting him, it was better off being in denial wondering and not knowing, _those images never leave you head_ why didn't he believe her when she said that, it was the only major argument they had he wanted to know more, she wouldn't open up to him

Shaking his head, it had been 6 days nearly 7, what else had happened to her, he needed to know what she was like

"Kerry I need to speak to Constable Patterson" his voice was nearly pleading

"No Brian, definitely not" her sharp reply

"You can be there with me….. I just need to know how she was, if….. I just need to know" his voice breaking

"Briefly, and if you touch him, I swear….. " she threatened him

"I won't, I promise" he said softly "I just need to know how…. If…."

His eyes moved straight to the Constable he saw a broken man, his head in his hand, dejected he couldn't feel sorry for him, not now even coming forward he still

"I'm sorry Cassidy, I really am….. " he started out softly

"I'm not interested in your apologies, I want to know how Liv was, what they are planning to do with her"

He could see the love in his eyes, the desperation in them "She is one of the strongest people I have ever seen, but she was weak, she was losing hope, he had… " he was struggling the images of how she looked, beaten, tortured, raped " he/they had no plans on stopping or killing her yet"

 _There will be more nights like this boys using those prime fuckholes, her taking it like a pornstar, heck maybe we can make her into one, with that experience pussy of hers_

"Cassidy I wish I could tell you more, do you really want to know what she looked like how she was" shaking his head looking down "its….she had been beaten…" his voice breaking "she was alive she was still fighting how much more she can take" he couldn't say anymore he didn't want to think about it

"Liv is strong, she's a survivor, by god help me if she is….." his voice menancing

"Cassidy, out now" Kerry's voice booming angrily as he storms out of the room

"I didn't touch him Kerry, I wanted to, you're just going to let him get away with it all" the frustration was evident in his voice, the toll evident on him

"I wish I could throw the book at him, but look at him"

"Bit late for regrets now, easy now to blame someone else, and for him to get off"

"Is he, Brian, is he really getting off, he will have to go into protection after this, move away from his family, be a outcast"

"Am I meant to feel sorry for him?" Disbelief in his voice

"I get it Brian, you're angry, frustrated and wanting answers, but neither he or I can give them to you not yet but we are getting somewhere, and yes I do believe him, just look at him. He's young and stupid and got himself caught up in something he couldn't get out of. Do I want him to pay for raping Olivia yes, does he regret it now, yes but I think he is punishing himself even more than we can. I want them all to pay for what they have done, but all of this needs to be done properly"

Resting her hands on his shoulders "Brian, we are going to get Olivia back and alive"

"Kerry" Leons' voice echoing through the room

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"What have you got for me Leon?"

"He's moving from the roadhouse, I logged into the cameras at the roadhouse and he left there by himself, he was in the bar drinking…"  
"Get on with it Leon"

"Constable Patterson was telling the truth, he has turned off the road to Albatross Station"

"Ok Guys, he is on the move keep an eye out for him, and stay out of vision"

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The door opening, her body trembling with fear as what was to follow "Miss me"

His body dipping the mattress "probably not as much as I have missed you, hungry, I got you some things if you are good I will give you something to eat and drink"

His hands cupping her thighs as his fingers lazily run up her arm down her chest squeezing her nipples tightly and rough

"there isn't a part of you I don't like to touch or taste so far" whispering into her ear

"Why don't we start trying to put that bun in your oven again" her body trembling as his hand fiddled with his jeans

"Please don't, no please" she begged crying knowing that after what happened the previous night her body wasn't up to it, she couldn't take it again

Her body thrashing against the sheets feeling his weight on top of her "I think I will need to tie you down for this, it might get pretty intense"

She did what she could to stop him, hitting him with her good arm, thrashing about with her legs and body "no, don't, oh god no" screaming out

"Afraid he or anyone can help you now" securing one arm to the bed roughly grabbing the other one his legs pinning her to the bed

The tears streaming down her face, as his tongue moves licking them off "such a beautiful sight and taste" his tongue moving about her ear "so beautiful" he whispered

"which hole do you want me to fuck first, your choice, if you don't decide I will do them one by one" he growled into her ear

"you're going to do each one anyway" her voice barely audible choking on her sobs

"you're right there" he chuckled undoing his belt

"Going to share David, you can't keep her all to yourself" George called out from the door

"George, back for more, couldn't stay away" David chuckled "Cant say I blame you, she does have some prime fuck holes here" stroking his member "you need to wait your turn, it could be a while though"

"We could always share David, like before" stroking his moustache walking over to her "I can't get enough of her experienced pussy, especially when it's free"

"Please" she managed to get out her voice barely audible, her body trembling with fear she knew there was no way her body could do one of them , let alone both of them.

She looked up at them with sad tearful eyes begging them to stop pleading with them "no"

"it's his reward for keeping the pigs off my back, without him I'd be….. let say your my payment to him,?"

George's hand moved over her face, caressing her skin with his rough skin moving down grabbing her breasts "I'm so going to enjoy this"

She felt the dip of the bed as he crawled his way beside her, watching helplessly as David moved to the front of her

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Running her hand through her hair, Josh's words ringing through her head, could she believe him could she risk her team to save Olivia, could she wait a few more hours, had he already been tipped off, could they lose her

"Lawson stand down, I don't want you going in until the first light see if you can get a few hours rest somewhere"

"We are going to wait" His voice coming through the coms

"yes" the word barely audible "I … can't risk the team, we have no idea what terrain is there, if you had seen the area before it would be different, but one wrong move or noise, could warn them, I want you stationed and ready to go at first light"

"Are you kidding and serious Kerry, they are already there" Brian exploded "you are going to leave Liv with this manic another night, didn't you hear what he said, he has another night or raping her, torturing her, I'm going out there"

"You leave this building at head there Brian Cassidy, I will haul you so quickly into jail you won't know what hit you. Despite my better judgement I'm letting you stay here" she warned him

"I … its been 7 days Kerry, 7 days, what are they doing to her" his voice flat trying to contain his emotion

"I know Cassidy, don't you think I want to go in and save her, it's not only here I need to think about I have a whole team out there of my guys and the NYPD, one wrong move, or step could be all it takes to warn them, what happens then to her"

"Leon, find out when sunrise is and let Lawson know" she said as she walked out of the room

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"Listen up, sunrise is at 5.45 am, we are up and ready to leave at 5 am, we will park the cars and walk the remaining way in, looks like about 200 metres only, get some sleep if you can, Josh and I will take first watch"

"We are just going to leave Liv there another night Lawson" Nick asked in disbelief "we are here now why can't we just go in instead of leaving here there, leaving here for them to…." Unable to say the word

"Kerry's order's" Lawson replied wondering if she was making the right decision, he knew how hard it had been for her the past week, being in charge, she was the strongest woman no person he knew, confident and good at her job, but he had seen the pressure she was under with it all

"Screw Kerry, Lawson you're here now and in charge" the anger was evident in Nick's voice

"Listen Nick, I get it that you're upset, we all want to save Olivia, we don't know her like you all do, but Kerry knows what she's doing, if we go in the dark not knowing where we are going, we could get not only ourselves killed but Olivia too, I'm sorry Nick it's only a few more hours" Lawson replied "Nick the last thing we need is you going off and getting lost"

None of them got much sleep if any, each of them joining Lawson and Josh, trying to keep warm, no fire allowed snacking on chips, the minutes ticking slowly, before finally

"Ok, let's get a move on, pack up everything rubbish" Lawson ordered them, as they made their way to the hut.

"Silent approach, we park back from the hut and walk in the rest of the way, when in position click the coms twice" Lawson barked his orders to his team.

They moved stealthy towards the hut silence surround them, watching each step they took, careful not to make any noise in the still night. None of them prepared for the sight that they were about to see or the images that would be ingrained in them for a while.

The hut came into view shortly, the two cars nearby partly hidden.

This was what Stella Dagnostino was trained for, moving quietly to the hut with Michael as her back up, putting the camera eyes into place none of them realising what was about to come.

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She finally realised it was over, her waist bruised where they gripped her hard as they pulled out of her.

"What was the press conference about George?" David asked him angrily "Who is this person who did it?"

"She has no idea where you are David?"

"The phone already rang at mum's, don't worry I took it off the hook, but it is only time until they realise George, we need to move her?"

"No David, we will just kill her, and drive her body away from her, and burn this hut down, no evidence, we could leave her body here and burn it down." George replied

"No" David said angrily "I enjoy fucking her, and I'm not going to stop yet, who is the person on it, shes pretty hot"

"That's Inspector Kerry Vincent, from Tactical Response, I've kept her away from here so far, she had no idea but we can't risk it, we'll move in the morning"

"I'm going to get her, I want to fuck her until she screams, until she begs for her life, then kill her. She is going to pay for this" David replied hardness in his voice "She is going to pay if she ruins this, you need to get someone to get her. She looks hot and experienced I'm going to do her"

"David, I want to put one up her too, but we need to deal with Olivia first, and tomorrow we need to get rid of her, it's too risky now, we'll burn this down with her in It,"

There was no way David was going to let him kill Olivia, no he wanted to fuck her more and he was serious when he told her earlier that he wanted to get her pregnant, he didn't care how old she was, he had read how much she wanted a child, and this was the way he would get to her, he wasn't going to let George kill her. He would have been scared of him once and agreed but he was in control now and he wanted both Kerry and Olivia.

"Can you get Kerry George, if you get rid of Kerry we can still have fun" David replied his thoughts already going to what he would do with the person in charge and trying to ruin it all for him. _Look what happened to Olivia Inspector the same fate will happen to you if you try to get in my way he mused to himself_

"I'll get one of the boys to take care of Kerry in the morning, but first we have to deal with Olivia then we can have fun with her. Whilst we have Olivia we will make the most of it" George replied with lust in his voice

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 _ **Now the questions remains, will she be saved, will they be too late**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**This chapter has one my favourite shows which is no longer on TV, The Flying Doctors, some of you might recognise the characters**_

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"Hang on I'm coming" Daniel yelled out pulling on his jeans buttoning up his shirt

"What's going on Dan" his wife asked him sleepily

"Probably David forgetting his key again, I have no idea what the lad gets up to all night, there is no night life around here, Alice is about two hours away"

"I'm coming" he yells out as the banging on the door gets louder

"Daniel Gibson, we have warrant here to search your house, property and all surrounding areas, where's your wife" his mouth agape as Sergeant Matthew hands him the warrant pushing the door open

"She's still in bed, what's this about" he asked them confused

"Ma'am, I need you to stay with your husband over here" Cassie ordered them

"Where is your son, David Winters, Mrs Gibson" Cassie asked her

"David, I don't know I haven't seen him since two nights ago, why are you after my David" she asked confused glancing at Daniel

"We believe that David has kidnapped a NYPD Sergeant and keeping her hostage somewhere on this station, does he have a place here, somewhere he likes to go here?" Matthew asked them

"you're wrong, my David isn't like that he wouldn't hurt anyone" she cried out

"Your David has is wanted in New York for the rape and murder of 3 girls over there and the raping of another one, that Is just the start" Agent Porter kneeling down trying to keep the anger out of his voice "If he kills Sergeant Benson he will never see daylight again" he threatened her "so where is your son"

"He has a hut as you come into this property" Daniels starts

"Dan, don't please" Margi begs her husband

"I'm not losing this property Margi, as you drive in, there is a fork where the hut is, that is where he stays the surrounding area there is a lot of bush, not suitable for grazing so we don't go down there often and gave it to him" glancing at his wife who looked defeated

"Cassie, Constable Traynor, you keep Mr Gibson company" Matthew said to her

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"Cassidy, I don't want you here for this" Kerry ordered him

"I want to stay Kerry" her begged her

"You don't Brian, you have no idea what we will find, how she will be" Kerry's voice was gentle with him "Do yourself a favour, go outside, I will let you know as soon as we get her"

"Hell Cassidy, even I don't want to see this, some things you are better off seeing believe me, go and make yourself a coffee, tea, have something to eat, then bring me back a coffee"

"Kerry we are all in position, we are waiting for your word" Lawson's voice came softly through the coms

This was is, the moment would she be alive, was she too late her eyes scanning the screen not moving from them "now"

The door slammed open quickly as they all raced into the hut their guns drawn, their eyes adjusting to the dimness inside

"Police, get away"

It all happened quickly, they didn't know what had happened, David and George found themselves flung off the bed onto the floor

"You move I shoot" Stella threatened them her gun not moving from them

"Put your hands behind your back" Michael ordered them putting the cuffs on them

"Kerry we got them" Lawson's voice breaking through the coms that image would haunt him for a long while to come

Josh pulling them up roughly off the floor "your both under arrest for raping, kidnapping so many offences, you have the right to remain silent….."

"I know my bloody rights Sergeant Joshua, this is all a mistake" Sergeant Dickinson started feebly

"That you just had to have your pants down and inside of her?" controlling his anger

"Can I at least put my pants back on" he asked him

Picking up his pants throwing them to him "how am I meant to put them on with my hands tied"

"That's not my problem, figure it out, now move" he ordered them

"Your trespassing on my fathers property" David screamed at the police "Get out now, or I will have all your badges, you have no right to be here"

"You are under arrest David for kidnapping, assault, raping want me to go on of a police officer, we have every right to be here" Lawson spat at him "go through everything, don't leave anything unturned bag anything you find"

"you can't do this, get out, you can't take my things, this is my property" David yelled at them all, thrashing about

"We have a warrant to go through this whole property" Lawson spat out at them

"You admit to owning this hut" Josh asked him, his voice controlled

"OF course I do, you dumb pig this is my father's property that you have no right to be on"

"Sergeant Benson, lying on the bed like that" Lawson started

"She came on her own free will …"

"shut up David" Sergeant Dickinson yelled at him "don't say another word, we want our lawyers"

"I think you'll need them" Lawson's face close to his "Don't think for a moment that you will get away with this"

"Get them out of here" he yelled to the officers from Tennant Creek "Dom, Christian stay with them"

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She didn't want to believe it she was hallucinating she didn't hear the words "police" how she hoped she had but she was imaging it, he had been playing with her, she was dehydrated the next word "Sergeant Benson, it's the police"

She wanted to yell out but her voice was nearly gone she had no energy she tried lifting up her legs to kick the bed, she needed some energy she needed to let them know. Taking all her strength lifting her legs up thrashing out "I'm in here" trying to yell all that came out was a whisper

The image would never leave his head the moment he walked in and found his partner she looked defeated broken and a former shell of herself.

She had lost the spark out of her and her eyes were hollow and face withdrawn but still when she saw they had arrived the relief was there followed by embarrassment, he knew he well enough to know she didn't want to be seen like this, his eyes searching around putting a blanket over her "we'll get your out of here Liv"

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Her hand over her mouth, her eyes scanning each camera not able to move from the one camera that one image, something none of them would forget in a long time, her hands moving up to her eyes wiping away the tears that were starting to fall, blinking them back

Her eyes drawn to the sheet the crimson stains over it, she was alive but barely, she could see the camera filming the hut, the blood over the floor

"Kerry, we're found her, is the RFDS is nearly here. She's alive Kerry but…." he wondered if he would ever forget what he saw "we're got George Dickinson and David Winters in custody and searching the place now"

Copy that Lawson, be careful, and see if you can find the video camera and bag everything I'll get onto the RFDS"

"Kerry, we need to move her, where is the Flying Doctors, we can't lose her now" Lawson replied frustrated into his coms.

"Leon, get onto the flying doctors, see how far away and where they are going to land" Kerry ordered him.

"They are only a few minutes away Lawson"

"Copy that Kerry, we will take her to meet the plane"

"no, Laws, don't move her, the doctors said to keep her there, we have no idea what her injuries are, what internal injuries are, moving her could do more damage"

"I can't stand by and watch her die Kerry, she is weak and coming in and out of consciousness"

"Don't you dare talk like that Lawson" Kerry replied angrily "She is going to make it"

She let out the breath she had been holding for so long her head hanging it was over, or was it despite her being found she knew it was just the beginning of it all, the ordeal was just getting started

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What are you looking for? Daniel asked them

"Anything, we will be searching the property too, we are sure this isn't Daniels first time in America, how well does he know Sergeant George Dickinson?" Matthew asked them

"George everyone in Alice Springs know George, he hasn't been there for long maybe 6 months are you saying he's involved in this?" Daniel asked surprised shaking his head he shouldn't be surprised he always suspected something wasn't right

The words they had been waiting to hear coming through the coms Kerry we've found her, the relief in all of their faces, Dean could feel his legs nearly going from underneath him he wanted to be there, wanted to see how she was.

"they have found Sergeant Benson Mrs Gibson, your son is under arrest for the rape, torture and kidnapping of a NYPD Sergeant" Agent Porter spat out at her

Her body started shaking, her shoulders heaving with sobs "no, you're wrong, not David you've got the wrong person, I need to see him" she cried out

"We have the right person Mrs Gibson, I'm sorry it is your son" Matthew replied gently to her "he was caught in the hut with…Sergeant Benson"

"we need you both to accompany us to the station for questioning" Cassie said to them both

"You don't think we had something to do with this?" Daniel questioned them his arm around his wife drawing her towards him "if we had known"

"We still need you to accompany us for questions. If you want a lawyer I suggest you call one now" Matthew suggested to them escorting them out to the car

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She was battling to stay conscious, battling to keep on fighting the voices seemed so far away

"Come on Liv, you're going to be ok we're going to get you out of here, you're safe now, I've got you" Nick was trying to keep his voice soft and gentle but he was begging her to not to give up, he wanted to touch her, hold her hand but one look at her, the pain etched on her face her wrists and fingers swollen

"Nick, the flying doctors are here now" Lawson told him gently, relief evident on his face

"Nick" Olivia whispered softly struggling to breath "Kerry, they…."

"Shh Liv, don't try to talk" Nick said gently

"No… Nick…. You need to warn Kerry" she started

"Liv" Lawson asked her gently "Kerry's ok"

"No…. Kerry…. You need to tell her… she….. they want her….." Olivia struggled to say

"It's ok Liv" Nick said his eyes moving up to Lawson

"Please ….. You need to tell her" Liv begged grabbing his hand

"Olivia, I'll let her know

"Olivia, I'm Doctor Standish, we are going to get you out of here shortly" his hands gently touching over her body as she winced at his touch

"Sam, bring the stretcher over now, we need to load her" The doctor told the pilot standing near by "Kate, I will need a drip set up on the plane"

"We need to get her out of here, back on the plane, at the moment we plan to fly her to Alice Springs Hospital but she might be forwarded onto Adelaide depending upon her injuries" the doctors voice commanding barking out orders "Where's the car now" yelling out

"I want to go with her, she needs someone with her after this, she can't be by herself, if she wakes up ….." Amaro pleads with the doctor

"one person only, get ready to go now" his eyes moving away from Olivia to Lawson "we need to get back to the airstrip, as quick as possible we need to avoid sudden movement"

"Lawson, I need two of you at least to remain at that hut, it is not to be left unattended at ANY time during this" Kerry ordered them

"She's in the best hands now, the RFDS know what they are doing, she will be in Alice Springs in about 30 minutes" Lawson replies his voice tinged with emotion "Dom and Cassie, go back with Dean and the those two, Christian take Fin and Captain Cragen to Alice Springs, we will finish here"

Each person lost in their own thought watching as Olivia is loaded onto the plane the noise of the propellers, their heads bowed as the plane takes off into the sky circling above them before heading back to Alice Springs

Keeping his head lowered Fin was blinking back the tears, not known to ever cry but even after 5 days with Lewis he hadn't seen Olivia like this, Sealview he had saved her just in time, he doubted he would ever get the images out of his head seeing her lying there, being wheeled out his eyes were drawn to the bed, the big crimson stain on the sheets "hang in there Liv, you can do it" he whispered to himself

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His head fell to the desk the relief evident not even realising he had been holding his breath Liv was alive, Liv was alive

"Amaro Capt how is Liv" Brian asked his voice anxious trying to control his emotions

"Brian" Don faltered unable to continue "she is alive" is all he could manage to say the sight of her etched in his mind for ever, how fragile bruised and battered she was, her face purple her "they are taking her to the hospital shortly, she's in the plane now"

"Let me speak to her, damn it Kerry I need to speak to Liv" he screamed in frustration

"Brian, let them do their job out there" her voice was gentle, she could see it in his eyes his love for her, how much it was tearing him apart her hands on his shoulders "she needs medical assistance urgently, I will take you to the hospital as soon as she has landed, letting her get all the help now is what matters, once she is settled in the plane, I will see if you can talk to her then, I'm not making any promises Brian"

"Kerry" Lawson's voice coming through the coms "The plane has taken off, and Dom and Cassie are going back to Alice with the NYPD group, Michael and Stella are cordoning the area now, did you want us to bring them in or wait for the Territory Police"

"I want you to bring both of them in, I'm getting police from Tennant Creek and Katherine to come down to help you" her voice low "I'm not trusting anyone from this department with this, with Sergeant Dickinson arrested I want all of this done by the book, no evidence going missing, nothing being tampered with, send Christian and Matt back with those two as well and the rest wait there and up at the house, I'm sorry Lawson I know it has been a while, I'll get the others to spend the night here and replace you in the morning, have the area cordoned off, search the hut, I want that video camera found, I don't want the Alice springs police near it or inside the hut at any time" she ordered

Her head was in her hands rubbing her eyes the image she had seen so much in her time in the police especially during Tactical Response but this, this was something she didn't have to deal with. She didn't know Olivia Benson but she would never get the images out of her head as Lawson and Stella went into the house securing it the blood stained sheets, restraints on the bed.

Exhaustion from the previous days the tears flowing down her face her Kerry Vincent was crying, was it finally over.

"you okay Kerry" Leon asked tentatively walking over putting his hand on her shoulder, he could see her shoulders shaking

"I'm fine Leon, just give me a minute" wiping the tears away "let me know when Olivia has landed and Matt is on his way back"

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 _He's alive, I don't know how_ how could something so awful happen to someone so wonderful as Olivia not once but twice the images from here and the beach house would they ever leave Fin's mind. He would never forget seeing her lying there with just a top on, being wheeled out on the stretcher she was weak the look on her face he had never seen it before he eyes were hollow and blank she had given up.

In all his fourteen years of working with Olivia, the bruises on her head the cuts on her arm but the worse was the blood all over the sheet the blood pooled, he had worked in special victims long enough to know that his precious Olivia had been raped, he wanted to kill that sonofabitch do something anything to him, watching him walk out of the hut clenching and unclenching his fists it took all of his self control not to hit him,

"I could of killed him, I so wanted to kill him" he mumbled

"We all did Fin, I think we all could of" Porter whispered

"we can't let our emotions get away with us here, we need to let the police do their job here and just hope that it is enough" Don replied to the group, he had to keep a level head yet again Olivia shaking his head he couldn't think of it "she is strong she will pull through"

"yes Capt, how could a Sergeant do that to her be involved in it all" Fin sighs

"We all just have to be here for Olivia, she will have a long road ahead of her, she might not recover from it physically and/or emotionally" Don replied to his team could she come back again from something even worse than the first time

"Liv is a fighter Capt, she won't give up" the protectiveness in Fin's voice and full of hope

Don Cragen could only hope, but he wondered if she would ever come back from this, she was only starting to see glimpses of the Liv he used to know but he had changed then and probably even more now.

Olivia was like a daughter he had nearly lost her once he couldn't lose her again, she was a fighter the sight of her being wheeled out of the hut she was weak, fragile she was not the Olivia that he knew the look in her eyes, the fight and hope had gone from them, replaced with pain and dispair, all he could see was the pain she was in, the pain and torture she had endured, seven days of it, seven whole days before they found her and even now was it enough, did they get to her in time.

"I should of done something" he whispered so softly to himself, but even as he said it he knew he couldn't he had trusted and sent her off to do a job, a job that nearly cost her her life.

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"Lawson, I found the camera" Stella called out to him

"I found some tapes" Michael called out "some are labelled Olivia, others aren't, Olivia good times"

"Michael carefully bag them all" Kerry ordered

"Kerry we found the video camera" Lawson replied, shaking his head the images still there "you ….you don't want to see them, he recorded nearly everything he did to her, you have all the evidence you need there" his voice shaky with emotion "she was…" wiping the tears from his eyes "I don't know how she survived" his voice barely a whisper

She could see the images through Lawson's lapel camera, the gang rape hearing Olivia scream, beg for them to stop as they only got rougher with her "I want everyone one of those officers held accountable for, Lawson send through the faces of those officers, I'm going to hunt them down and have them all arrested" the anger was in her voice

She barely made it to the bathroom, the contents of her lunch thrown into the toilet _the images stay with you forever_ she whispered to herself they stay in your mind she wondered if she would ever forget what she saw, the screaming, the begging, pleading she couldn't watch it the disgust she felt at the so called police

The thought sent her running to the toilet again _she survived, she survived that she can get through this how could anyone do that_

Tears were streaming down Kerry's face the tough police officer gone "I should of found her sooner, I let her down, I'm sorry Olivia" she whispered she could of done more somehow got to her sooner. How could anyone recover and get over that

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The door of the plane was closed quickly as Olivia was strapped in, Nick wanted to hold her hand to let her know he was there, her face and body etched in pain, how could someone do this to her, why again did someone assault his partner, she didn't deserve it once let alone twice

"Detective, sit on the chair over there" Sister Kate Wellings instructed him

"she's going to be ok isn't she, now that she is here,

if you want to talk to her, let her know you are here, it would help her"

"Please tell me Doctor, how she is, she'll be ok now you've got her" he asked distraught

"She is in a bad way, she is in a critical condition, until we get her to hospital and do x rays, and scans we don't know the extent of her damage, she has severe trauma and tearing where she was assaulted, from the bruising and look she might have internal damage, broken bones, fracture ribs. She is in a bad way, we are doing everything we can for her. Now we just need to stabilise her as best as we can and get her to the hospital as quickly as possible"

"Geoff" Kate called out softly "her heart rate is becoming tachycardia, her pulse is weak and thready"

"We're not going to lose her" Geoff whispered "get the resus on standby"

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He had been staring at the screen blankly all he could see was the crimson stain on the sheet in that moment he knew that one image had showed him more than words ever could, the relief he felt that she had been saved that she would now be ok, was short lived.

He had seen her, he had seen enough to know she was weak she was alive but barely he wanted to speak to her he wanted to tell her so much.

His head in his hands, his head bowed biting his lips the image of seeing her void of life, her hanging on by a thread she had given up hope, she had given up living the sobs coming from deep inside of him, he had wanted her to open up about Lewis but after seeing this, she was telling him the truth she was protecting him from it all, he had taken so much from her

"Brian" Leon's voice was louder now, he could see he was broken the past days had taken its toll on him

"Brian" Leon's voice bringing him out of his thoughts "I can put you through to plane now, she is stabilised but in a critical condition"

"Liv, Liv babe it's me Brian, you're … safe now and its… going to be ok, I'll meet you at the hospital" he stuttered unable to put words together "you are going to pull through Liv you are" you have to I can't imagine my life without you he whispered softly to himself

Brian" Nick's voice came clearly through the headphone the worry was evident "she has been given pain killers, she's….. she's in a bad way they are doing….. they are doing everything they can" his voice breaking up "she can hear you, she is barely conscious but she's still with us Brian she's hanging up Liv is a fighter"

He didn't want to let go of her hand stroking it gently holding onto her, wanting to squeeze and push his life into her, he wanted her to know he was there, her whole squad was there willing her to pull through.

He could hear Brian's words through the head set, feeling like he was intruding between them the anguish and love in his voice, the worry but the one thing he knew for sure was how much Brian loved her despite their differences his love had gotten her through before and would need again.

His eyes had moved to the nurse watching intently as she moved about efficiently and quickly he could tell by the look on her face that something was happening, was worrying her "what's going on here?" he was trying to remain calm

"Detective, I will need you to move over here"

"Nick what is happening" Brian's worried and panicked voice coming through the head phones "Nick' calling out his name louder

"I don't know Cassidy, I don't" he voice panic stricken "shit, the alarms in the machines are now starting to go off"

"Liv" Brian yelled out "No Liv, don't do this I love you, come on Liv… Nick"

Nick's eyes were on Olivia not moving as the doctor quickly comes through, he felt helpless wanting to help wanting to do something, shake her, tell her not to give up that she doesn't dare die on them but words were failing him

"Talk to me, what is happening. She still….." unable to finish the sentence her eyes moving up to the sky "please let her live, please let her be okay, please" begging, pleading praying anything for her to pull through for her to live

He didn't want to look at the doctor or nurse for fear of what he would see, pity, sympathy his head hung down the tears streaming down his face unable to watch them work on her


	17. Chapter 17

_**I am sorry it has taken so long, was trying to write this chapter.**_

 _ **Thank you so much for the reviews for each chapter it has given me the push to continue writing this story so thank you very much.**_

 _ **Now she has been saved the battle is on to save her, will she pull through**_

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"Leon, where's Kerry" Lawson's worried voice came through the coms

"She has just left the desk briefly" Leon replied

"Where is she Leon" Lawson demanded hoping what Olivia said was nothing

"I think she went to the bathroom, what's going on Lawson" Leon asked him

"It could be nothing" how he hoped he was right "Send Cassidy or someone to check on her now" he ordered him

Leon glanced at Cassidy his face still in shock, waiting to hear back from the Flying Doctors, wondering if he was in any state to go anywhere

"I'll see what I can do Lawson, Cassidy, he's not…"

"Leon" Lawson warned his voice raising "Kerry could be in danger, get someone to her NOW"

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Kerry opened the door to the bathroom glancing around, she couldn't get the image out of her head when they stormed into the hut, was she too late, could she have done more. It was her Inspector Kerry Vincent in charge of the investigation, had she left it too late, could she have done more to find her.

Resting her head in her hands, before running her hands down her face she still had to be strong, she just had to have hope she wasn't too late. Deep in her own thoughts, she didn't hear the door opening quietly, or the footsteps as they walked up behind her standing a short distance away his eyes darting around the room, she had made it easy for him not turning the lights on. The silhouette of her body he could just make out with her head bowed as he stood close behind her.

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He wanted to tell her she was going to be ok, he was here for her but he wasn't able to he had no idea if she was going to be ok, how she was going to be after all of this, how it would affect them, how he would cope with it, and if she would come back from it. She had to be ok

How as Leona going to ask Cassidy his eyes moving around there was no one else he trusted around, they were caught so why was Kerry in trouble, the urgency of Lawson's voice

"Brian" he said gently trying to bring him back to the present

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She didn't hear or feel it coming all she felt was the sharp stab in her arm before an arm wrapped around her neck dragging her off the seat.

Her eyes looking around in feat, kicking her feet out, she was trying to fight but she felt her arms and legs going weak, what was happening to her. She tried to kick out, tried to dig her heels in as she was dragged towards the shower.

"don't worry Kerry, this won't take long but it is something you won't forget in a hurry" he whispered in her ear.

Her eyes moved up to his face, all she could see was his eyes, the rest hidden by a balaclava. She didn't want to show fear in her eyes but she could feel herself start to tremble, she didn't like not being in control and at the moment she was anything but in control

"Don't worry Inspector, you're wondering what's happened, we are going to have some fun, you want to scream, kick out but your can't. It will wear off eventually" he whispered as he started to pull her trousers off.

Just to be safe, he put the tape across her mouth "we don't want your screaming, that could disturb our time together" as he kissed her on hard on the lips as she tried to whimper

She could feel his hands moving up her body, freezing as they stopped roughly pulling down her underpants, she wanted to struggle but she couldn't, her eyes looking up at him in confusion, she wanted to ask why?

"the question is Kerry, do I want you to remember all of this, thinking about it day in day out, wondering how you would of fought back but couldn't, remembering each thing that was done to you" he mused more to himself as he undid his zipper "or do I want you to forget wondering what happened, thinking about what happened but not knowing"

His pants fell to the ground as his hands fumbled with the condom "which one would your prefer"

She could feel her heart beating faster, her breathing becoming rapid she wanted to scream, to fight to do anything but she couldn't do anything but lie on the floor.

She could feel his hardened member at her entrance, her eyes begging him not to do it "I've wanted to do this for so long Kerry, lie back and enjoy it" he sneered at her

She felt her breathe stop as he forced his way inside of her, she wanted to scream as he thrusted back and forth forcibily. His hands grabbed her waist hard, with each thrust she felt his hand dig into her side,

Kerry started to tune out, to think of anything else she had done stupid things in the past, Boyd. She had to focus, she was going to catch this bastard if it was the last thing she did.

"Fuck this is good" he cried out as he thrusted in and out "you enjoying it to Kerry, oh I knew you would be good"

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"Brian" heard his name called out by Leon bringing him back to the present his gaze moving to Leon

"Sorry Brian, Lawson is wondering if you can check on Kerry"

"What's wrong, where is she?' he asked looking around the office

"She left a while ago" Leon said realising it was a while ago "she should be back by now"

"I'll go and find her" he said getting off the chair

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"As much as I wish this could go much longer, we might need to end it soon, it's not fair though that you haven't had an orgasm" he laughed his mouth moving down to her clit licking, sucking it as his hands moved up her shirt, grabbing, twisting her breasts roughly and hard. Kerry wanted to scream and kick but she was powerless to do anything. She didn't want to show any sign of weakness, her eyes staring at him defiantly.

"Kerry" Brian called out as he tried to open the door to the change room, the door wouldn't open, his mind a whirlwind of emotions he wondered if it was kept locked "a key" he mumbled to himself "where is the key"

"Kerry if you're in there, can you let me know you're ok" he called out "the door's lock"

She wanted to call out, scream kick or anything, she looked up into his eyes as he brought on finger up indication to her to be quiet "Shh" he whispered "not that you could really talk"

Her shoulders sagged as she heard Brian walk away. She was feeling defeated as the look of glee on his face "Guess he's not going to save you" he gloated at her.

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Olivia was quickly loaded off the plane onto the stretcher and quickly loaded into the ambulance, Nick's face still full of worry "She's going to be ok now she's in hospital" he asked Doctor Standish

"she still has a long way to go, we have to get her xrayed and possibly operated on her, it looks like she has internal bleeding and goodness know what else" the doctor replied hurriedly

"Kate, I want full bloods, and get the xray ready" he barked orders to the nurses around

"Nick, its just waiting now, its hard I know but she's in good hands now, we have the plane on standby in case she needs to be flown to the specialist hospital in Adelaide" Kate told him softly "She's gotten this far she's not going to give up now"

He felt so hopeless as he watched Olivia wheeled away, her body battered and bruised, broken bones, a shell of her former self

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"The fun needs to come to an end" he replied sadly to Kerry "Won't be long before someone will be back again but …. You know what time for one last bit of fun"

She looked horrified as he roughly put his hand on her head and pushed her to the ground, his fist grabbing her hair yanking her head back roughly.

Her eyes opened wide in horror as she saw his penis held in his hand, as he brings it closer to her mouth "Open wide now Kerry" he teased her

She wanted to shake her head, keep her mouth closed but yet she was still powerless as if in slow motion he brought it closer to her mouth "Be a good girl and I mightn't get you to swallow"

One hand still roughly yanking her head back as he forced it into his mouth, she wanted to gag as he pushed it further into her mouth moving about

"That feels so good doesn't it Kerry" he moaned pushing it in and out of her mouth, forcing it as far into her mouth as it would go.

He roughly pulled it out of her mouth as he pushed her back as she fell onto the floor hitting her head against the tiles. Leaning over her "I think I will let you remember this, how helpless you felt, how it felt with me inside of you, wishing you could do something" he sneered.

"Leon, the change room key, where it is" Brian asked him

He looked up at Brian confused "There is not key, it's not locked"

"You sure" Brian asked him,

Nodding his head "you sure you went to the change room"

"Shit" Brian called out as he sprinted back

"Kerry" she heard Brian call out again, as he slammed the door forcibly trying to get in.

"Drink this" he demanded Kerry, laughing as he grabbed her head roughly as he poured the water down her throat, trying to rinse out the trace of him in her mouth.

"not that you had much choice, actually better still" he sneered grabbing the bottle of alcohol putting it to her lips, forcing it down her throat as she spluttered as he forced her to drink it. "That's the good girl"

He held up the bottle, pouring some over her "We all know that Kerry Vincent has had a drinking problem, really thing they will believe you know" he sneered leaning down closer to her, grabbing her head pouring the rest down her throat

She watched as he wiped the bottle, ensuring his fingerprints were off it, before carefully putting it in her hand "they'll just think you had too much to drink again, you know all this with Olivia is so stressful for you"

"Looks like I better be going the door isn't going to last much longer, don't forget our time together" he laughed as he leaned over her turning the taps on pushing her under the water, washing away the evidence.

He casually unlocked the other door, looking around as he heard the door open and Brian running in.

"Kerry" Brian called out again, hearing a moaning from the cubicle racing over "oh shit" as he quickly turned off the tap leaning down, putting his hand gently under her head, he could smell the alcohol coming from her breath and over her.

"let's get you out of this shower, we need to get you to a hospital" he replied quietly as he wrapped a towel around her. He had worked in SVU long enough to know what had happened to her, despite the smell of alcohol her pants were on the ground away from her.

Her blue eyes looking up at Brian, she didn't see pity in his eyes but concern as she whispered "I'm fine, just give me a few minutes"

"I'm taking you to the hospital Kerry, no questions. You need to be checked out and….."

"no" she replied fiercely "I don't need to be checked out, I just need a little while and I'll be fine"

"I can guess what happened here, no one needs to know, I can just get you out and to the hospital, I'm going there anyway to check on Liv. You can't let them get away with this Kerry, you need tests done a " he told her gently

"I'll go to the hospital but not a word of this to anyone" she warned him "I need to get changed"

"just make sure you take those clothes, and don't have a shower"

"I think I know what to do" she snapped at him rolling her eyes at him "I'm fine" as she got up unsteadily on her feet, falling into his arms"

"I'll just let Leon know that we're off to the hospital" Brian said the worry still in his eyes

"Not a word of this Brian, I mean it. I don't want anyone to know" Kerry said firmly.

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She could see Brian's eyes glancing at her concern in them "I'm fine Brian, you go and see Olivia I'll be ok"

"I have only known you a short period Kerry but some how I don't think you will go and be checked out, I'm going in with you" he laughed

"you need to Kerry, if we have any chance of catching them, you need to get tested, you need to find out who did this"

"I don't need a test, we'll.."

"you know who did this don't you Kerry" Brian interrupted her "you can't take this into your own hands, you need Lawson to go after who ever did this"

"Just leave it Brian" she replied firmly as they pulled up at the hospital "just go and see Olivia"

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"Olivia, where is she, is she ok" he couldn't keep the worry and panic from his voice

"Mr Cassidy" ushering him away "Olivia is in a stable but critical condition she has broken ankle and leg, broken wrist, broken fingers, fractured ribs, concussion, she has burns over her body "

Hanging his head blinking back the tears he didn't want the doctor to go on, did he want to know more what torture did that monster put her through

"we need to do some scans and xrays to see what internal damage has been done, her knee is swollen and until the swelling goes down and we are able to do scans we do not know to what extent or if she will be able to walk or run properly on it again"

All he could do was nod "but she's going to pull through" his voice was nearly pleading

"until we know the full extent of her injuries I can not make any promises Mr Cassidy, what she has been through, she is on very lucky lady to have made it this far, she has extreme trauma Mr Cassidy Olivia was raped and sodomised repeatedly, she has severe tearing down there she has been put in a medically induced coma to help her recovery, the assault was one of the worse we have come across"

His hand moving over his eyes and face how he had hoped she had been spared but seven days he had her for seven days his eyes moving up to the doctor "Can I see her?"

"I will get the nurse to come and see you once we have her settled, I'm sorry the news couldn't of been better but for the time being Olivia is alive and fighting, she is in a stable condition but that could change"

He just had to see her that was all that mattered that Olivia was alive the rest he would deal with they would deal with later

"Mr Cassidy, I'll take you to see Ms Benson now"

The walls were so white and stark machines everywhere he didn't know what to expect what to see, as the curtains were drawn back his eyes were drawn to the bed to the figure on the bed lying there with machines hooked up to her beeping away.

He didn't know what he expected but it wasn't this "am I able to hold her hand "her stuttered softly

She looked so weak, fragile and small nothing like the Olivia he knew the one that was full of life, knowing what she wanted

Clasping her hand not wanting to let it go "I'm so sorry Liv" choking back the tears threatening to fall he held her hand tightly "I am so so sorry" his head falling to the bed the tears falling freely

He wiped the tears away with his other hand before gently touching her bruised forehead tenderly "what did that monster do to you babe"

Sniffling back the tears his eyes not moving from the bed she meant more to him that he ever thought "I can't imagine you not being in my life Liv, these past few months have been the happiest best months, moving in together we both have been so happy" he whispered through choked sobs "you need to fight Liv, I know that is probably all you've been doing the past week but please babe just fight again now, there are so many people here who love you and want you to pull through, Capt is still here, Fin, Nick even the Northern Territory police have been asking after you I know you can do it again Liv, please babe you have to pull through, I don't know what I would do without you not now that we have found each other again" whispering to her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

She watched the Taxi drive away, she had stood outside the hospital for ages before finally going in, after finding about Olivia, she knew she had to do it. She knew the bastard who did it, but she needed the proof. She had discharged herself the affects of the alcohol still there, but she couldn't stay in, she needed to be back here.

"Kerry" hearing her name called, turning around

"Lawson, you back" she asked slightly confused

"you alright" he asked her concerned

"what have you found" she asked him wanting to get her mind off what had happened to her, he was never going to find out, no one was that she had been assaulted.

"Leon I need you to download this" handing him carefully the SD card

"This the camera from the hut?" Leon asked he didn't want to see the images on it

"Just do it Leon" she barked at him "I want it backed up to our computer only, I'm not taking any chances here, let me know when it's done, I'm off to the hospital don't let anyone pick that card up, no one Leon"

"I'll be on my phone if you need be, I'm going to the hospital I'm personally going to look after those DNA kits" she yelled out to him grabbing her bag

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo

She flinched at the touch a touch that was different it only meant one thing the touch when soft and gentle he would bring her to a climax before brutally entering her again.

"Liv, Olivia" the words sounded so far away

"Liv, Liv" she knew that voice

"No" he could hear the panic in her voice

She opened her eyes afraid and disorientated not able to recognise her surroundings where she was

"you're awake" the doctor said in the most gentlest voice she could manage

Moving away from her fear and panic in her eyes, her eyes darting around the room everything unfamiliar, light shining through the window, her breathing was shaky her shoulders heaving with each breath

"Where am I, please don't take me back there, am I safe" her voice a frightened whisper as her body shook and trembled.

Her hand gripping the sheet drawing it up under her chin tears filling her eyes "please don't let take me back there"

"I promise you, you are safe here, no one can hurt you, you are in hospital now" the doctor replied trying to soothe her

"Hospital? ….. I….. how" the confusion in her voice as her body started shaking wrapping the blankets around her

"How did they find me, why" the tears streaming down her face the ordeal was over, she was safe wasn't she

"Liv" the emotion in his voice, tears pouring down his face the relief he felt that she was here awake and safe

"Can I…. " wrapping his arms gently around her pulling her into his arms, she broke into a hard wretched sob as she clung tight to him "Liv, I thought…. "

"Brian" she cried weakly unable to believe her eyes that her mind wasn't playing a cruel trick on her "you're really here, it isn't a dream"

Nodding as the tears fall from his eyes "it's not a dream babe, you are here in hospital no one is going to hurt you now" he soothed as he rocked her "its okay babe I've got you he can't hurt you now" he promised her as she clung tighter to him, as he held her just as tight

When the door opened again Nick, Fin, Don and Porter stepped inside their faces flooded with tears, she was alive, she was in a bad state but she was here safe and alive and for the time being that was all that mattered

His lips finding the top of her head pushing her hair gently away from her head his touch tender her face swollen and bruised "Liv, Capt, Fin and Nick are here"

Inching there way forward relief in their eyes, her hand clinging to Brian's unable to let go "you're all really here" unable to believe that the ordeal and nightmare was really over that she was safe in the hospital bed

"We're here for you Liv" Nick answered her, his voice full of emotion memories coming back from seeing her in the hospital bed months earlier bloodied and bruised a shell of her former self.

"they found me, where's David and Dickinson" her voice starting to panic would they find her again, would they take her again

"It's okay Liv, you are safe now, they can't hurt you anymore, both of them are taken into custody and they won't make bail. They are also arresting the others" Don replied his voice shakily the others, Inspector Vincent had told him about it he didn't want to see the tapes but the thought made him sick.

Her eyes moving slowly up to look at her captain "they got them all?" her voice questioned him shakily unable to believe it

"Yep Liv, David & Dickinson" Fin replied smiling at her "you did well"

Her whole body shook trembling as her the tears flooding her, letting out a gut wrenching sob that were nearly screams as Brian held her tightly stroking her hair "it's going to be ok babe, I got you, I promise you"


	18. Chapter 18

_**I'm trying to get better with updating sorry and hoped to have this up earlier but had to write a lot of it as it had many missing pieces and added more. The next one is nearly written so will try to get up more I'm sorry. There is still quite a few more chapters to go**_

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"Kerry" Leon called out to her motioning her over "I've traced the phones, it seems 8 of them tried to warn him, some panicked with quick message some tried to call him, I've got a list"

"you got all the text messages, and phone logs yeah" Kerry asked him

"You have no faith Kerry" he joked

"Leon" she warned him

"I have them all Kerry, every text message sent from their mobile we have on file, all phone calls logged to his phone" he said

"on file….. see if you can find any other phones linked to theirs, home phone, internet anything, they all knew yeah"

 _She had made sure Olivia was loaded onto the plane and their phones were taken off them before she called a meeting._

" _ok guys, we have located Olivia, TR are heading out there now. They should be out there in a few hours, I'll let you know once she has been found but his is good news"_

" _Do you need us to help Inspector?" Senior Constable Raynor asked her_

" _At the moment no we think he is by himself, but stay close and we will let you know"_

 _Her gaze went over each of them trying to see a change in any of them._

" _Don't go anywhere guys, a briefing will happen later tonight and I'll let you all know once she is back here"_

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She knocked loudly on the door, she hadn't told Lawson anything much but she was going to get them all each one of them. She didn't need a DNA or anything to tell her who had raped her.

"hello" the door eventually opened

"Jeremy Watson, where is he" Kerry demanded showing her police badge to her forcing her way inside

"Who are you?"

"I'm inspector Kerry Vincent and this is Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake from Tactical Response up in Darwin, you are?" Kerry asked her

"Erica West, I'm his partner, why are you wanting Jeremy?" she asked confused

"Where is he?" Lawson asked her

"He's not here, you should know where he is"

"What do you mean?" Kerry asked getting annoyed

"I can't say" she said looking at Kerry in his eyes quickly before shifting her gaze

 _She saw him in the bedroom throwing his clothes quickly into a suitcase_

" _What's going on Jer" she asked him confused_

 _He turned around as if to see her for the first time "I have to go babe, I have been chosen to go undercover, it's a secret mission at the last minute"_

" _how long will you be away for" she asked him already missing him_

 _His hands tenderly moving her blonde hair away from her eyes, staring intently into them "if anyone asks babe, tell them you don't know anything. People will try to get you to tell them but don't say anything. I mean it Erica" he said firmly_

 _Nodding "I won't Jer I won't say a thing" she promised him_

 _He loved her, but boy was she dumb she would believe anything he said to her. She was gorgeous and he was lucky but brains, she was besotted with him, he was pretty sure of that._

" _I'll try to call you when I can babe" kissing her, he was going to miss her especially in the bedroom but he had to get away at least until all of this was over. Did Kerry, know it was him, would they find out he had sex with Olivia, he couldn't risk it, he wasn't going to jail, and when it died down if he missed her, he would get Erica otherwise he would find some other girl who believe anything he said._

" _I'll let you know where I leave the car, you can pick it up, but remember babe, not a word, you know nothing" he hands firmly on her shoulders_

 _As he drove away his mind went back to fucking Kerry, he deleted the message on his phone "I need you to get Kerry, give her a time she'll never forget and make sure she doesn't remember a thing. Fuck her hard and rough"_

 _It was easier than he though and he actually enjoyed it, she was better than he though and he would of loved to continue plunging into her, but he had to go. He had heard she had a drinking problem or loved a drink so he tipped the bottle over her, let them think she was fucking drunk. He needed to go just in case he was found._

"Erica, I will take you down to the station and charge you for hindering an investigation if you don't tell me where he is" Kerry threatened her

"you're all the same, he said you would try to get me to tell you, well I won't" she said defiantly looking at Kerry in the eyes.

Kerry wanted to scream "Jeremy is wanted for the raping of a police officer"

Erica laughed "You are joking, you really expect me to believe that and who is this police officer"

"Erica, we have proof that he raped a NYPD detective" Lawson said gently

"He's never been to New York, now you really have the wrong guy" she said going to close the door

"I don't have the wrong guy, this boyfriend of yours that you are protecting is a rapist. You have no idea what you are involved in. You either tell us where he is, or I will arrest you. You understand" Kerry said angrily

"Seriously you expect me to believe Jeremy raped a officer in New York, he's never been overseas. Who else are you going to say he has raped" Erica laughed

"me" Kerry yelled at her instantly regretting her outburst

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Relief was what Brian felt but looking at Olivia even sleeping she could tell her mind was plagued by nightmares he body shaking, crying out "no" before going back to a deep sleep again.

He gently moved her hair away from her face stroking her forehead, he was going to be here for her no matter what.

"its going to be ok babe" he said softly his lips gently kissing the top of her head.

"how's she going" Fin asked poking his head into the room

"she's asleep now"

"That's good, let us know if you need a break" Fin said to him, he could see how tired Brian was

"I'm not going anywhere I'm going to stay here"

"you'll be no good to her Cassidy tired, you need a break too"

"I can't Fin, I can't leave her. I need to be with her, I need to be here when she wakes up"

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Lawson had a look of shock on his face, he had so many questions he wanted to ask her, when, where and angrily why hadn't anyone protected her.

She could see Erica looking at her, yes she was hot but "you want me to believe that he raped you… you're old! As if" she said in disbelief

"Erica West, you are under arrest, and need to accompany us to the police station" Kerry said as Lawson handcuffed her, leading her to the car.

The whole way back to the station she could feel Lawson's eyes on her, the unanswered questions he was wanting to ask "don't Lawson" she said softly to him "I don't want to talk about it. It happened"

"I'm sorry" he replied quietly

"Don't, don't you dare apologise, it happened" she said angrily

Leon felt Lawson's hand on his shirt pulling him up off his seat "how could you let it happen" he yelled at the intel officer

"What are you talking about" Leon stammered trying to get out of his grip

"Kerry, how could you of let her get attacked" he yelled "I asked you to get Brian to check on her"

"I did, Brian" he faltered "he wasn't in the best frame of mind straight away, but he went there …. That's why he quickly went to the hospital with her saying nothing. I didn't know Lawson"

He pushed him back on the chair, he knew it wasn't his fault but he wanted to blame someone at the moment, he should of protected her especially when he was told that they wanted her.

"Lawson" Kerry called out angrily she should of known better "What was that about"

"I think you should sit this interview out Kerry" he said to her

"I'm in there Lawson and there is nothing you can do to stop it" she said storming into the room

"I'll ask you one more time Erica, where is Jeremy" Kerry demanded leaning in close to her

"AS I said before I don't know" she replied forcefully maintaining her gaze

Kerry threw down the photos onto the table, opening the up for Erica to see, she could see her smile faltering before she looked up at them "What did you do photo shop them?"

"This is your boyfriend Erica" putting more photos in front of her, "raping Detective Benson, this went on for 8 hours, we have the video, want to see that to?" Kerry said her face inches from her

"if you know where he is Erica, you need to let us know otherwise you will be charged as an accomplice" Lawson replied gently

Her eyes kept going down to those photos, did he actually do that, no they were trying to trick her, he loved her, he would never do that to her, to anyone. NO they wanted Jeremy, they wanted to get to Jeremy. "no, he said you would try to trick me"

"Ok" Kerry said pressing the play button on the recorder, her eyes moving to Erica

"Keep your eyes opened and on the screen, you need to watch this" Kerry told her

"Turn it off" Erica screamed "why are you doing this, why are you showing me this, it isn't Jeremy no"

"Watch it" Kerry warned her "watch every part of it, couldn't you satisfy him"

Kerry leaned closer to her "This is what your boyfriend and others did to Olivia ALL night, now again tell me where he is" she said angrily

She didn't want to believe that her boyfriend could do this, she felt sick watching it "I don't know honestly I don't, he didn't tell me where he is going. He said he would call me. He packed up some of his things"

"If we find out that you know where he is, you will be charged" Lawson warned her

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Nightmares every time she closed her eyes she was back there, back at the beach house back at the hut, jolting her awake again her body shaking with fear, terrified.

There was no amount of comfort that anyone could offer that was helping her each time her eyes closed it all came back, sometimes she woke up screaming, her arms wrapped around her body rocking back and forth until exhaustion set in and she feel asleep only to wake up again.

Brian turned to Nick and Fin the helplessness they felt unable to help her, as another nightmare jolted her awake this one worse than the others flooding her mind she was back there, they hadn't found her she had given birth to a baby girl

 _Please help me, she begged as she screamed trying to push the baby out. I can't do it_

" _Shut up you fuckin bitch" David screamed at her as another contraction ripped through her body._

 _She was tiring from the pushing her hands trying to grab anything she could to help with the pain._

" _just give me that boy, you better hope that it isn't a girl, but then when it's older" he mulled to himself "now just keep on pushing that baby out of your pussy you whore, when I come back it better be here"_

 _It seemed like hours since the first contraction hit her, before becoming more intense, she didn't want this baby out, she would never see it grow up, it would live with him. She had grown close to the baby patting her stomach in the 9 months since she found out she was pregnant._

 _With one final push she felt it slip out of her, cradling her to her body she was perfect a daughter. She had what she wanted "you're so perfect and beautiful" she cried softly to her_

 _She had no idea how long she lay there with her daughter in her arms stroking her face, just taking in every feature of her, she didn't hear the door open as David walked in_

 _She cried out as he reached for her "a girl, you couldn't even get that right you fuckin stupid bitch" he screamed at her, slapping her hard across the face_

" _George will be happy, he can have a girl, imagine all those things he could and would do to her" he tormented her "especially as she grows"_

" _until the time he comes back, I'll give you your daughter, but in the meantime I want that son, so lets start trying again" as he tossed her on the bed as she screamed as he entered her, sore and weak from giving birth "please David, I've just given birth, don't do it"_

" _Shut up, or you'll never hold that daughter of yours again" he threatened her as his hands gripped her waist painfully._

 _It was only a few days she had her daughter mesmerising each feature, her small fist closing around her finger. She couldn't get enough of her, she wanted to keep her, she begged David to let her look after her, to let her feed her._

 _She spent each day with her in her arms, unable to let go, unable to stop looking at her._

" _Say goodbye Olivia, you'll never see her again" George sneered at her pulling her out of her arms_

" _No…. please don't do this" she screamed "give me back my baby, please give her back"_

 _She tried to reach out to get her, to bring her back "don't do this, she doesn't deserve any of this" she begged them_

" _You'll never see her again Olivia, she'll be taken real good care off, especially if she is anything like her mother, a real star" George teased her_

" _no, please don't do this" she sobbed hysterically as the door closed behind him "give me back my daughter"_

"no, please don't, no" she screamed out waking up with a sudden jolt, her eye searching the room frantically as Brian arms engulfed her pulling her closer to him as she clung to him screaming and crying as Fin, Nick and Don watched in disbelief at what they were seeing, the woman that was so strong and in control, broken and terrified.

Brian carefully hopped on the bed holding her tight, not letting her go, sending the others back to the apartment, he wasn't letting go of her not now not ever. He sat on the bed his arms around her all night whilst she slept, the images going through his head

" _the images never leave you, they stay in your head"_ why didn't he believe her each time he tried to get her to open up about Lewis´ "I'm so sorry Liv, you were right" he whispered quietly stroking her hair gently off her face "I love you babe" he whispered to her

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She poured herself another glass of wine, she had never felt so helpless as she did today, she had wanted to fight but she couldn't, her Kerry Vincent was raped, the only way she knew how to deal with that was wine, alcohol and plenty of it. Now she was by herself her mind kept going back there, could she of done anything different, why didn't she hear him come in

She could hear the knocking on the door, she didn't want company "Kerry" Lawson called out, she knew he wouldn't give up sighing with resignation as she got up to answer the door

"I'm fine Lawson" as she opened up the door

"I just thought you might want company" he said innocently

"you don't need to check up on me"

He should of known Kerry was one of the strongest person he knew, but he was worried about her, she would never admit that she needed help, or that it had affected her.

"I'm sure you have better things to do than spend your time here" Kerry said to him

"If you are going to stay make yourself useful and open another bottle of wine"

"Why didn't you say something Kerry" he asked her gently

"its not something you talk about, oh Lawson I was assaulted today"

"Yeah… but you were raped Kerry, you need to press charges"

There he was back in his official police mode,

"Lawson just leave it, I did a ….." she couldn't bring herself to say that word out loud, rape, she didn't want to be a victim, she didn't want to be different, she didn't want it to have happened.

"How did you know" she asked him

"Olivia, on the plane she kept saying Kerry, they are out to get her, you need to be careful this could just be the beginning, he might have been caught, but what about his followers here, the ones who he has blackmailed. You need protection Kerry" he said worriedly

"Ill put your name on speed dial" she replied picking up her phone off the table "so if anything happens I will call you, they won't try anything again, they just wanted to scare me and it didn't work"

"You don't know that Kerry" he replied frustrated at her

"Yes I do, they are cowards, they won't try anything else. You worry too much. Now go home Lawson, we've had a long few days" she replied wearily

"I don't like leaving you by yourself" he replied worriedly

"Lawson I'll be fine, they've done what they wanted to, all phone calls are monitored now. If it makes you feel better I'll call you if anything happens."

"let me put police outside tonight" Lawson asked her

"No" she said forcefully "I'll be ok"

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When she woke up in the morning the panic set in before realising it was Brian beside her, the memories coming flooding back

 _He laughed as he pulled her hair as he moved back and forth "make sure this is good, and I come" he taunted_

" _If they could see you now Sergeant" feeling his member moving in her mouth releasing himself as she was forced to swallow._

 _Her eyes moving up to the police begging them as they brutalised her "these are prime fuckholes each and every one of them, open that mouth Sergeant" as they forced themselves inside of her_

The nausea came the thought of them inside of her as she shuffled to the toilet emptying her stomach as she retched violently. The force of nothing in her stomach and the vomiting and her ribs already sore, her whole body aching she started sobbing sitting on the floor next to the toilet.

She pulled herself up slowly leaning on the basin washing out her mouth and face, finally having a look in the mirror.

Gripping the basin for support her face swollen, lips cut, bruising on her face and hand marks on her neck.

Her hands fumbling with the hospital cord allowing it to fall down to the ground her eyes resting on her body, scarred, burnt marked, bruised where he held her tightly whilst he tore into her with punishing thrusts as she begged him to stop , a sob tore from her throat and the sight of her, scarred damaged. Shuffling over to the toilet seat her eyes moving down to her thighs, her fingers gently touching the outline DW moving up towards her stomach

" _I own you now Olivia, this is to remember me by"_

" _now open up or I will do worse to you than this"_

The tears falling freely, coming out as a scream pushing herself slowly up from the toilet seat

"Liv, I'm coming in" Brian called frantically through the door the screams from the bathroom

"Leave me alone, go away" Olivia sobbed as she let herself fall to the floor

"Please Liv, open the door let me come in" Brian begged and cried

"please go away, please go away" she begged rocking herself back and forth trying to block everything out.

"Liv, I'm going to get someone ok"

"No, I don't want anyone, please just go away and leave me alone" she cried and begged

"I can't do that babe, please open the door" he begged leaning against it

"What's going on here Brian" Fin asked as he entered the room

"Leave, Brian" she screamed out

"She locked herself in the bathroom, crying, she won't come out" the frustration in Brian's voice "she doesn't want me to call her a doctor"

"Liv, it's Fin, I'm coming in" he asked her gently as he opened the door

"Fin" she replied weakly through her tears

"I'm here Liv" quickly wrapping his arms gently around her "Shh" rocking her back and forth "you're safe now"

Her hands reaching out grabbing his shirt as the tears fell freely

"let's get you back to bed Liv" Fin asked her gently his arm gently wrapping around her waist lifting her off the ground

"I have always wanted to carry you to bed" he joked walking out of the bathroom with her

"I'll pretend I never heard you telling my girlfriend that" Brian joked to Fin before hurrying to the bed slowly sitting next to her his hand on her back

Flinching at the dip on the bed, shaking as his hand touched her back gently as she stiffened

"Why, why did it happen, why did it take so long for you all to find me" she asked quietly

"we never stopped looking, I'm so sorry Liv it took so long I should of checked on you early, I should of known something was wrong, I …. I'm so sorry" Nick replied tears falling down his face

"Liv, Kerry was searching for you no stop the entire time it just took longer, with Sergeant Dickinson involved, each day we hoped would be the day we would find you, I wish it didn't take so long" Brian replied sadly

"I should of notified the police sooner, instead of trying to ….." his head down the condoms on the bed "I'm sorry Liv, we all are. David Winters is a sick sonofabitch, it's nothing you have done" Dean replied softly to her "I should of realised … after" shaking his head he should of done more

"Can you all stop saying I'm sorry" she exploded "I'm tired I think I just need to sleep" turning onto her side bringing wrapping her arms around herself

"I'm just staying here in the chair Liv" Brian said softly unable to leave his girlfriend alone

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Knocking softly on the hospital door "Kerry" the surprise in Brian's voice as she walked in

"How is she going"

"not too good" he replied sadly

"its going to take a long time to recover both physically and emotionally, what she went through, I don't know how…"

"you getting there now Kerry?" Brian asked concerned

"Takes more than that to stop me" smiling at Brian "I'll come back later"  
"Have you caught the others involved?"

"We are getting there, we are confident we will get them all, we are gathering all the evidence, going through the videos, there are so many to go through but they will be all arrested shortly"

"Do you need any help Kerry" Brian offered

"You don't want to see the vidoes Brian they are….. they're bad. Take care Brian, look after yourself too"

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Olivia wanted to be left alone, she didn't want Brian fussing over her, or him saying sorry if he touched her and she winced.

She just wanted him away, her thoughts were plagued with nightmares, she would wake up trembling, shaking and he was there holding her, soothing her, she was confused.

They had given her pain killers to try to help stop the pain, wincing each time she moved Her insides still feeling like she had been ripped apart.

"Liv, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" he kept saying that, but she wanted him gone, she didn't want him to feel sorry for her, to feel like he had to be with her. Would she ever want to have sex with him again, was that what their relationship was about.

Would she come back from this, he was patient with William Lewis, but she couldn't exepct him to wait for her again, would he even want to, no she was just a burden to him.

"Liv, do you want me to get you anything, a drink, just let me know what you want, what you want me to do" he said hopelessly

"I don't want you to do anything Brian, I just want you all to go away, to leave me alone. I don't want anyone here, you left me with him for 7 days" she yelled at him

"We tried Liv, we tried, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Liv" he said dejected, as she flinched at his touch, moving her hand away from him

"Stop saying you're sorry, I don't care I just want you to go, don't come back" she yelled angrily her hands squeezing her head

"Liv" Brian said worriedly to her "I'm not leaving you, not like this I get it you're angry but I'm not going away"

"you don't get it Brian" Olivia said as she painfully got off the bed shuffling to the bathroom, he was the most caring guy around she didn't deserve him, here he was doing nothing but showing support, smothering her.

"Liv you'd stand by me, I'm not leaving you to deal with this yourself"

Her hand shakily opening the bathroom door as she turned around "Brian, I slept with Dean Porter, I spent the night with him" her voice was flat as she said showing no emotion the toll of it all catching up on her, she partly deserved what happened

"What… no?" Brian cried surprised

"I fucked Dean, screwed him. Had sex with him what ever you want to call it before this happened" she said flatly closing the bathroom door.

The tears falling down her face as she slid to the floor, she didn't want to hurt him she just wanted to be left alone, to have him leave. She didn't deserve him around her, to care for her he had hurt Brian then, but she didn't care, she didn't care about anything, Olivia was over the pain, the way everyone looked at her.

Brian looked at the closed door, before storming out of the room


	19. Chapter 19

_**The violence, rape and all is over for the time being, the aftermath is now happening this is more a filler but it does what it is meant to do for the lead up to the following chapters**_

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He didn't see it coming, the fist flying at his face as he was lying flat on his back on the floor, his hand covering his nose sitting up seeing the angry face of Brian Cassidy "Stay the fuck away from Olivia" he exploded

Feeling the captain and Fin's hand on his pulling him away "What's that about Brian?" he could hear Don's voice

Ignoring the question flinging their hands off him "I'm fine, I'm not going to punch him again, not for the time being, he better keep away from Liv" his eyes glaring at Porter

Watching Cassidy storm out of base, Nick's eyes move to Porter he couldn't help the smile forming on his face watching Cassidy hit him. He had gathered that Olivia must of told Cassidy that she slept with Dean, as much as he despised his partners boyfriend he also knew that despite it all she needed him now

'I'll go after him Capt" he could see the relief in Dean's eyes, he wasn't doing it for him but for Olivia

"Cassidy" calling out after him, watching as he ignored him "Cassidy" his voice louder

Turning around he didn't want to speak to Amaro or to anyone all he could hear was Olivia's words replaying in his mind " _I slept with Dean"_ did their relationship mean that much to her

"She didn't know what she was doing"

"what, you knew"

"I found out by accident, the point is Cassidy, Olivia was drugged when it happened, she had the date drug or something put in her drink"

"You expect me to believe that Liv was drugged, come on Amaro this is Olivia we are talking about" his voice showing his disbelief

"I didn't believe it but the CCTV footage shows her stumbling out of the bar, we reviewed it all, she wasn't herself when it happened, she needs you Cassidy, don't let her go through this by herself" why was he encouraging him to go back to her, why when he thought she could do better

"It doesn't change anything, she still slept with him"

Watching as Cassidy walks off yelling after him "you slept with a prostitute, yet she still went out with you, goodness know why, she deserves better than this"

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Bringing her legs up to her body, wrapping her hands around her knees her body wracked in sobs, did this happen because she cheated on Brian, was Dean involved in it. She didn't remember much about that night the guilt and confusion when she woke up in his bed.

Her head was throbbing scrunching up her eyes as she rubs her hands across her forehead. Her whole body was sore, her stomach, her head, her insides still felt like they were torn. She would never forget the first time he plunged inside of her, ripping her insides apart as he roughly thrusted.

Her head started spinning her hand moved down to her stomach which felt like someone was stabbing her.

"Brian" she called out weakly, was he still there

"Br….ia..n" she slurred as she slumped down to the floor.

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He felt Kerry sitting next to him before seeing her, his mind continuing going back to those few words Olivia said to him " _I slept with Dean Porter_ " even if what Amaro said was true why did she still, sculling the drink the dark liquid of the scotch what he needed "I'm not that good a company"

"I thought you would be at the hospital with Olivia?" the question came out casual but she was curious "does this have anything to do with why you punched Agent Porter"

Turning his head briefly to her before fiddling with his drink "it doesn't matter, Olivia is alive that's all that matters"

"and you're here and she's still in the hospital by herself"

"I'm sure Amaro is with her or Porter" those last words spat out

Leaning back in the chair there was something about Brian Cassidy that had her intrigued his ruggedness underneath it all his love was there for Olivia "Officer Cassidy you don't want to be a detective"

A nervous laugh escaping him, someone who didn't know his past, someone who didn't know how he lost his shield and he kind of liked it "um I was a detective in SVU last century according to Liv, that's how we met a drunken one night stand that turned into a few more, I couldn't deal with some of the cases we had to deal with and after a particularly brutual case with a teenage girl gang raped I left"

Tilting her head to the side she could hear the love of Olivia in his voice the hurt too "that would be hard to deal with, not sure I could"

His eyes moving down stirring his drink anything to get away from her blue eyes the intensity in them, damn probably didn't even realise the affect she had on people "Yeah it can be, anyway I wanted more she didn't and 13 years later we met on a case I was working UC on and started seeing each other casually again. After Lewis she moved in with me and it was kind of nice so when our leases were up we found a place together"

"you still do UC" a small laugh escaping her lips "you don't have to answer its like I'm giving you an inquisition here"

I work nights mainly down at the Bronx courthouse, um" a nervous laugh again escaping him "I lost my shield but have just recently gotten it back"

Seeing her raise her eyes at him but saying nothing "it's a long story"  
"you don't have to tell me we all have our secrets, there are many times I have nearly gotten demoted" somehow she had gotten out of it, DUI, Boyd she didn't want to go there, killing his brother, sleeping with him

"I slept with a prostitute on my last job, we were involved it was before Liv, that's how I met her again, she was investigating the guy I was working for Bart Ganzell, and let's just say it was a rough start for us, trust demotion. IA took my shield and got me working nights, wasn't the best start to a new relationship but we survived. We didn't meet again under the best circumstances Carissa the girl I was involved with was killed, Olivia's captain framed and then I was framed for rape but Liv took it in her own hands" shaking his head he could still remember seeing her for the first time she looked fantastic, they had ended up back in bed again when she got the phone call about her captain, Olivia would win over any person, including Carissa

"I never thought" moving his head down blinking back the tears that were threatening to form "lets talk about something else, what about you Kerry, enough about me"

"me" a small laugh coming out of her "not much I work too much a son I never see that's about me"

"no one to go home too?" his voice curious and questioning

A small laugh escaping her "No" her thoughts drifting quickly to Lawson "no there's no one"

"you have the respect of your team and others, the way you came in and took over, never giving up"

"Yeah they are a pretty good bunch, even if they drive me crazy most of the time, sending me grey" laugher in her voice

Her hands fiddling with the glass of wine, it felt so natural sitting talking to the guy she hardly knew, was it safety that he was involved with Olivia or was it that she actually felt an attraction to him, felt something

"I don't know how you all deal with it all, Tactical Response diffuses situations to have to go through it all with the he says/she says it would be tough, we arrest them and hand them over then the D's do the rest, we don't get involved, Lawson does sometimes but most of our cases , some last a bit longer, its good that way"

Fiddling with his hands "it is, but Liv she is great at it, has such empathy and can really reach out to them all, the way she handles each situation, she is a force to be reckon with in the interview room though, I don't know….. after this if " remembering her nickname of badass Benson so different from the person she is at home would she still be the same, would she still be able to deal with it all

"When is Olivia getting out of hospital"

He was thankful for the change away slightly from his thoughts "not sure she's been pushing people away" is that why she told him about Agent Porter

"She's been through a horrific ordeal. I can't even imagine what she went through, how she will get through it, the nightmares, at least she has you though"

"She doesn't really let people in, she went through one of the worse imaginable thing last time" sighing

"what with that Lewis guy" her voice questioning

Nodding "she has just been through the court case and seen him sentenced which gave her some relief but the nightmares but she really doesn't open up about it, I don't think she would about this either"

she knew that feeling not opening up, going on the drinking binges after killing the cyclist she knew all too well "it would be hard, and this talking about what you went through again reliving it all, nightmares wanting to forget it, it would be difficult"

"yeah but I'm her boyfriend, partner" his fist hitting the table "we live together, the nightmares what he did to her she still has them, shaking night after night I would hold her, wake up to her shaking" his voice full of sadness moving his eyes upwards getting control back "now this I don't know how she will get through it, and all I can think off is her having sex with Dean Porter" frustration and anger in his voice

That explained him punching Porter, but she never thought Olivia would be one to cheat on her boyfriend

"I think they are closing the bar now" was all she ended up saying.

He didn't want the night to end he had enjoyed talking to her he enjoyed her company "somewhere else to go around here, more Nightlife"

"this is Alice springs Cassidy nothing like New York, want to see an outback cabaret, you don't really strike me as that type of guy though"

"lead the way"

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Olivia was slipping in and out of consciousness she tried to call out but she couldn't concentrate she couldn't talk. Each time she tried to push herself up she fell back down, she tried to call out but all it was was a slurred whisper

"help, Brian anyone please help"

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She knew he had a girlfriend one that they had been looking for but it still didn't stop her desire and want of him, there was something about Brian Cassidy that she wanted and the look he had been giving her she knew he wanted it too

"Feel like a nightcap before leaving"

He knew he should say no one night stands were a thing of the past, he was in a relationship with a woman he loved. The thrill of taking some random girl home fucking her, throwing her phone number away had gone the days in the past

" _I slept with Dean, I slept with Dean_ " why couldn't he forget those 4 words why did they keep going over in his head

The look in her eyes the intensity in them, damn shit there was something about her she wasn't who he would of gone after, someone younger, the evening was enjoyable part of him didn't want it to end

"Its just a drink Brian"

Was it just a drink was he reading too much into it, why did he even think more of it why "why not" where did that voice come from he didn't even recognise it as his own

Her feet curled up underneath her on the lounge, damn why did she have to look at him like that, the smile that just lit up her face, the tilt of her head the way she causally moved her hair away from her face each movement she made he was memorised.

All thoughts of Olivia leaving his mind, the fact that for the past four days he thought of nothing other than Olivia, the fact that he had trusted her and not worried, it didn't even worry that Dean once wanted her, she had trusted Olivia, he had trusted her and she had betrayed him in the worse possible way, it hurt was this what it was punishing Olivia

" _hasn't she been punished enough_ " the voice in the back of his mind " _hasn't she been through enough, where were you, the first time it happened"_

"this has been great Kerry, but I should go"

His hand reaching the door the same time as hers "See you tomorrow Cassidy"

Her lips met his so brief how it happened she didn't know but she felt his hands moving down the back of her head tangling in her head, her body tingled as his tongued parted her mouth latching onto her throat

Her hands fumbled with his buckle and belt as his fingers moved down her back moaning at his touch "bedroom" she was finally able to mutter

 _ **Oh what am I doing to my beloved Bensidy will Brian end up sleeping with Kerry or will he have some self control**_

 _ **Please don't hate me all you Bensidy people, I really can't believe I have written that scene breaking my Bensidy heart.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**I can't believe I am writing the horror parts are now over**_

 _ **This is still rated T but for other reasons and I am sorry for this chapter but for some reasons I felt it should be written and it wrote it self no idea how**_

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His hands knotted in her hair as their tongues moved around together " _no kissing, kissing leads to more, kissing is what lead to love" musing to herself_ she needed to forget her past what she desired and wanted this was exactly what she needed a fuck and orgasm without commitment

Her shirt was yanked from her body whilst she unbuttoned his jeans yanking them down his knees, she pushed him onto the bed kneeling in front of him her hand slithering down his boxers grinning at the mess he was becoming, her hand moving up and down his hardened length, being in control was her thing, it is what she wanted to be at work at home, in bed she didn't like feeling out of control ever

Moving her hands up to his chest, her hands on them pushing him against the bed, she didn't even feel his hands move down undoing her jeans, her legs straddling either side of his body

His hands moving from under her legs, moving up her thighs running his fingers up and down them, parting her thighs even further

Her hands either side of his shoulder as she lowered her body onto him, she wanted the power to be in control she could feel his hand moving up to her clit his hand slow at first moving faster, his hand rough around her sensitive skin,

She could feel him wanting to be inside of her "patience Cassidy" sighing

She stopped just at his hardened length adjusting her position it had been a while, lowering herself onto him adjusting to his size as she felt him thrusting inside of her, the movements slow and first feeling him wanting to thrust faster

"Whao, Slow down" she muttered

She wasn't ready to come yet to give him the power over her, she could feel him starting to come, she pulled back just as he was about to, moving off him "That was cruel Kerry"

"yeah I suppose it was" her mouth finding his kissing him softly

He knew it was wrong on so many counts but Olivia's words echoing in his mind "I slept with Dean" his hand grabbing her waist bringing her back down inside of him, his fingers digging into her as he thrusts in and out, it had been so long since he had a great fuck not caring how it was when he and Olivia first hooked up.

Before she knew it she was staring up at the ceiling, her hands pinned above her head, she had lost the control over him, her body shivering in excitement tingling at his touch

One hand moved down her body, spreading her thighs apart, his mouth moving down, putting one leg over his shoulder , his hand moving from her thigh towards her clit teasing her for a moment before plunging into her.

She moaned bucked and arched her back as he moved around inside of her, she couldn't help but grind onto the fingers as they pressed against her clit, she felt his third finger pressed inside of her moving around

"you going to come" he whispered to her

Shaking her head she wasn't ready to give this stranger, someone she had only known a few days totally control not yet, she wanted that orgasm but on her terms and she wasn't ready to give him that power yet

She felt his fingers moving faster inside of her, she felt the impeding orgasm coming, she closed her eyes she wasn't ready for this, not yet but his fingers moving faster inside of her, the other hand rubbing her clit she could feel it coming, her body exploded, shook and trembled as her hands grasped what ever was around, her fingers digging into his shoulders, his arms

His fingers still teasing her inside bringing her down from her high, his hands moving out from within her, pining her hands back down above her, as his hips met hers, as his thick length stretched her again entering her, her hips bumping against his as he moved back and forth she could hear his deep groans as their hips collided, his hands knotting her hair, her hands digging into his shoulders, her own back arching as she felt his climax come through his body as her body bucked underneath him another orgasm exploding on her.

He rolled off Kerry staring up at the ceiling, what had he done he had just had the most amazing sex something he and Olivia had when they first hooked up " _Oliva, Olivia"_ that one word what had he done to her, what had he done to their relationship, shit shit shit.

"That was amazing" she sighed, she didn't want to admit it but it was one of the best sex she had ever had

"you weren't to bad yourself"

Turning to face her on the bed, their breathing back under control her body glistening on the sheets her breasts standing up, her nipples, no he wasn't to go there not again his eyes fixated on her breasts

"do you have to go yet?" she didn't want to seem desperate where did that come from "I can make it worth you while" her foot running up his leg

"I'm sure you could" a small laugh coming from him, as he rolled her back onto her back, putting one leg on his hip,

Lowering himself into her, one of his hands moving down her back the other moving up and down her leg, he felt her hand on his shoulder as he entered her slowly, pushing her hips up to meet his. He hit the spot, slowly thrusting inside of her "Oh fuck" she felt her body tremble and start to buck and arch her hands reaching around for something to grab as he slowly kept thrusting, grabbing the pillow he feels her body quivering underneath him, she felt the climax taking over her body bucking trembling underneath him "Oh fuck" as he thrusted harder and faster into her

A short while later they lay there tangled up in the sheets there limbs entwined in each other as their breathing came under control, she knew he was about to walk out of the bedroom and she would probably never see him again, there was part of her that was disappointed but knowing that made it all the more exciting, she let herself go, let herself climax with him felt his mouth on hers

"it was only sex Brian" she muttered softly to him leaning over kissing him softly on the lips.

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The nurse Lisa walked into Olivia's room looking around "Olivia, Detective Benson" she called out. She tried to open the bathroom door, she didn't want to push too hard in case she hurt her, realising that Olivia was behind the door "I need help NOW, help" she yelled out

It didn't take long before they were able to get into the bathroom "oh help" the nurse cried out seeing Olivia slumped on the floor he hand quickly pressing the alarm before kneeling on the floor.

'Stay with us Olivia, come on" Lisa cried out feeling for her pulse. She had already been through much Lisa wasn't going to give up on Olivia now.

"My head and stomach" Olivia mumbled trying to open her eyes

"Where am I, don't hurt me, please no more" she slurred trying to focus and move her head

"We need a CT scan now" Doctor Edwards called out as he entered the room. "there's no time to waste"

"Olivia" Lisa said gently "we need to get you up and onto the trolley"

 _His arms lifted her effortlessly and flung her onto the bed "you stupid bitch, you're going to pay" slapping her face as she heard his zipper being undone._

 _He pulled her arms up roughly tying them up to the top of the bed._

"Get your hands off me" she screamed her hands lashing out hitting and scratching them as they tried to get her up. "Don't touch me, get off me, don't touch me"

"Tom" Lisa called out at the other nurse the scratch on her arm and hand from Olivia as she thrashed around, she couldn't imagine what she went through, as they tried to subdue her Lisa seeing blood on Tom's cheek

"Olivia" Lisa said gently "you are in hospital you are safe now, you're going to be ok but we need to get you out of here now"

"Where am I, it hurts so much" she said in a tiny voice like a lost girl trying to curl up into the foetal position

"I know, we're going to try to stop the pain now" Lisa said sadly, wondering yet again what she went through to have such a reaction. Her body bruised, the nightmares that she had, the tearing inside of her. A week of being raped repeatedly she didn't know how she was holding it together, but she was going to help her in every way she could.

"I just want it all to stop" she managed to say before lapsing into unconsciousness

"WE need to get out of here NOW" Dr Edwards called out.

AS they pushed the trolley out of the room, Lisa gently held her hand "it's going to be ok Olivia" she said gently. There was no way she or any of the nurses were going to let anything happen to her, not now. How did she miss any of the signs, her signs had been stable.

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He had to go, he had to get out of there he shouldn't of fucked her the second time did it make much difference if it was once or twice the truth was he had just fucked senseless someone else sent her into orgasms that he himself came too.

"it was only sex Brian" those words still hit him hard and strong as her lips found his kissing her softly,

Her arm lacing around her neck pulling him towards her rolling him onto his back, she was going to give him more to remember her by, something that he wouldn't forget, her hands roughly on his chest keeping one hand pinning him down whilst the other moved up and down his hardened length, hearing him moan as she pushed his thighs apart her hands moving faster up and down, moving her mouth down teasing it with her tongue

She could hear his groans his body starting to arch pushing it back down "not yet"

Her hand moving faster up and down rubbing it, stroking around It, she was in control he knew it. It slid through her mouth sucking the length up and down slow then faster she could feel him starting to climax as she slowed down grinning up at him, she knew he wouldn't leave not now not when he needed to release himself again and she knew how.

His hands were trying to grab something anything as she felt himself coming to the climax his hands digging into her shoulders as her mouth made its way up and down "you should be leaving Cassidy, shit" mumbling to himself

His hands had pinned her back onto the bed, she knew he wouldn't leave not yet as his hand moved down her body caressing her breasts, moving slowly down spreading her thighs apart, his fingers rubbing her sensitive areas before feeling his tongue moving about, faster and faster his hand firmly on her thighs as he shoved two fingers inside of her moving around slowly

She could feel her body starting to buck and tremble she tried to push him away from the impending climax but his free hand held her firm held her hand in position.

She felt him put the third finger inside of her again moving around faster and faster as his tongue was moving faster.

He could feel her body trembling shiver and bucking beneath him his fingers moving faster around inside of her he slowed down slightly bringing her down feeling her hands grabbing her hair, her fingers digging into his shoulder, scraping down his back 'That's mean" before picking it moving around faster again continuing his assault on her

Her eyes were closed as she climaxed her body trembling as he took her to it, feeling his fingers still inside moving around bringing her back down as his mouth moved up to hers kissing her softly on the lips before withdrawing his fingers

She was lying on her stomach, he still needed the release his length was hardened "ready for this Kerry' whispering in her ear

His hands parting her thighs, positioning himself at her entrance he pushed inside stretching her, thrusting hard and fast inside of her "Shit, fuck Cassidy, oh fuck oh fuck" screaming out

She had moved off the bed arching her back on her hands and knees his thrusts still coming hard and fast, his fingers digging into her waist

She moved his hand down to her clit feeling his move around her sensitive spots, her hand trying to grip the bed, closing her eyes she could feel him start to climax as his fingers gripped her harder bruising her hips.

Grinding against his finger as he plunged his hand inside of her, the other hand gripping her hips his thrusting not slowing down, his fingers moving around inside of her, tightened already by him inside her other entrance, his fingers moving faster which each thrust.

His thrusting slowing down releasing inside of her, spent his thrusts slowed down coming down from the high he didn't want to think how many times he had fucked Kerry in one night, and moving off her.

He could feel Kerry buck as she climaxed both of them collapsing on the bed. He had to get out of there, he, shit he couldn't stay any longer, she had made him climax each time, it wasn't just sex it was more, he couldn't stay, he couldn't touch her again, not even to say goodbye "I have to go" sadness in his voice not of leaving but what he had done.

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"Shit how did we miss this" Dr Edwards said looking at the CT scan

"We need to get her to theatre now" he yelled out "Get an anaesthetist now and prep Olivia for surgery"

"Lisa, wake up Dr Wong, I need him on this we need to relieve the bleeding on her brain, we don't have time to send her to Adelaide or Darwin if we don't operate now we will lose her"

"I don't know how this was missed in the first place" he said to himself

"Lisa, let the police know that she has to be taken back into theatre and the boyfriend. We are operating now on her, we need to relieve the pressure on her brain, and stop the internal bleeding. She has a clot on the brain" Dr Edwards said as he entered the theatre.

She had tried her boyfriend previously but it had continually go to voicemail. She had wanted him there before she went into theatre. He had hardly left her side, but she hadn't seen him for a few hour now.

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The clock numbers glowed in the dark 4.30 am he knew he would get not sleep tonight picking up his clothes from the floor.

Watching Brian put his clothes back on a smile on her face, she did it she slept with Brian Cassidy even if it was just the one night she did it. She should of felt guilty knowing that he had a girlfriend who was in hospital and what she went through but she didn't , she Kerry Vincent did not have guilt she did no wrong, Cassidy could of said no and not end up in her bed, no this wasn't her fault and she would not feel guilty over what was the best sex she had ever had, he still had a few more nights in Alice Springs along with her team finishing it all, could she hope it would happen again.

He wasn't going to kiss her goodbye, not like he used to do with Olivia after their hook up why did his mind continually go back to her putting his boots on the last piece of clothing turning to see her still in bed "See you in a few hours"

Could he actually ask her, would she tell he had to try "Um Kerry, could you not" he stuttered ashamed

"you don't want Olivia to know" was there smugness in her voice, did he even really know her

All he could do was nod "bit late now isn't it to have regrets Cassidy"

"shit Kerry, I know what we did was wrong, I shouldn't of had sex with you all night" he exploded "but we did and all I'm asking is can you please not tell Liv, not yet not after what she went though" his voice begging and pleading

"it was just sex Brian" her eyes moving up to meet his "I won't tell Olivia but you do need to"

He opened the door and exited quietly, unaware of the door next door had opened slightly watching him exit the room having been woken up the past few hours with the paper thin walls.

"Shit Kerry, what have you and Brian done" they never expected that when he saw the door open.

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He didn't want to go back to his room, to stare at the ceiling he hadn't been there much since Olivia had gone missing, he had to put one foot in front of the other, the shame he felt at what he had done, how could he have cheated on Olivia during this time when she had gone through so much but those words would not go away "I _slept with Dean_ " did this make them even now, was that what he was trying to do, could he even trust Kerry not to say anything to her

He needed to have a shower, he needed to go to the hospital but he couldn't not until he got himself together, the lift sounded so loud as it opened onto his floor, great just what he wanted as Amaro walked towards him "Cassidy"

Was that suspicion in Amaro's eyes, would he know what happened, could he tell by looking at him, did he smell of Kerry, did he smell of sex " _you're being stupid Cassidy_ " the one thing he did know was that Amaro would take delight in telling Olivia, anything for Olivia to leave him

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The alarms in the theatre hooked to Olivia started to beep and go off

"We are losing her, get the adrenalin and paddles on her now!" Dr Edwards yelled out

 _ **Sorry, I really am Okay shoot me now what have I done to my Bensidy, think it all has to do with no Bensidy in season 16.**_

 _ **Will Amaro find out, Will Cassidy tell Olivia I have no idea but you will find out soon**_


	21. Chapter 21

"Have you seen Liv yet and been to the hospital"

"I'll see her today" his voice rough wanting to leave of all people to meet he had to meet Amaro the holier than now partner

"She needs you now, don't abandon her for one stupid mistake" was that begging in his voice

"Maybe she should of thought of that before sleeping with Porter" was the high and righteous ground going to make him feel any better, was it to try to make him feel ok about what he did

"You've never slept with someone else, she was drugged for fucks sake Cassidy, I always knew you were an arse and jerk but over this" he could feel his voice rising "she didn't know what she was doing" he exploded

Could he use that excuse with Kerry, I didn't know what I was doing, she seduced me and fucked me senseless I had no control over it "look I have to go"

"For some reason that only Liv knows she started going out with you, whilst you slept with a prostitute, yet she still wanted you"

"At least I didn't get her pregnant, Carissa and I were in a relationship before I met Liv again, you slept with the sister of your target and had a child with her, you think you're better than me Amaro?" he challenged him "We've both done things in the past, you'd forgive Maria or Cynthia just like that if you found out they slept with someone else drugged or not"

He could see he had hit some nerve with his comment "I thought so"

He could feel Amaro's eyes on him looking at him closely too closely, could he tell he just threw his clothes back on, that they were ripped off, all he wanted to do was go inside, have a shower get rid of all evidence, get rid of everything "I'll see you in a few, go and visit Liv, you've always had a thing for her"

Watching as Cassidy walked towards his room, there was something about him he didn't know what, but his cop instinct was kicking in "you just getting home?"

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk"

He knew his answer was plausible but he didn't believe it "all night in your work clothes" his voice was accusing

"it was the thing I had thrown on the chair" moving closer to Amaro "just come out and say what you're thinking"

"nothing" his eyes not moving from Cassidy, would he actually cheat on Olivia, he knew how much they loved each other, that was before he heard about Dean Porter would he actually do something to get to her

"Cassidy just don't do something you'll regret later on" calling out why was he trying to help that jerk, the same reason as before because for some reason Olivia loved him

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The water tumbling over him he had no idea how long he had been in the shower for the water now luke warm some indication his hands against the wall, each time he closed his eyes he was back to the previous night thrusting inside of Kerry, how he spilled inside of her, how many times did he actually fuck her, oral sex, anal sex was there any type he didn't have, why that question he could not answer. Was it payback to Olivia she didn't deserve it or him.

Punching the wall of the shower, blood now spilling down his hand, the pain he felt there it was something, he wanted to feel something other than guilt. The shower had washed away all evidence of the night before, how well did he trust Kerry "you should of thought of that before you fucked her" he mused to himself

Would she tell Olivia, would she tell anyone his eyes moving up to the mirror "Cassidy you are a jerk, you really don't deserve Olivia, you know she wouldn't sleep with Dean, you do, after what she's been through she needs you"

Cradling his head in his hand the tears fell down his face he had betrayed the woman he loved in the worse possible way, would she ever trust him again, would she forgive him, would she actually want to have anything to do with him.

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The shock on Kerry's face as she hung up her mobile, not after everything Olivia couldn't die now.

Quickly throwing on her clothes she had to go and find Cassidy, his phone still turned off.

The knocking on his door was incessant and wasn't going to stop and he opened it with the towel tied around his waist the water glistening in his hair still, dripping down his chest. He could even feel the smirk on Kerry's face as her eyes moved up and down his body.

"Kerry not now" he said as he went to close the door, her foot blocking it

"Brian, its Olivia can I come in"

"What about Liv" has asked worriedly as he opened the door for her

"They have been trying to get onto you, she took a turn for the worse"

"She's ok now" Brian said his chest tightening

"They did a CT scan an found bleeding on the brain and internal bleeding and rushed her to theatre. They are operating on her now"

Brian walked over to the chair his body falling onto it, his head onto his hands, "She's going to be ok she has to be' he said quietly

Kerry could feel the guilt that he was feeling, the fact that the past few hours he had been in her bed fucking her senseless instead of at the hospital. She tentatively walked over to him, gently putting her hand on his shoulder "She's going to be ok Brian"

He flung her hand off his shoulder getting off the chair facing her "you don't know that, I should have been at the hospital but no I wasn't instead I was with you" he yelled

"I know …. just get dressed and I'll drive you to the hospital" Kerry said calmly as he just stared at her neither hearing Nick opening the door, his eyes moving to both of them.

"Is everything ok here" Nick asked trying to figure out what was going, Brian with a towel wrapped around him glaring at Kerry, not for the first time that night wondering if something was going on between them.

"What do you want Nick" Brian snapped at him

"Liv…. You need to get to the hospital"

"Thanks Nick, the hospital just called I'll take him when he's ready" Kerry said firmly

"I'm going there now," his eyes moving back between both of them, as much as he didn't like or trust Brian he wouldn't go there not while Olivia was in hospital and just found.

"Kerry I'll find my own way there now" Brian said to her walking away from her to the bedroom

"Brian" she said exasperated "its quicker if I get you there and I have to go there anyway now with the case"

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The ride to the hospital was short, his eyes looking out the window, the shower washed away the night before but it would never erase it all his mind replaying it over and over again he never thought he would of cheated on Olivia. He could feel Kerry's eyes worriedly on him every now and then "She is in the best hands here Brian"

"it just shouldn't of happened"

His eyes down towards the floor of the car he was ashamed of his actions, disgusted with himself that he had acted on them, why that one word kept going over in his mind WHY!

The one thing he did know for the time being he had to keep it to himself, Olivia had been hurt enough without the betrayal from him, he had to trust that Kerry would keep this to herself.

"you need to pull yourself together Brian, I'm not going to tell anyone" the look on any of her team or anyone if they found out she had slept with Brian, the boyfriend of the victim, she had as much to lose as him.

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He had walked into her room early hours of the morning, begging and pleading with the nurse after she had been operated on.

The nurse relented knowing the NYPD was her family and her boyfriend, he didn't want her to be by herself. "she shouldn't be by herself after this ….. just this once" she ended up saying probably wondering why it was him and not her boyfriend.

He held her hand tentatively stroking it talking gently to her, could he hear her, he didn't want her to be by herself if she woke up with strangers around her

The only sound was the nurse coming in to check on her "how is she, really" he asked his voice full of concern and worry

"The operation they think went well, she is still in a very critical condition. She's been through a very traumatic experience, she's been put in a coma for the next 24 to 48 hours or so to help her recover"

Lying his head on the bed next to her, wondering, hoping that she might wake up that Olivia would be ok looking at her lying in the hospital bed looking so fragile against the white stark sheets. He would never forget the site of seeing her there ingrained into him the pain that she was in, what he had inflicted on her, but her eyes he would never forget the look on her face ever, even seeing her lying on the bed sleeping as peacefully as she could she was a shell of her former self

His eyes were full of worry he was used to Olivia fighting not giving up even after Lewis when he visited her she was still strong.

"You have to fight Liv, don't give up not now, not after you have survived this, I need you Liv I don't want another partner, SVU needs you we all need you, don't give this bastard the satisfaction of him winning Liv" his voice soft choking back the tears

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Sitting in the lounge in ICU he saw Amaro with Olivia, he needed a moment to himself to try to comprehend how all of this was happening he couldn't. Could he be strong enough again to help her through it _I slept with Dean_ it worked he had walked out on her, left her alone like she knew he would, how she pushed him away again, would she ever open up to him.

How could he explain to Don, Fin to anyone why he wasn't with Olivia last night, how could he explain to himself what had happened, he had to see her the fact was he was in love with her and believed her.

"Cassidy" Nick called out

"how is she. Is she awake?" Brian hated asking Nick anything.

"no, she is still sleeping she's in an induced coma, to help her" why was he the one telling her boyfriend all of this, yet again Brian Cassidy was proving he didn't deserve his partner

"Brian Cassidy" he heard his name again, coming out of his trance he saw one of the doctors walking up to him, motioning him over to a corner away from everything

"The operation went well" the doctor started as Brian noticed Don and Fin arrive motioning them over to him

"Sorry doctor, these are her work colleagues" Brian apologised

"As I was saying, the operation went well, we did nearly lose her but she's a fighter. She had a massive bleed on the brain and some internal bleeding. WE had to remove her spleen and their was a tear on her liver. She will be kept in an induced coma for 24 to 48 hours to give her brain and body a rest. Her body has been through a very traumatic experience. The next 48 hours is critical if she pulls through the next 24 then its looking good. WE won't know if her brain activity was affected from the clot and bleed until we wake her up. But at the moment everything went as well as to be expected" Dr Edwards said to the group.

"you can visit her but don't stay too long and only one or two at a time" he said before leaving.

Brian felt slight relief at the what the doctor was saying, he knew Olivia was a fighter and wouldn't give up. He could feel the glare of Nick upon him as he started to walk towards Kerry's room in ICU.

"I know what you think of me Nick and yeah maybe I should have been here" the voice inside his head adding " _instead of fucking Kerry"_ " I walked out on her, how would you feel if you girlfriend just told you she had slept with someone else"

"she wasn't thinking Cassidy, yet you still thought only of yourself not the ordeal she just went through and you left her all night, what did you do, go out and get yourself drunk, you sure didn't get up you were coming back home"

 _I went out got drunk, went back to Inspector's Vincent apartment and screwed her all night_ the voice in his head wanted to scream to get the know it all look off his face "Get over it Amaro, Olivia is never going to see you as anything other than her partner, yeah you care about her but get it in your head, She chose me we live together, I'm the one whom she goes home and screws, so what ever you think you know or think they're your dreams and fantasies and that's all they are"

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Don smiled as Kerry walked up to the group "Any News about Olivia?

"She's in a coma for the next 24 to 28 hours, the operation was a success so all we can do is wait." Fin said to the Inspector

"If only we found her sooner" was the same sentence that Kerry had repeated to herself over and over again.

"I keep wondering if there was anything that I could of done that she could of be found sooner, if I missed any leads" she said quietly.

"Kerry, you did a wonderful job, you never gave up and you pushed and you found her, don't be so hard on yourself. If it wasn't for you and your team, she might never of been found" Don said realising if Sergeant Dickinson was in charge it would have been a different story.

"There still so much work to do, we still have to go through the videos, take still copies and get all the evidence we can to arrest those involved. It already looks like one has done a runner, but we have his phone tapped and his car details out. We will get them all" she replied confidently

"how are you going Kerry?" Don asked quietly he had heard what had happened to her

"I'll be fine, I just came to check on how Olivia was going, I better be going?"

"Brian, how is she" Fin called out as Cassidy walked into ICU, Kerry could feel his eyes on her. Even in the hospital she should have regrets of what happened but she didn't, she could still feel the way his hands moved down her body

"You can go in there Fin, I just need some fresh air" he managed to say. Watching the machines breathing for her, the memories of what he was doing as she was fighting for her life being operated on had become too much for him.

"its NYPD only Kerry, so thanks for coming" Brian said curtly to her

"I'm just leaving, take care Brian and give Olivia my best" she could feel his eyes burning a hole in her shirt as she walked away.

"Brian" Don reprimanded him "This has taken it's toll on Kerry too. She cares about Olivia too. Don't forget what happened to her a couple of days ago"

'Shit" he said to himself, he had totally forgetten he was the one who had driven her to the hospital, yet the next night he had sex with her without a thought for what she had been through

He saw her about to exit the hospital her head down "Kerry" he yelled out seeing the surprise in her eyes as she turned around seeing him hurrying towards her.

"Brian" the surprise in her voice but on guard

"I'm sorry Kerry, I totally forgot about the attack when I slept with you" he apologised

"I'm not letting that bastard ruin my sex life, shit happens Brian and the sex with you showed me that it hadn't affected me" the memories flooding back to her.

"Let's just forget it ever happened, it was a one night stand, something we both needed after everything that happened" Kerry said trying to smile at him.

"I feel like I took advantage of you" Brian stammered

"You didn't, I wanted it to happen, if I didn't I would of kicked you out" Kerry assured him

"I just want to be sure that…. You know" Brian said unaware that Nick was approaching them

"Olivia doesn't find out ….. I'm not going to tell Olivia or anyone" she promised.

"I just don't want her to be hurt anymore than she already is. I know she doesn't really know you but …"

"I would never do anything to hurt her she has been through enough. But to actually pretend you care about what had happened to me. That's low Cassidy, you're an ass" Kerry fumed

"I do….. I admit I fucked up last night sleeping with you and … I didn't mean" Brian stammered digging himself a bigger hole unaware that Nick was listening in.

"Brian we slipped up, but I wouldn't throw that in her face especially after what she has been through" she would never tell Olivia or anyone, she would be judged as well knowing full well that Olivia was involved with Brian and had been raped continuous for the past week, what sort of person would sleep with her boyfriend.

Kerry turned away from Brian, nearly walking into Nick and Josh who was livid "I ….." how could she explain to them

"No" Nick didn't want to hear any excuse from either of them as he walked over to Brian who hadn't seen him or know he or Josh was there. Nick tapped him on the shoulder and when Brian turned around his fist went flying into his face knocking him off balance.

"How could you" he yelled out to both of them

"What the hell, what's your problem?" Brian yelled at Nick, rubbing his chin.

"What's my problem? Liv had been gone a week, she's now back and you have a dummy spit all because she slept with Dean Porter. I knew something was up, but I never thought that you Kerry would sleep with Brian" Nick yelled at both of them

"Nick, calm down a bit or go outside if you want to yell" Josh said trying to diffuse the situation.

"Kerry gets raped and you take advantage of her and Liv" Nick said fuming

"He didn't take advantage of me, and I wish people would stop it about the being raped" Kerry yelled getting in between them both with Josh.

"you defending him, you think it's ok what you both did?" Nick said incredibly

"I'm not defending him but we had a moment of bad judgement, it's not just Brian's fault. I knew what we were doing I don't have to explain myself to you or anybody. What happened happened, it's too late now. But Olivia has been hurt enough, she doesn't need to know about this, especially not at the moment" Kerry warned Nick

"Alright I'm sorry and I'm not going to say anything, but I think Brian should. He's an ass and the guy is a dick, and thinks with his dick only"

"Liv doesn't need any of this, just put it aside" Josh reprimanded them as they all agreed

"I'm going back to Olivia" Brian said moving away from them all his eyes briefly meeting with Kerry.

Kerry closed her eyes slowly opening them, shit, she didn't want anyone finding out especially her team "Why are you here Josh?"

"You're needed back at base to go through the videos and creating still shots. Lawson, Leon and Inspector Curtis and Lambert from Darwin have come down to go through them all? You need a lift?"

Shaking her head, her hair flying around her head "I'll meet you back at base shortly"

"I'm not going to tell anyone Kerry, what you do …." Josh promised his boss

Her smile was quick to him and grateful "It was stupid, so stupid" she muttered

"it takes two to Tango Kerry, its not just you"

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	22. Chapter 22

_**I'm so sorry for the huge delay and probably not many following now. I was trying to update and had it written but starting my own business has really gotten in the way. Here's hoping I get slightly better and it is all nearly written.**_

 _ **For those still reading here it is.**_ __ __

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They didn't know how much more they could take, the videos were so graphic, hearing Olivia scream, them torturing her, burning her skin.

It was hour after hour they had to go through, getting stills taken, watching as they tried to break her. As they entered her mercilessly and brutally

They got stills of the police officers, watching as Olivia begged them to stop. Not for the first time Kerry had to turn her head away and wipe away the tears, watching as they forced themselves inside of her raping and sodomising her, whilst the other forced themselves into her mouth.

 _She could feel Jeremy forcing himself roughly into her, thrusting as forcibly as he could. His hand gripping her waist. He entered her from the front and back. "Take that bitch, I know you are enjoying it" it was the same voice on that tape she was sure of it_

"how could anyone do this to another person" Lawson fumed as he watched yet another tape

"I'm done" Stella said walking away

"What do you mean I'm done Stel" Kerry asked her

"I can't do it, I can't look at anymore tapes. I'm not doing it" she said firmly as she walked out of the room.

"I know its hard guys watching one after the other, knowing what Olivia went through. But we need to do this so David, Dickinson and those officers pay for the crime and we can get the maximum sentence for them and justice for Olivia. I don't want this going into the wrong hands, I want to hand an air tight case to the DP, I don't want them to find any loop holes, I want all of these caught and charged" Kerry said to the group

" We want that too" Josh replied even as hardened as he was he was finding it hard to watch.

"I am getting a counsellor in tomorrow or the following day. It will be a group session and individual, you are ALL booked in no exceptions. I know this has been hard on all of you, watching the tapes, finding Olivia, afterwards but I want to say how proud I am of all of you through this as hard as it is. If you need time off after this is over or more counselling let me know"

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"Mr Cassidy, we are going to take Olivia out of the coma and see how she goes. The last 36 hours has given her brain and body some time to recover"

"She's going to be ok then" Brian asked Dr Edwards hopefully

"Its still a waiting game, its up to Olivia now. She's been on heavy painkillers to try to help her body and she'll go back on them but the can also mask symptoms too. Her body has been through a very traumatic time. She's got varying degrees of vaginal tearing, the burns on her, internal bruising, broken wrist, badly broken ankle, which will require more surgery once she has recovered. She is in a very bad way. To be honest I have never seen anyone with the degree of injuries she has that has survived or come this far, what he did to her, the torture he did…..." The doctor shook his head never in his 10 years working in any hospital had he seen someone with the injuries and burns that Olivia had, he couldn't even understand how anyone could do that.

"Liv is a surviver and fighter, she won't give up" Brian said firmly to the doctor

"She still has a long way to go, but she is one hell of a woman" the doctor said with slight admiration for this woman in his voice.

"She's got a huge support with her, you said she had burns…. They'll…. How…." Brian started before tearing up

"She's got burns on her thigh, buttock, even her vaginal area… he branded her it looks like, at the moment they are getting bathed and dressings on to stop infection, they are second degree burns that we are keeping an eye on" the doctor said turning his attention back to Olivia

"Brian, I need you to leave the room, whist we take the tubes out of her," before turning his attention to the nurses "I want the resuss equipment on standby" her ordered them he couldn't give up when she was fighting so hard.

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Olivia could feel something being pulled out of her mouth she wanted to clench down, not to open it, she wasn't going to swallow

" _open your mouth you whore" Dickinson swore at her "you know you want me inside of you" as he forced himself inside her mouth._

 _He had untied one her hands, that she slowly moved up to hold his penis in his hand, trying to control the rate and force he penetrated into her mouth roughly._

" _you bite me bitch, and you'll regret it, come on bitch take that" he said menacingly to her as he thrusted in and out_

 _Her eyes slowly moved up watching in disbelief that a member of the police force could do this to her, despite everything they had done to her, she was still caught off by what they were doing_

 _It felt like eternity before he released himself into her mouth and withdrawing, as he leant his mouth down to hers "swallow it bitch, you know you want to, you better not spit it out" he tormented her_

 _She wanted to gag as she felt his semun running down her throat, joining everything else that she wished wasn't in her stomach._

" _you're not getting out of here alive, they have no idea where you are, open up your mouth"_

"No, get off me, NO"

She suddenly woke up bolting upright screaming, fighting thrashing around in the sheets, her eyes full of fear, her heart beating frantically her eyes scanning the room bringing her legs up to her chest the sheet tucked under her chin

"Hey, Liv it's me Brian, you're safe you are here in hospital he can't get you anymore" his eyes filling up with tears

His voice was so soothing so familiar moving her eyes slowly, she couldn't believe the nightmare was finally over slowly straightening her legs out closing her eyes grimacing in pain each movement she made was a reminder of the pain the nightmare she went through

"Brian" her voice barely audible unable to believe that she was here

Kneeling down next to her he could see the pain in her eyes his eyes asking permission to hold her hand as she tentatively holds it out for him "yes babe its me I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" this time he meant it he could see the fear in her eyes, the pain blinking back the tears forming in his eyes how could he throw away everything he loved so much how could he be so stupid

"I'm so sorry Liv" if only she knew how much

"it's not your fault Brian, I'm… I'm sorry….. I let my guard down, I let this happen again" in between the sobs

Moving up to sit next to her on the bed "Liv, you have nothing to apologise for, this wasn't your fault none of it was"

She felt the dip in the bed, fear and panic overcoming her, her body shaking uncontrollably _his hands cupping her thighs she could hear the buckle and rustle of his pants falling down, his hands moving down her leg, before stroking her between her_

"no please don't" her voice was pleading, begging

"Nick, get a doctor" he could hear Nick already leaving the room the panic was in his eyes, he wanted to touch her, hold her wrap his arms around her, most of all he wanted to kill the monster who caused this reaction in her

Turning the light on moving slowly back over to the bed "Liv, it's alright I've got you, I'm so sorry Liv, can I hold you Liv"

"are you really here" she was trying to focus on him, no it was her mind playing tricks "no, it's not you, he's playing with my mind, no I'm in the hut"

Her arms thrashing around trying to losen from the restraints the sheets getting tangled up in her legs "Help me escape, I need to get out of here" her voice full of panic

"Liv, Olivia you're in hospital in the bed here"

"please don't" she yelled out

She was terrified her mind going back to the beachhouse bringing the metal bar down hitting Lewis _old ladies, I think you're afraid of me,_

He was becoming scared in everything he had seen, seeing Olivia like this he was terrified, images feeling his mind of what happened to her, how she must of begged, he didn't want to think or the images there

He held her tight his arms embracing her warmly pulling her snuggly against him, he wanted to protect her to make her feel safe "I'm here babe, I'm never letting you go, it's going to be ok" how he wanted so much to believe that

His hand not moving he didn't want to scare her instead embracing her head towards his chest stroking it so gently "Liv, Liv its ok I've got you"

Snuggling into him he felt safe, he smelt familiar his scent was what got her through last time "Don't let me go" she sniffled softly

"Never"

"he was here, I'm in the hut how did I get here, he was here he had taken me back" her voice starting to panic again she was hyperventilating

He could see her eyes looking around frantically "he's not here Liv, he's been put away he can't get you ever again, we got him he will never hurt you again"

"I don't want to be alone, please don't leave me" her voice pleading sobbing

His hand felt so strong so safe on her back, he didn't want to move it, to scare her, to set her off "I'm here Liv" he soothed

He saw Fin and Captain run into the room their eyes meeting his searching his eyes for answers, the worry in his own eyes echoed in theirs, giving a small shake of the head, he couldn't have anything else set her off

It took all her effort just to shuffle move slightly to try and get more comfortable each movement agonising the pain throbbing between her legs, feeling Brians hand shift flinching grimacing in pain his hand on the brand _this is my mark, I own you, you will never forget who did this to you, when I want to fuck you, you will open up your legs this is a reminder of what pain I can inflict on you she could hear it sizzling on her back the pain overbearing it pushed harder against her back the more she tried to move the harder it was pushed she could feel the heat against her skin pain it was all she felt all she knew and here away from it all it was all there the pain wasn't going away, she wanted it too she didn't want to feel it_

"Make it go away" her hands moving up to her face moving her hair away quickly her hands moving over her body "make it stop, please make it stop" sobbing almost hysterically

Reaching for her hands gently moving them up towards her face slowly "Liv, make what stop, he isn't here he is in jail, he can't hurt you anymore"

"the pain, the pain is everywhere, it hurts it hurts so much"

"Liv, your safe he can't hurt you anymore, just breathe Liv, breathe, he can't get to you, you're safe" Nick was trying to assure her

"Nick just get the doctor in here now" Brian ordered

"I don't want a doctor I don't want him touching me" her hands clenching around Brian's shirt "Please no doctor, I can't" her voice pleading

"Okay Liv, no doctor" nodding at her, her eyes turning up to Amaro telling him to get one anyway "why don't you lie down, try to get some more sleep"

"each time I close my eyes I remember, I don't want to think about it, to remember it I don't want to go back there" her voice was starting to panic "I don't want to sleep" yelling out

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They had spent hours going through all the videos, Sergeant Dective Angus McMillan coming down from Darwin she needed a detective she could trust.

"Ok I'm off to the hospital, see if Olivia is up to talking yet, I need her statement then we can arrest these bastards" Kerry said to them

She felt Lawson's hand gently on her arm as she was about to leave, noticing his eyes moving around the room ensuring no one else was around "Kerry, you and Brian Cassidy" he said softly

He noticed the roll of her eyes as she moved away from him "I don't know what you heard" she whispered " but its nothing"

"I didn't hear anything said Kerry" Lawson said confused his hand on her arm moving her away from the doorway

"Kerry I saw him coming out of your room the other night"

"oh shit just great" she whispered under her breath,

As Lawson continued "before you say it was nothing, lets say you weren't that quiet during the night" he said quietly amused at the look of shock and horror on her face that she was trying to hide.

"Its none of my business I know and you know I won't tell anyone, but people have a way of finding out and with Olivia now found and in hospital and Brian her boyfriend, Kerry you need to be careful" he warned her.

Her eyes were moving around the room looking everywhere but at Lawson "it was one night, one stupid mistake a momentary lapse of judgement, why am I explaining this to you" she replied shaking her head

"Let just forget we had this conversation and what you saw OK" she said firmly she wasn't going to beg or let him know that others already knew it was just a big disaster that she just hoped Olivia didn't find out about

"Just as long as you know what you are doing, which I doubt. Not a good look Kerry, sleeping with the boyfriend of the victim, the one that you have spent the last week or so looking for. I know how stressful this has been, but please Kerry just think of what you are doing" Lawson said his voice nearly pleading with her

"You don't know anything" she said angrily

"This case has taken a toll on everyone, and I know it has on you too"

"Anyone would think you were jealous, that you wanted it again" she said smugly walking closely to him as her eyes moved up to meet his

"huh, you think you're that good in bed"

"Oh Laws I know I am, from memory you thought so too" she said the smirk on her face

"oh god Kerry that was incredible, oh fuck that was good want me to go on" she whispered into his ear smugly

"Do what you want to do Kerry but don't ruin this case, not after what Olivia has been through and you know Brian isn't thinking properly"

He could feel Kerry glaring at him as she walked out of the room before she turned around her eyes spitting daggers at him "Lawson, its my life you know, not for you or anyone else to judge, so butt out of it" she said angrily and walked away

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She had fought the doctor finally she was sleeping the sedatives working, they were all worried about her, Brian, Nick, Fin and Cragen in her room watching her chest rise and fall. The only thing each of them hoped for was a sleep that wasn't plagued full of nightmares, flashbacks and pain none of them wanting to talk for fear of waking her up

The silence interrupted by a knock on the door "how's Olivia going, I thought you all might like some coffee, and got some snacks, sandwiches, any news?"

He could feel her eyes on him he was feeling paranoid that someone would guess, had Nick told them, that Kerry would say something "How are you all going with it all, a relief now she is found" her voice was full of concern he wanted to scream at her, tell her to go away it was all a game to her he was sure of that now, did she actually care about Olivia.

Unable to look at her his eyes drawn to Olivia "I'm going to be fine, we are going to be fine we will get through this together, I'm not letting her go through this alone she is going to get through this"

His eyes moving up to hers, her face was unreadable as she looked at him and the others in the room "That's good, just take care of yourself too, you'll be no good to her if you don't"

"I'll be fine" snapping at her "thanks for coming by Inspector" with that he turned back to Olivia trying to stop his heart from racing, how well did he trust her not to tell Olivia or her squad, he could feel Nicks eyes boring into him too.

"When Olivia is up to it, we need her statement, I'm hoping to bring a detective with me from Darwin tomorrow so we can proceed with the arrests and start to bring the charges towards them all. We'll take it slowly with her, I'm sorry but we need to do it soon"

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The silence of the room was a slight relief the rest of her squad going back to the apartments getting the sleep they all needed, the worry about Olivia still there, the only noise was the steady beeping of the machines.

Gently stroking her hand watching as her chest rises and falls with each breath his chair close to the bed his hand gently moving along her forehead, her face purple and slightly swollen,

Lifting her hand gently up close to his chin running kisses down her arm "How could anyone do this to you, I love you Liv I should of told you sooner, at first our relationship and I know most didn't think we would last hell I don't think either of us thought we would, we both put work first and it was just hooking up and amazing incredible mind blowing sex. Liv now, I can't imagine you not in my life after Lewis I realised how much I wanted you moving in together was perfect those 8 weeks afterwards I wondered how I was going to do it"

The back of his hand wiping away his tears "I did and we grew closer you and me Liv, I can't imagine being with anyone else"

Hanging his head down tears falling freely down his face _I'm so sorry babe for what I did to us, I just hope if you ever find out you will forgive me, I don't know why I ever slept with Kerry or why I didn't leave and continued all night. I am so ashamed of what I did and disgusted by my actions and I will make it up to you for the rest of our lives. You went through the worst imaginable time of your life again and that is what I did to repay it all._

 _I do love you so much and I have no idea why I did it, it isn't who I am not anymore. I'm so so sorry Liv and I can't say those words enough and I will make it up to you I promise._

"You do know sir visiting hours finished hours ago" she could see the look in his eyes sadness "I'm going to let you stay, after what she has been through having a familiar face will help her"

"thank you" his voice a whisper

His eyes were fixated on the nurse something to take his mind off his thoughts "how's she going?"

"she still has a long road ahead of her, she has fractured lungs, broken foot, broken wrist, she had second degree burns on her body where he branded her, she is on antibiotics to try to stop infection but only time will tell"

Hanging his head in his hands the images that were in his mind, he understood now why Olivia always said " _the images they stay with you forever, they don't go out of your mind, I don't want you to go through that"_

" _so you're protecting me"_

" _I guess I am"_

" _or yourself"_

Now he finally understood she was protecting him, it was the one thing they argued about he wanted to know to be able to help her.

"the burns is anything able to be done by what he did to her?"

"Unfortunately no, she could have skin grafts later on but it would be a very painful operation and the area is very large and tender on her upper and lower back, the one on her thigh is smaller. It would be a constant reminder of what happened to her, either way at the moment the main thing is to stop it all getting infected"

She was so gentle doing her observation checking her out, each touch as not to hurt her "All her vital signs are stable and she is improving physically each day, but mentally and emotionally it will be a longer process and she will be in a lot of pain for a few weeks still"

The clipboard put back at the end of the bed she could see the worry in his eyes "it will be a long road ahead still for her, but she is a fighter not many would still be here after what she had to endure.

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It was the first time Kerry had actually met Olivia in person as she tentatively knocked on the door "Hi Olivia, I'm Inspector Kerry Vincent from Tactical Response and this is Detective Sergeant Angus McMillan from Darwin, we need to talk to you about what happened, if you are up to it now" she said gently

Olivia slowly brought her hand out from under the sheets gently placing it on her arm "Thank you" she whispered gratefully

"I'm sorry we didn't get to find you sooner" Kerry apologised humbled by the apology she got from her

Slowly shaking her head "you found me, Capt said you never stopped looking for me, I didn't think id ever be found" she said wiping the tears forming in her eyes.

"we'll take it slowly and just tell me what you remember from the beginning. Anytime you want to stop or it becomes to much, let me know"

Olivia nodded her eyes down her finger fiddling with the sheets, even though she knew she needed to do it, having to relive it all, talk about it. "Bri, I …." She stammered

"You sure Liv …."

"Brian, I'll be with her, we will stop if it becomes too much" Kerry promised her eyes moving to him

"I'll be outside if you need me"

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Brian was pacing the hallways, he should be with her, but did he really want to know every detail, would he be able to control himself.

"Brian" Don called out to him walking down towards Olivia's room "Liv ok"

"Kerry is with her ….. she didn't want me …. I need to be there" he said as he hit the wall in frustration

"Brian, you know it is easier when people they care about aren't with him, Kerry will ensure she is ok" Don said gently to him.

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It was hard listening to what Olivia was saying to them, there were times when Kerry nearly broke down listening to her.

"he wanted me to remember him for ever, I can still smell ….. when he put it on my skin …. This way you'll never forget me. Each time he raped me I wondered if this was the last time, hoping that someone would find me. Then Dickinson walked in, I don't know what day it was, I lost count, he forced so much alcohol down my throat, sometimes he would bring me a meal. He threatened constantly that I was going to die, it was just a matter of when" Olivia said softly her voice breaking as she brought her knees up to her chest

"Do you need a break?" Kerry asked gently

Shaking her head Olivia continued "He then said it was my lucky day, he wanted to become a father and that I would be kept until I gave him a boy, if it was a girl Dickinson would get her. I kept thinking please don't let me get pregnant to him…. Some days it was like he would think I was his girlfriend or something, he was so different, not as aggressive other times he would put a knife blade or gun or whatever he found inside of me,"

 _She could feel her body responding to his touch, to his sucking her breasts and licking her, as it ripped through her body. It didn't matter how many times it happened she still felt so ashamed._

 _She waited for him to get off and force himself inside of her, but he continued to lick, suck her breasts, his tongue moving down her body "oh you taste so nice, I want you so much" he mumbled._

 _He gently put his hands on her thighs moving them further apart._

 _She could feel her body responding to his touch, she wanted to stop but it came again. His mouth kept licking and sucking her, as her body kept responding._

 _As he moved away from her his tongue moving down her leg she waited her body tensed up for what normally followed as she felt it at her entrance, instead he was gentle, his mouth sucking her breasts and finding her mouth_

" _OH baby this is so good"_

"A blade inside of you?" Kerry questioned her

Olivia's eyes were down she could still feel it pushed into her "Yes, he…. Got the blade and pushed it against me, he cut his initials into my arm" she whispered tentatively moving her hospital gown down quickly showing them the reminder etched into her

Her hand wiping away the tears that were forming before quickly pulling up the gown, her arms wrapped around her body "he then threatened to put the blade inside of me, instead he plunged the handled in and twisted it around. When he went out, he would do things like that to ensure I wouldn't move or try to leave, it was a gun once that he put inside of me, he would sometimes leave for hours"

 _She was petrified to move, she could feel herself piddling the urine running down her leg pooling on the bed, she didn't even realise it at first it was happening. Her arms were sore from being pulled above her, she wanted to move, to make herself comfortable, she could feel her body trembling._

"Was it only Sergeant Dickinson and David Winters Detective Benson" Sergeant McMillan asked

'I… " Olivia's breathing was becoming more rapid

"Do you need a break" Kerry asked gently

"There was 6 of them, all police from Alice Springs, they … all night. Sometimes 3 at a time each taking turns, laughing high fiving each other….. it was ….. I knew who they all were, I wanted them to stop, who would do something like that" Olivia asked her eyes moving up to Kerry's.

Kerry had to excuse herself and use Olivia's bathroom her hands gripped the toilet as the contents of her lunch emptied into the bowl. It was harrowing listening to Olivia, she had never heard anything like that before and hoped she never had.

She let the water run as she threw it over her face, letting her hands run down her face.

Hearing a scream she was brought back to the present as she hurried into the room, her eyes looking between Olivia and the detective as Brian rushed into the room

"Liv are you ok, its ok Liv" he soothed her, as his eyes moved up to Kerry questioning her "What happened" he asked angrily

"Olivia, what happened? I'm sorry if I upset you with all those questions " Kerry asked her gently

"You don't know, why are you serious" Brian said angrily

"I'm sorry Brian I was in the toilet briefly, McMillan, what happened," Kerry apologised

"What you left her by herself with him are you fucking serious Kerry, you promised you would be with her the whole time" Brian yelled angrily at them

"Brian, lets all go outside, this yelling isn't good for Olivia" Don said gently to them all

"I'm not leaving Liv, not now" his eyes going back to his girlfriend who had her knees pulled up to her chest

"you need to find out what Happened Kerry" he demanded before putting his arms around Olivia

Her eyes moved from Olivia to Angus something happened and she was going to find out why "I'm heading back to the station now"

"Kerry" Don called out

"I'll be a minute Angus, I'll meet you at the car" tossing him the keys

"how well do you know this Detective McMillan"

"I worked with him in Darwin a lot, he did a lot of cases up there about sexual assault"

"Do you really know him, something happened in there"

"I know what you are getting at Don, but he has been a good cop, he's been in the force for years. I am going to investigate and talk to Olivia again and see what happened" Kerry assured him

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She was deep in thought as she drove back to the station, did she really know him, how well did she know him. What happened did she have flashbacks, was it something worse.

"What happened in that room Angus?"

"She started having flashbacks I think all of a sudden she started screaming. I think the questions brought back lots o memories and she was reliving it. You now how it is Kerry with some victims, the questions are painful, Reliving it all, the flashbacks, thinking you are there again. Just listening to her story, what she went through be hard trying to move on"

"yeah" she replied her eyes glancing at him, his story was plausible but she had to speak to her again.

"Want to get a drink tonight, dinner?"

"I dunno, see what time I finish, might just head straight to my room and get an early night, sorry" as she pulled into the police station

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"Kerry, Inspector Vincent" the man called out as he saw Kerry walk into the station

"I'm Inspector Vincent" Kerry told the man confused

"Dr Victor Gilbert, I thought you would want this delivered personally to you, the results from Olivia's rape kit has been finalised, I didn't want them to go missing"

Her hand reaching out for the envelope suspicion on her face, tearing open the envelope as Dr Gilbert continues

"Inspector Vincent, we have a match on the DNA for you, we have more than enough evidence that the DNA is David Winters, but"

"the other DNA is Dickinson, he was there, we saw…." She faltered

"there is two matches of DNA but the other match is someone related to Winters"  
"what are you saying?"

"The DNA is someone closely related to Winters, family"

"You saying Sergeant Dickinson is related to David Winters" she replied confused

"Yes, we believe he is his father"


	23. Chapter 23

_**This chapter has a bit of history about David's family**_

 _ **And two so quick together**_ __ __

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"Shit, Are you sure he is related" Kerry asked in disbelief

"Yes, we have tested it again and it matches, so whoever this person is, we are 99% sure he is his father?"

Her hand grabbing in her pocket for her mobile phone quickly dialling Lawson's number "Pick me up bring Josh with you, I'll explain on the way" before hanging up

"Leon, I want you to find out all the places that Sergeant Dickinson has been to, or places that the Sergeant has only been a few months and left, and any reports of rapes that haven't been investigated and let me know" as she walked into the office.

Her mind was racing she should of looked into both of them more closely could she have done more, brought back to the presence by the beeping of the horn

"What's the rush Kerry" Lawson asked her as soon as she had entered the car

"we need to pay Margi Gibson another visit, Dickinson is David Winter's father we need to find out what she knows"  
"You're joking Kerry" Lawson replied but it did start to make sense to him

"Why keep Olivia alive, his MO for all the others was to rape and then kill them, why change for Olivia, did he enjoy seeing everyone try to find her" Lawson asked

 _There was a group of us, we spent the night raping her, she cried out, they took turns sometimes two at a time, at one stage they somehow had three of them, I wish I could take it back, they just kept going all night, Sergeant Dickinson and David had left and came back the early hours of the morning, I wished I wasn't involved, they kept saying what prime fuck holes she had and how if we enjoyed it we could come back again she would be around for a while._

 _I overheard someone saying that David was trying to get her pregnant he wanted a boy, if it was a girl Dickinson could have it and how much better it would be once she was showing._

 _I have no idea how she would of even survived another month let alone nine._

"Maybe we will never know" she replied softly that conversation haunting her, how many times after it happened had it repeated in her head, how she wished she could stop thinking about it.

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"Inspector Vincent, Senior Sergeant Blake" Margi Gibson answered the door surprised "What are you doing here, did something happen to David" she asked worriedly

"May we come in Mrs Gibson" Lawson asked her politely

Nodding, closing the door behind them, her eyes scanning both of them as they walk into the lounge room "What is this about?" she asked them

"WE need to ask you a few questions about David's father Margi who is he and where is he?" Kerry asked her

"Why what is this about, David has nothing to do with his father, he doesn't even know him I brought David up on my own until I married Dan I was a single mother" she replied confused

"You have no contact with him then?" Kerry asked her

Shaking her head "What is this about Inspector, why do you need to know about David's father?" she asked

"Just answer the question Mrs Gibson" Lawson asked her firmly

"I was nearly 18 when I had David, I was just 17 when I found out I was pregnant and had David a few months before my 18th birthday, my parents didn't want me to keep the baby but I wanted to, I didn't want it to be brought up in foster care or adopted, my parents came around. His father… his father I never told him I was pregnant. He was an older guy 27 years old, I thought he was really nice, I was naïve, he told me what I wanted to hear and we ended up sleeping together a few times, he seemed nice at first but then he was controlling, he wanted to know who I was going out with. I told him I had lost the baby after one time when he hit me, I feared for both our safety and broke up with him, he kept hassling me, AVO's didn't work, the police were useless I didn't want my baby growing up with a father like him. In the end the only way was to leave, my parents sold our house and we moved out to the Northern Territory to Darwin, a new start"

"Where did you move from" Kerry asked her gently

"Clare in South Australia, it was a country town and we had to move, I told my friends and everyone we were moving to Adelaide for Dad's work"

"What was his name Margi?" Lawson asked her

"Johnathan Merchant, he lived in Clare but I think he was originally from Port Augusta, we went out to the pub one night and I met him after work, and saw him talking to someone, I asked him who she was he beat me that night when we went back to his place, that was the first time, he said he was sorry and it would never happen again" she replied sadly fiddling with her hands

"But he did" Kerry asked her gently

Nodding her eyes moving up to look at Kerry "It did, my parents saw the bruises on my body and they took me to the police , they did nothing he had friends there and he was wanting to go into the academy so we left"

"What does all of this have to do with what you are accusing David of?" she asked quietly

"We believe that Sergeant Dickinson is David's father?" Kerry replied as gently as she could

She could feel the bile rising to her mouth, quickly bringing up her hand to cover it "how, no, I heard that Johnathan had died a couple of years ago in a boating accident or something"

"Do you know when?" Lawson asked her

Shaking her head she felt relief when she heard, there was part of her that loved him but she knew then he would never find them "I'm not sure, maybe May two years ago, I think he was in a boating accident out at sea, the boat blew up I don't know the details"  
"Did they find his body?" Lawson asked her

"I don't know" she replied agitated "I can't remember, all I remember when I was told was slight relief that David would never be harmed like I was, I was scared that one day he would come and find us"

"Inspector, are you sure that Sergeant Dickinson, could there be a mistake?" she asked hopefully

"They tested the DNA again for both of them and they are 99% sure that he is his father" Kerry replied as gently as she could

"There is slight hope then, this isn't David's fault this man his father is a monster" she replied angrily

"I'm sorry Mrs Gibson, he is in jail and will be staying there, bail is being refused for both of them" Lawson replied to her

"Do you know how David found out or have an idea when?" Kerry asked her

Shaking her head, she could feel her body start to shake "No, I didn't know, what type of mother am I, he's done all those horrible things I didn't even see it, he had the hut as man hole, as he asked for, but he would come home, he had a room here, I thought maybe he had met a girl in Alice" shaking her head sadly "I didn't know, how could I not of known"

"Inspector, please can I see David, I need to speak to him, I need to find out, please" she begged Kerry

"it will be under supervision, but I can arrange it in a few days"

"Please Inspector Vincent, I need to see him today, I can get Dan to pick me up later, if I can get a lift with you, I… please" she pleaded

"Okay" she relented

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Her mind was a jumble, fumbling with her hands her body shaking he had found out her secret, would David forgive her, why didn't David say anything she needed answers to the questions

"Do you have any children Inspector a son, maybe I had David too young?"

"I have a 24 year old, I had him young too, I was 20 years old his father died when he was a baby so I brought him up myself, I was too young them to have a child and had no one to help me" she replied softly.

"He turned out alright, he isn't a murderer and rapist though, you would of realised that" she asked bitterly

"No, but he lives in America and I don't really see him, as soon as he was old enough he left home, my job overtook a lot of things, I was ambious and wanted to make something for myself for us, but it took over. We want to think the best of our children we don't want to believe they would do something so awful. Don't be so hard on yourself" how many times had James told her she was a shit mum but a good cop, that she hadn't seen him in about 5 years.

"Thanks Inspector" she replied softly

"Call me Kerry, Inspector is so formal"

"I just can't believe that he would do all of that, what would make him do it, are you sure that it wasn't Johnathan?" she asked hopefully

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but we have video evidence Margi, your son videoed it all, everything nearly that he did to her, he branded her, raped her, he did things that, his DNA was taken from a rape kit…. Margi your son, is going to jail for a very long time" Kerry replied softly those images would never go from her mind.

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She was nervous of meeting her own son, who was he now, had his father turned him into a monster, was her son still there. How could he do all those things she was sure they were wrong, but video, how did she go so wrong  
"Mum, so you decided to finally come, wondered when you would" he said sarcastically

"David, please" she asked softly "Why, why did you do it, I don't understand, I thought I had brought you up better than that. All those girls, and the police officer"

"thanks for the sympathy mum, and believing in me" he scoffed

"There is video evidence David, I didn't want to believe it, that my son could do that" she replied sadly tears forming in her eyes

"You lied to me all those years you told me my father had died, why would you do that, why would you let me believe that"

"I was told that, I was told he was killed in a boating accident, can't you see, he fakes his own death, you have become exactly like him only worse, I didn't want to tell you what he was really like, can't you see what he has done to you, why David why did you do it" she cried out

"He hasn't done anything to me, I know now more than I did before, why wouldn't you and the police like to know, I told you I didn't do anything to that police officer, they are trying to frame me and him"

Blinking back the tears how could she raise him to be like this "They have your DNA David, you videoed it all, they found her in the hut with you"

"Dad will sort it out, he's in the police, she came with me mum, I didn't force her to do anything that she didn't want to, she was obsessed with me, she willingly came with me. We had sex so my DNA would be inside of her but nothing happened that she didn't want to" he replied confidently

Her hand moved up to her face rubbing the tears away moving slowly down her face how could he think that was alright "I bought you up better than this David, this isn't you"

"Maybe you didn't know me at all mum" he scoffed at her

In that moment she knew that despite it all, he was like his father, there was a question she needed to know "how did you find him?"

"He found me, I didn't believe him at first but he told me things that no one else would really know that I believed him, he didn't want to tell you, he said … "

 _David,I know you don't believe me but your mother fell pregnant at 18 when she was living in Clare, she moved away, she told me she had lost the baby if I had known I would of stayed with her. She was grieving and her parents Patricia and Colin Winters blamed me for it all and she believed them he replied sadly to him_

 _I never would of let her go, that much was true he wouldn't of I wanted to be with your mother, but her parents they spread rumours about me, they lied your mother was, she suffered a bit from depression and I loved your mum and I had always wanted a son._

 _There was so much he knew that he started to believe him_

 _I just want to know you son, I had always wanted a son I think it is better that your mother doesn't know not yet._

" _Mum told me you had died"_

 _His plan had worked she had heard the rumours, he had been so careful planning it all, and it worked Johnathan Merchant was gone for ever and in the place Sergeant George Dickinson was born_

" _The boat I was in caught on fire and exploded I was able to jump overboard and was saved by some fisherman but the fire had scarred me so I had a face reconstruction and surgery, I was lucky to survive it son"_

 _It was then I knew I had to find you, I found out she had a baby and I knew you were mine, given a second chance of life I knew then I wanted you in my life" he replied the false sincerity in his voice_

 _It had taken about six months they went out one night down at Coober Pedy he saw how rough his father had sex with a 20 year old, before getting him to have a go, she cried out in pain but he hit her across the face before turning her over doing her again thrusting inside of her roughly. At first he was shocked this wasn't the way he was brought up but there was something inside of him that was drawn to it, the next night they went out again this time he tied her up the girl while he roughly did her as she screamed "you're hurting me, please stop, please I don't want this, no"_

 _He couldn't believe he was actually turned on by her thrashing and when it was his turn that he actually enjoyed it the struggle just added to it._

 _His father finally undid the restraints as she was crying the blood dripping down her legs, watching as she runs away hearing her scream "help, somebody please help me"_

" _As a policeman I better help her, don't you think son"_

 _He watched as he dragged her back her pleading "please, I won't say anything, please let me go, no please"_

" _I know you won't" as he pushed her hard as she fell to the ground hitting her head_

 _The shock on his face "Dad, we can't just leave her here, she needs help"_

" _She will be fine son, someone will find her, just remember what you just did to her this will only make her memory a bit hazy, she will be fine, let's go back to the pub, you might get lucky again tonight"_

 _He didn't realise that his father had come back a short time later whilst he was at the pub to find her still alive, that he put her in the ute and killed her and buried her elsewhere, nor did he know that this wasn't the first time and wouldn't be the last. He didn't think he would become like him but after that night the thrill, having sex with any girl that he felt like he was hooked he didn't think he was raping anyone he was just getting what he wanted the way he wanted._

 _The first time it happened the girl was screaming, kicking him "Get the fuck off me, I'm the police you idiot, let me go now and no one will ever know" shit what had he done, his hands had grabbed her throat as she was struggling he didn't mean to but he watched as she stopped struggling "shit" and he called his father to help him and together they buried her body somewhere no one would ever know, that was the start._

"Mum I would never let him hurt you" he called out softly watching as his mother walked out the room

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Kerry knocked tentatively on Olivia's door, she needed to find out what had happened in the room

"Sorry Olivia, can I come in?"

She could see Olivia's eyes nervously scan behind her "it's just me today"

She could hear the sigh of relief that she had tried to hide.

"I'm sorry to do this, but I need to know what happened the other day, you can trust me, I want to help" Kerry asked her gently

"you found me, didn't you, you were the one that ….. I thought I was never getting out of there" Olivia replied softly, bringing the back of her hand up wiping away the tears that were forming

"I trust you" Olivia replied barely audible, she did despite what she was told, there was something about her, her eyes.

"he did something to you didn't he?"

Nodding her head, as her hands pulled the sheet up covering her "he….. he put his hands under the sheet, he moved his fingers towards my leg. He said that I deserved everything that happened, that I asked for it. He said to admit that I wasn't raped that I wanted it all to happen. He was going to make sure that the charged were dropped" as she quickly wiped away the tears

"That he could do me there and then and hard, isn't that what I wanted. He would make me pay for what I have done"

"I'm so sorry, so sorry…. I …I thought" Kerry stuttered

"The charges are not going to be dropped, I am going to make sure everyone is held accountable for this, no one is getting away with anything" she replied firmly

"Thank you Kerry" Olivia said as she got off the chair to leave

"What for, I haven't done anything?" she replied confused

"yes you have, you have done more than you ever realised if it wasn't for you."

"No I haven't …. I don't know how you deal with all of this in SVU, I'll see you again Take Care"

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"you are extremely lucky Ms Benson, the degree of injuries you have….." the doctor started to say

" _it is your lucky day I have always wanted to be a father" why did people keep telling her she was lucky what part of all of this was she lucky, lucky she escape there was parts of her that was beginning to wonder that, wonder if she would heal from it all, bear the scars for her entire life from this whole ordeal she didn't consider herself lucky_

"you have first through to third degree vaginal and anal tears, broken wrist and ankle, fractured ribs, broken fingers, dislocated shoulder concussion and second and third degree burns" the doctor said as Olivia wondered if he had ever had all those things happen and think of being lucky still.

 _Wanting to scream out, they are not burns it is branding "something to commemorate our time together, to know I own you, you belong to me" the pain she felt as it was held to her each time_

"I'm really sorry Ms Benson but you lost the baby" he said sympathetically

Did she just hear him right her eyes looking down blankly "what"

"you were pregnant, it looked like about 9 to 10 weeks"

"No, No" crying out how could it all be cruel, how could something like that just been taken away from her

"I'm sorry Ms Benson the trauma and tears of the attack I'm not sure you will be able to fall pregnant again, in time it might heal but the assault did some damage to your body"

She couldn't hear anymore _you lost the baby I'm not sure if you will be able to fall pregnant again you lost the baby_ those words going through her head she didn't even know she was pregnant why did they have to tell me, why she had always wanted a family

"you will be given a cream to treat the burns on you they are not infected, you will need to keep on the course of antibiotics until they are finished, we have taken blood to be tested for HIV and sexually transmiited diseases, you will need another test in a months time"

"I know all that" snapping at him

"you will be given pain killers to help with the pain, the cast on your foot and wrist will need to stay on for 8 weeks, I will need your doctors details in America so I can send him all the details for your follow ups"

"just go" her voice barely audible trying to hold herself together why was everything being ripped away from her, taken away why did all of this have to happen to her again.

He was used to giving bad news, seeing the affect on people watching Olivia curl up in the foetal position rocking herself back and forth he wondered how life could be so cruel, after everything she had been through he had to give her more blows he wondered how much more she could take, she was barely hanging in there as it was, he just hoped she would pull through it all.

Her hands holding on to her knees slightly rocking back and forth her shoulders heaving with the sobs

 _She could feel his arms snaking around his waist throwing her onto the bed "you going to scream and beg for me to stop, I am going to fuck you until I put one inside of you then I will fuck you again"_

" _change of plans, think I'm going to keep you around for a while, always wanted to be a father a role model for a little boy so until you pop a boy out of you then I will kill you, count this as your lucky day"_

" _Scream baby music to my ears"_

" _no please don't, I can't no more I can't no"_

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She had pushed everyone away, everyone who cared for her, who loved her, she didn't want to see anyone, the pity on their faces, the sympathy just the way they looked at her. She was the victim now _victim_ that word she had survived this and was a survivor but in their minds she was a victim, someone who couldn't look after herself a Sergeant of the elite SVU squad _not so tough now are you Sergeant_ how could she expect people to trust her to look after them when she couldn't even look after herself

The knocking on the door getting louder "go away" her voice calling out she had no strength to deal with anyone Brian would she ever want him to touch her again

The knocking more persistent using all her strength bringing her knees up to her chest the slightest movement still hurting her, the throbbing between her legs still there, she could still feel him inside of her pounding away

"Sergeant" the voice hesitant opening the door slightly further

"I said go away" her voice firm but quiet

"my name is Nicole Taylor, I am a counsellor, people call me Nicki"

"I don't want to talk to anyone, please just leave me alone" her voice barely audible controlling her crying

"Olivia, it is alright for me to call you that? What about if I do some of the talking and I will leave shortly" Niki asked her voice gentle and quiet

She could hear the footsteps moving closer to her, the sound of footsteps in the darkened hut she lay there listening to his footsteps fear going through her body when he walked closer to the bed

"Olivia you have been through a terrible ordeal, no one should go through what you went through but you came through it all, you fought you survived you were one of the lucky ones that survived"

Snapping her head around "what part of what I went through was lucky, have you ever been raped continually, sodomised continually, been branded and marked for the rest of your life" her voice rising hysterically "have burns over your body that you will NEVER get rid off, been sexually assaulted so much that you will NEVER have children again" screaming unable to stop "have you, when you have had that, then you tell me how lucky I AM until then you have no idea"

"don't tell me how lucky I am" the anger in her voice

"You came through it all, you are a survivor a fighter, you will get through it, it might not seem like it at the moment Olivia but you will" she replied gently

"I've said those same words I don't know how many times to the victims and here I am one myself" pushing herself up into a sitting person closing her eyes in the pain "not only once but twice what type of officer does that make me" her voice barely audible

"Self doubting, we've all been there, how many people have you helped, how many have you saved"

"I don't know… a few, many" shaking her head slightly "I know we can't save or help them all but we can fight for justice for them, to stop it happening again, I feel like …. the system lets us down , that these people are able to go back out on the street and do it again, they're able to live again get on with their lives" her hands fiddling with the sheets her eyes moving down "where's the justice in that" her voice soft

"I hear you Olivia, you've had it worse than others"

"I'm still alive" _is that a good thing having to live with everything he did to me, the constant reminders of what I went through, the memories of what he did to me, the permanent reminders burnt into me, would it been better off if he had killed me than to try to live through it all to get through_ wondering to herself

"What are you thinking?" her voice prodding her

"how do you move on from it all, he's here he's with me he made sure of that, I have the permanent reminders branded on me" her eyes moving up to Nicki "how, it's not that easy is it?"

"it's there it will always be there, he, he" shaking her head

"We can talk more about that now or later"

"Or not ….I'm tired I think I just need to rest" shuffling into her side she didn't want to talk about it.

All she had time to do was think her mind going back to January inside the beach house, the trial finally when she was moving on. How many times had she seen Dr Lindstrom Olivia Benson seeing a therapist

 _They had it worse than you_

 _He got to me_

 _Got to you_

 _Not in the way you think_

 _I wasn't raped it was an assault a violent one but it wasn't rape_

 _You look at that test after four days he didn't have the balls to rape me and now he wants to admit in open court he did NO NO NO_

Her hand went down to her stomach "I'm so sorry" as the tears fell down her face the doctors word echoing in her mind, the loss for the baby she had for so little time and the loss for what she yearned so much.


	24. Chapter 24

'Drinks are on Northern Territory police tonight" her eyes moving to her team "guys just remember who you are representing here, and that you have a long drive back to Darwin the next few days, even if it is broken up ALL of you are driving that means you too Stel, Leon you are NOT driving"

"Ok, before we all get into the drinking for the night, I would just like to say a few things firstly I am so proud of you guys"

"How much have you had to drink Kerry complimenting us all, the nights just starting too" Stella calls out

"Don't interrupt her Stel, we might never hear her say anything nice to us again"

"Finished Stella and Michael, don't worry you two won't get many" her eyes boring into them "You gave it your all even with minimum sleep, which Stella is used to, you kept on going, pushing it never giving up and the way you all worked together as a team with the NYPD that you didn't know, you are all welcome back here any time" her eyes moving to Brian unsettling him

"to each and everyone of you thank you, I wish Olivia was able to join us tonight and we wish her all the best with her recovery and we will see you all back here again unfortunately again not under the best circumstances but hopefully justice will be served."

"Here's to Sergeant Dickinson rotting in jail for the rest of his miserable life and may he get what he deserves" raising her glass for a toast

"Stel" Lawson warns

"What" her voice full of innocence "we're all thinking it and how is he going to get off it, if you look into it I bet Olivia isn't his first"

"Stel leave it" shrugging at Kerry's warning "we need to let the legal system do it's job and we are not to jeopardise it in any way. Josh, and Michael still be staying here with me, everything is backed up, forensics sent up to Darwin"

He had purposely sat away from her, he didn't want to come but it was better than sitting in the apartment by himself, why did he find his eyes drawn to her, watching as she tipped her head back laughing, the way her smile lit up her whole face or the way she tilted her head listening to someone, why was his eyes drawn to her, drawn to her breasts that he sucked or the way her mouth felt on his penis

 _Stop it Cassidy Olivia you have Olivia she needs you you are not the Cassidy that would go and fuck anyone he saw_

"it was nice working with you all, wish it was under difference circumstances, you all welcome back here anytime. I'll be still staying on here until Olivia is out of hospital and back on the plane to deal with the media circus. I don't have to tell you that no one is to speak to the media about this"

Looking at Kerry she was different she oozed confidence, had an air of authority about her seeing her looking at him her eyes piercing into his, a small almost smug smile on her, his eyes moved back to her meeting her gaze upon him, glancing at her watching as she tilts her head slightly to the side with the light of the restaurant shining upon her, damm seeing her lean back on the chair joining in the conversation with the others, seeing the smile on her face get bigger as she tosses her head back laughing, shaking his head, he has a girlfriend one who he loves deeply Olivia one who is shutting him out _can you blame her Brian she needs you_

"I'll see you all tomorrow, thanks for your help in finding LIv" his eyes moving down the carpet more interesting anything but to look at her as much as he regretted his evening, part of him wanted to do it again, she knew what she was doing that night.

He could feel Nick's eyes on him, glaring at him, watching him, relieved when he excused himself.

"Brian" he heard Kerry call out "hold the lift"

"When's Liv getting out" she asked him better than the silence that was deafening.

"next few days I think, they're not sure. You by yourself now"

"Josh and Michael are staying to follow up, but the rest are driving back tomorrow or the day after. We will fly back once this is finished up and you and Liv are on the plane back to New York"

"you think Liv is still in danger or something could happen to her?" he asked worriedly

"Protocol that we must stay here, until she is on the plane out of here, no not now that most of them have been charged, we don't think or hope she won't have to testify against most of them, just David and Dickinson"

"you are pretty amazing Kerry, if Dickinson was in charge, it would be so different" Brian said as the lift opened to his floor

"I've got an unopened bottle of wine, if you want company, that's it nothing else"

"Tempting but…. I'll see you tomorrow" as the lift closed after him, his eyes lingering there briefly

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His eyes scanned the corridor as he knocked softly on Kerry's door, the slight surprise on her face as she opened it "What are you doing here"

"that bottle of wine still on offer" his eyes scanning her body, she had changed into short and a top that showed off her figure.

"Sure, get yourself a glass" she replied surprised

She was so easy to talk to, straight forward, as her legs curled underneath her on the lounge, as she emptied the last of the bottle "That is the last of the wine"

"I better go, I'll see you later, thanks for the company and wine much better than looking at the 4 walls of the hotel room"

His hand lingered on the door knob as he opened it, turning around she was so close to him, he shook his head " I can't" he mumbled softly to himself

"Brian" Kerry asked softly

"You are so fucking gorgeous Kerry, I shouldn't, we shouldn't …." He whispered closely he knew he should leave but he couldn't,

She pushed the door closed with her foot behind her "This is a bad idea Brian" she managed to say into between frantic kisses

His hands fumbling with her zipper on the jeans, frustrated as he yanked them down off her waist, he could feel her hands undoing his zipper as they fell to the floor.

She leaned against the wall at the door as his mouth moved down to her breasts nipping and sucking them as his fingers moved their way down to her body. She moaned as put his fingers inside her, rubbing her, moving in and out. Her hands tried to grab the wall, anything, she could hear something crashing to the floor "Oh shit" she mumbled as her fingers dug into his head, and back as it ripped through her body.

She slid down the wall, grabbing his penis in her hand moving it slowly up and down before licking, sucking moving it around her mouth. She could feel him come as she moved up leaning against the wall their arms entangled as she felt him at her entrance before entering her, thrusting hard and fast. Her arm moving down his back as she felt him come inside of her,

His hand snaked around her waist as they moved into the kitchen, lifting her onto the bench.

Her legs curled around his body drawing him closer to him, as her arms circled his neck, before lying on the bench.

His fingers moved down as they plunged inside of her, as she rubbed against them, his mouth moving down to her breasts sucking and nipping them as his fingers caressed her below she could feel herself coming, trying to hold it in before exploding as she tried to get her breathing back under control.

She could feel him at her entrance before he plunged inside of her, his body thrusting against hers. The release they both needed as he spilled inside of her.

He remained inside of her as they both came down from the high before pulling out, as they untangled their bodies from each other.

His eyes moved up to search Kerry's face, why was he so drawn to her, why couldn't he control himself when he was around her

"i…. I better get back to my room, its late" he stammered as he searched for his jeans putting one leg through them

She wanted him inside her again and again

"you sure it doesn't want one more workout" she whispered as her hand moved to his penis, sliding it up and down

"Kerry….." he started his eyes drawn to her breasts, her nipples hard "this is such a bad idea"

"I know" she whispered " but …." As he pulled her down to the floor moaning as he entered her again.

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How could he of done it again, once was bad enough but again, why was he so drawn to her, why couldn't he say no to her. Why on earth did he go to her room just the two of them.

She was hot and attractive he couldn't deny it, but she had no idea that she was, she had no idea that those blue eyes of her that pierced through anyone showed so much expression, or the way her smile lit up a room. He had seen so many woman working undercover, so many threw themselves at him, and it was not many that he went with, not even Carissa Gibson did he have feelings for a fling that was it. Kerry really had no idea the effect she had on guys.

Olivia his girlfriend was the most amazing person out, yet here he was cheating on her and unable to stop himself from doing so.

The shower couldn't wash away his guilt, and this time he couldn't blame Kerry, or anyone as much as he wanted he let it happen, he went back to her room knowing what would happen.

"I'm so sorry Liv" he whispered

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"you are able get out of hospital tomorrow, you would still need to stay in Alice Springs for a week or two, until your ribs and lungs heal sufficiently for you to undertake the plane trip back to America" those words filled her with fear and dread she was safe here, she could lock herself away from the world away from everything, she didn't have to face anything

Her mind kept replaying the beach house earlier in the year and this the one word going over in her mind "Sergeant" that word was now so foreign to her it wasn't who she thought she was, someone who couldn't look after herself, someone who was taken again, did she even deserve that word to her.

She had a lot of time to think, too much time Elliot leaving without a word, David Haden she had fallen in love with him, opened up to him and he had used her chosen his career over her, Brian _he's a perfect fit_ she had pushed him away not wanting to be a burden on him.

 _Have the members of the jury reach a verdict,_

 _Not guilty of Attempted Murder, Not Guilty of Attempted Rape_

 _He had gotten away with it again then those words_

 _Guilty of Kidnapping, guilty of assault on a police officer_

 _William Lewis had finally been convicted, finally found guilty_

Closing her eyes _I hit him with the rod until he was subdued, I did what I had to do_

 _He did not have rape me, he did not have the balls to rape me and now he wants to plead to rape he wants to stand up in open court and give graphic details of what he did not do to me NO he does not get to do that to me, he did not rape me he did not sodomise me NO_

 _He could walk again Liv, they could say you used excessive force_

Bringing her feet up to her chest, how many times had she told people that testifying was part of the healing process the relief she felt did help her heal this time, would it be enough to bring a dedicated member of the Australian police force down she would have to relive it again the thought terrified her could I live with the thought that they went free would the next person be so lucky.

"Olivia, I hear you're going home tomorrow that must be a relief for you to finally get out of this bed and hospital" the voice belonged to Nikki

"I don't feel like talking about my feelings again today Nikki, I'm fine, I'm getting out of here" her voice flat

"Why don't you sound excited, you afraid of being by yourself, afraid of getting out of here" her voice proding

"you have undergone a very traumatic time" Nikki continued on her voice gentle trying to get her to talk

"you survived the assault and you will survive the interrogation, you are strong I see that"

"you really want to know how I feel, what I'm afraid of" her voice exploding "I know he's locked up but I feel angry, if I hadn't let my guard down, if someone hadn't let him out… then all those others could still be alive and I…

"they had it worse is that what your saying" Nikkis voice gentle

"in a way I'm alive scarred for life but I'm still here, I was kept alive for…" _I want to put a bun in that oven we'll keep trying until I get that son of mine_

"Lewis, he….. he came so close last time to raping me

 _Little girls, old ladies what is it with you are you afraid of me_

 _No sweetheart I was just hoping we could take our time_

 _We've been together for fours days there a lot of talk but not a lot of action, I'm wondering if your not man enough to get it up for a real women just wondering about that, I think your afraid of me I do_

 _Do I look afraid of you, lets get to the action_

"but I managed that time to escape" her voice was so soft

 _What I want to do I want to shoot you in the head watch you bleed or maybe that's too easy_

"you can take care of yourself, you look after yourself" Nikki asked

"I'm a Sergeant in the NYPD, I've been in the police force for about 20 years and I let this happen"

"you didn't let this happen, this isn't your fault, you did not ask for this to happen or let it happen"

"I've said those same things to survivors all the time, I didn't struggle I….."

"he drugged you, he kept you drunk, force fed alcohol to you he assaulted you, he…."

"I know, I know….. I just want to forget it all" her voice sad

"What I'm afraid off is Brian, he stood through it all last time, how can I expect him to go through it all again" her eyes moving slowly up to Nikki "would I ever want, I can't even imagine going there"

"you were violently assaulted both sexually and physically, it will take time and given time"

"I know all of that, but it's just words until you've actually been there it"

"it is different"

"yes" snapping at her "I can't expect Brian to give it all up in the hope that one day I will be ready again, that one day I will be able to be intimate with him at the moment even contact… I can't do it to him he deserves"

"someone better, that he doesn't love you, that you don't want to be with him that you don't love him, have feelings for him" she proded

What was their relationship they had never defined it, it was comfortable

"I know he cares for me deeply he has shown that, he needs someone….. else" someone who can open up to him how long would he wait for him, he had needs _you know he loves you he might not of told you but he has been there for you and he could of walked away and he didn't_

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"Brian relax" her voice was teasing him

He couldn't relax shit he couldn't even look at her there was something about her that he wasn't ready to admit to himself along with the fact that he was about to pick up his girlfriend he couldn't ease his nervousness

"You can't even look at me, shit Brian what happened happened, get over it we are about to pick up your girlfriend, just try to act normal" exasperation in her voice

Normal what was that how could he act normal when the guilt was eating away at him, he couldn't even look at Kerry he was afraid, afraid of how he would act of how his body would act, he didn't want to admit that he enjoyed the other night again that she had woken up something in him again, something that he and Olivia had when they first started hooking up, it was just safer to be _immature_ and pretend she wasn't here

"what is wrong with you" frustration in her voice "you think if you even look at me that you want to fuck me again is that it"

Truth was that the sentence did have a slight truth in it, he did want to fuck her again.

"you do, I never knew I was that good" she laughed

"it should never have happened, I should never have let it happen, I was upset at Liv, and last night … and I am certainly not proud of what I did, look I just want to forget it ever happened, let's just agree never to talk about it again" his voice was close to pleading

"Get over yourself Brian, you're not the first guy to cheat on his girlfriend and you certainly won't be the last, bit late now for regrets now, should of thought of that before you screwed me all night, I know you enjoyed it even if you won't admit it" the smugness in her voice

He was defeated he was at her mercy and she knew it, she was dealing the cards "Please Kerry, don't tell Olivia, not yet anyway she's been through enough without this"

"Despite what you think of me now I agree with you she has been through a really traumatic time" her eyes glancing at him "the question is can you live with what you did, the guilt and will that affect the way you are around her"

"With you gone, and just Liv her and I we will be fine" his voice more confident than he actually felt.

"Really, you really believe that, remember I am not going until she is on the plane back to New York" he could see her raise her eyebrows and eyes "people don't just get over what she went through it takes time and you need to give her your full support , you know she might not ever fully recover from all of this, she went through a very traumatic time, and some never get over it"

Was she speaking from experience he found his eyes moving sideways towards her "Look I'm just saying, I don't work in Special Victims thank god, I don't think I could handle seeing what she does each day especially after all of this, but I've been in the police force long enough and seen enough to know that some people no matter how hard they want or try never come back from traumatic experiences and it changes them and each person copes in their own way" that part she did know things had changed her she dealt with it her own way but she had been able to move on, to put it behind her

"She got through Lewis and the trial she will get through this" his voice was full of determination underneath it all the voice was saying would she, would she ever truly recover

"you just need to be ready for it all Brian, forget we ever happened it was a release for both of us after a very stressful week at the time it was what we both needed but we now put it behind us and move on, and be thankful that we won't have to see each other again"

"I'm sorry" his voice was so soft he wasn't someone to apologise except to Olivia

"Yeah you've been a jerk and an idiot, but I'm used to that I work with them especially one of them, I'm not after anything, as great as that night was it was a one night stand and nothing more" _how she had wanted it to be more but she knew it was never going to be more than what it was an incredible amazing night of mind blowing sex_

"Just don't think about the amazing blow job I gave you" the smugness and chuckle in her voice

"you're pretty sure of yourself and confident, aren't you Kerry" he would never admit it but that drew him to her

"you have to be when you're a woman in this job and one at the top, you don't get there playing nice, there is nothing wrong in knowing what you want"

"you remind me a bit of Liv" did he just say that "she is confident in her job and amazing at it too, and has a lot of respect"

"You're not too bad Inspector Vincent" closing the car door

"Neither are you Brian, especially in bed" he could hear her laugher as she waited in the car

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He took a deep breath as he walked into the hospital he could do this, he could keep what happened a secret, he could act normal. He would be there for Olivia, she was never going to find out, because despite everything she was who he wanted to be with, she was 15 years ago when he first started and was now.

"it meant nothing, it meant nothing, I don't want to do her again, I want Olivia, I want Olivia, oh fuck Kerry was good, no he was not going there again, no ever Olivia needed him and he was going to be there for her.


	25. Chapter 25

_**This chapter contains slight violence nothing too much, it has a lot of flashbacks to the day it all happened how she got to be taken**_

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"you ready Liv" Brian asked her gently, no she wasn't ready she never would be ready to face the world

Her hands shaking, her body trembling trying to control the fear that was overtaking her, going back to the place where it all happened

"Kerry's near by with the car, I need to get you out of here before the media comes" his voice was trying to be gentle and soft, trying to reassure her it was going to be ok, he was there.

His hand gently on her arm helping her off the bed "I've got it"

"Ok, Ok" picking up her bags

"Ms Benson, here is the medication, it's all been explained to you and the details are on the package, there is some pain killers in there too, and a for one repeat from the chemist. The doctors phone number is in there, call him anytime if you feel nauseous, in severe pain or having breathing difficulties or call 000 for an ambulance. You will still need operations on your knee and maybe your shoulder and keep off the ankle for at least four weeks. We will bring in a wheelchair in a moment to take you down to be discharged. You have made an appointment for a weeks time in the clinic"

The wheelchair made her feel old but despite it all she was relieved the thought of walking or shuffling all the way down with Brian nearby watching, hovering over her the pain still radiating down below, she still felt like she was torn apart

"Ready Liv"

Her eyes moving up to him a slight smile on her face, she was lucky she had him he had stood by her with William Lewis and now this "as ready as I'll ever be"

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Panic was rising as she saw the car her hand starting to shake

"Liv, its ok you are safe now" he said gently "I'll help you into the car"

She wanted to say she could do it, but she was an invalid, broken wrist, broken foot, sore knee, she needed his help, here she was an independent person all her life and now she could hardly do the basic things herself.

She was wincing at his touch he could see the pain etched on her face "I'm sorry Liv" she ached all over, there wasn't much of her that didn't hurt

"stop apologising all the time Brian, it isn't your fault" her voice flat

"I know, I'm sor… " for some reason he felt like he should apologise he wanted to do more he hated seeing her like this instead he closed the door sitting next to her on the other side concern in his eyes as her hands trembled, he wanted to reach out and touch her he was afraid that he would scare her, afraid of hurting her

"Liv" his voice was soft and gentle wanting to reach out to her

Her hands were trembling shaking her mind going back her eyes were glazed over and blank

 _She began to stir fear starting to fill her as her eyes moved around trying to recognise where she was, the back of her head throbbing attempting to move her hand up to touch it the first one unable to move the second one the up struggling realising her hands were tied behind her back "what, no" she whispered her voice shakily "this is not happening not again"_

 _Her eyes adjusting to the darkness moving around, what ever she was in, they were moving she tried to sit up but her hands tied behind her back, her legs were tied together she fell back down_

 _Panic started to set in as she pulled at the restraints the car still travelling "no, No not again, this is all a dream a very bad dream"_

 _As the car still travelled rolling her around in the boot her eyes scanning for something, anything "god please please" frantically whispering to herself_

 _She was struggling to get up to move, to escape causing her to feel light headed, the pain in her head was causing her vision to blur she felt nauseous_

 _She could feel her shoulders heaving with her sobs "no you're going to get out of this Olivia, remain strong and focused you can do it"_

 _The car had finally stopped her eyes adjusting as the door opened "god please please" she whispered frantically fear setting in, memories of Lewis creeping into her mind thrown into the boot wrapped in a blanket her hands tied and mouth duct taped_

 _Her eyes moving up fear and terror setting in "I'm afraid he won't help you, you're awake now, we still have more of the journey to continue but I need some supplies and thought I better check on my cargo"_

 _His hand snaking around his waist helping her to a sitting position "we'll find it soon" his eyes scanning around his voice was actually gentle_

" _find what?" whispering her eyes looking up at him_

" _some place special" whispering to her_

" _have a drink" the bottle of vodka bought up to her lips, she could never taste or want vodka again she was forced the vodka by Lewis, his hand gripping her mouth_

 _Instinctively turning her head away "no"_

 _The back of his hand across her face "you do not get to say no to me"_

 _His hand pulling her hair, yanking her face back holding it in position her mouth open whimpering in pain the bottle forced through her lips she felt the liquid quickly down her throat "drink up" too quickly as it comes out of her mouth_

 _The gun pressed against her head "one scream I'll shove this gun down your throat" he threatened her_

" _Think about what you're doing here David" she whispered trying to stay calm_

 _Stroking her hair tenderly "it's all I have been thinking about the past two days was how to get you, to bring you out here and here you are"_

 _She was frozen in fear as the gun moved between her legs stopping as he rubbed it against her thigh as his hand moved gently over her face_

" _if you let me go now, no one will know this ever happened" she was trying not to plead and beg to keep the desperation out of her voice_

" _Really, you won't tell anyone, we will just pretend this ever happened?" disbelief in his voice moving his head closer to her_

" _no, you've gotten away with far worse than this, I had too much to drink I fell over and hit my head" her eyes moving up to meet his_

" _Really you expect me to believe you will pretend this never happened" grabbing her hair pulling her head backwards "you're lying" tugging her hair harder_

" _I'm offering you a way out here David"_

 _Pressing the gun against her head "we're way past that Sergeant, you're out here how do you explain that" he growled at her_

 _Staring into his face as he continues to hold the gun on her "I'm a NYPD detective, my partner, my squad, the entire Northern Territory police will hunt you down. If you think you've put people through hell it will rain back down on you"_

 _Her eyes not moving from him as he moves the gun away "you know what, let it rain" as she feels him strike her across the face with his gun_

 _How could this happen to her again she tried to get out, give him a way out but it wasn't going to happen_

"Liv" Brian's voice was gentle "Liv" a little louder giving a slight shake of her head bringing her back to the present "You're going to be ok, we're nearly back at the apartments"

Was she, was she going to be ok all that still registered with her was pain, the pain killers working but each move made her throb below a constant reminder of what had happened.

"am I" her voice barely audible

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The drive from the hospital was short the panic rising as they neared the apartment she could feel Brian's hand squeezing her hand her mind was not here, she could feel her hand shaking her body trembling the concern in Brian's eyes

"I'll take you down to the carpark Olivia"

"Call me Liv" her voice soft resting her head on Brian's shoulder

Her feet were frozen she could feel Brian's hand on her arm guiding her gently away from the car she couldn't move, her body shaking

 _She was groggy but even in her dazed state she could feel the gun pressed sharply into her neck "one move and I'll do you cold down her" the voice was threatening_

 _The lift opening in the basement she wanted to run to get away from it all the gun pushed firmly against her neck she walked towards the car_

" _you're not going to get away with this, let me go now and we will pretend this never happened"_

" _pretend this never happened, really Olivia you really think I believe that you would go back to your apartment and pretend this never happened, as soon as I let you go, you would be on your phone, nah this is going to happen, you are going to get a taste of what it was like, what it's like being a victim, what's its like being raped you will be able to identify with them all. Then when I'm done, you will be like the rest of them"_

" _you don't want to do this"_

" _I think I do I think I'm really going to enjoy our time together_

 _The gun moving down her back slightly flinching as she felt it pushed into her back "move, start walking" he demanded_

 _The gun pushed into her, making her feet walk trying to stop the fear and panic rising in her, her heart beating faster and faster not again, please not again the one thing she felt was fear._

 _Her legs went from underneath her, her mind hazy she needed to escape she didn't care if he shot her it would have to be better than what he would do to her she felt his hand grip her hard pulling her up off the ground wincing in pain as he pulled her shoulder._

 _Her effortlessly picked her up off the ground as she kicks and screams carrying her to the car putting her down to open the car she managed to break free after falling down again trying to run "help help" crying out someone had to hear her_

 _She could hear his footsteps behind her echoing in the carpark, damn woman you are a policewoman you can run, you catch crims each day run for goodness sake run despite convincing herself to run she could feel him behind her grabbing her hair pulling her backwards "help" she cried out the back of his hand flying across her face sending her flying to the ground closing her eyes as her arm crashed to the ground_

" _shut up you stupid bitch" her growled_

 _Crawling away from him on the ground hoping to find some form of protection for someone to come down someone has to find me, someone has to come in even as she said it she knew they would of saved her by now_

 _Her eyes moving up to his the coldness and anger in them she was shaking "no, no please" she cried out_

" _come here you know you are not getting away from this"_

 _She dug her feet into the ground as he hand gripped her trying to pull her up "you're not going to get away with this, my department, the police here will hunt you down"_

" _you're not that familiar with the Northern Territory or the police here are you? A word of advice they won't find you"_

" _if you think_

" _I don't think" as the gun across her face sends her flying to the ground as she blacks out, his arm snaking around her waist dragging her before lifting her to the car throwing her in the boot before speeding out of the carpark._

"Liv" coming back to the present hearing Brian's voice "let's get you up to the apartment"

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The lift had finally arrived pausing feeling Brian's hand on her arm guiding her inside the closing of the door clenching and unclenching her fists waiting for the door to open again

 _She was unsteady on her feet I didn't have that much to drink, something was wrong the dizziness she had been in the sex crimes unit long enough her drink was spiked how stupid had she been, she had trusted being with the police yet still her drink was spiked, stumbling out of the bar voices all blended into one, taking all her effort putting one step in front of the other_

 _the lift door opening just as they were closing her eyes moving up the fear she had in them that face she had stared at it long enough on the posters to know fear he wouldn't do anything here she wanted to yell push the alarm_

" _don't even think of it" the gun pointed at her, the blood pumping fast through her veins it isn't happening again it can't be but one look at the gun held at her told her it was._

" _Sergeant Benson you've been a busy girl looking for me, now you've found me, but it won't do you any good"_

" _What do you want?"_

 _The smile on his face that sickly smile that reminded her of Lewis the arrogant overconfident smile "you of course, don't you want me, isn't that why you travelled all the way over here"_

" _those brown eyes sergeant is that fear in them" he taunted her_

" _go to hell Winters, you really thing you're going to get away with this" even as she said it she had a feeling that he would, that he was already here walking through the apartments that were full of police yet he still managed to hop in the lift and put a gun to her head_

" _I know I will, make a noise it will be the last one you make" he threatened her "you and I are going for a little drive, where no one will ever find you"_

 _Please no, please not again please let the lift open again someone save me the words hopeless as she felt the lift descending into the basement_

" _did you really think you could come here and arrest me and get me extradited back to America, you're more delusional than I thought you and the rest of the NYPD detectives I've gotten away with this years now and you Sergeant Benson thought you could fly all the way out here and catch me"_

 _She froze as she felt the gun move down pushing if harder into her as his hands moved slowly down cupping between her thighs in that moment of time she was unable to breathe, unable to move slight relief as he moved his hands away "we'll save that action for later, I think I will need you tied down for that" as she felt the gun pushing her chin up "for that I can't wait to pound into you"_

 _Her mind going back to her apartment as soon as she walked inside "welcome home Detective Benson" and the gun pushed under her chin, her arms pinned behind her. Throwing her onto the bed in the beachhouse_

 _The lift opening onto the basement tripping as she is pushed out, her hair pulled as she is yanked up onto her feet knowing that this was happening_

The doors opening of the lift Brian's hand guiding her as she shuffles over to the front desk "I can't… can you…. i… can you get the keys please" finally stuttering out

Guiding her over to the chair his eyes moving to Kerry no need for words not wanting to leave her by herself

"Will get you out of here soon Olivia" her voice gentle

"Liv, no one calls me Olivia" her mind going back to the bar

 _The group of police had arrived, Sergeant Dickinson, there were 8 of them all of us sitting at the table mainly the men Constables, Senior constables and the detective_

" _Olivia what do you think of Australia and the outback so far" one of them asked her_

" _You can call me Liv, hardly anyone calls me Olivia its so different to New York, I'm used to being able to walk a lot of places to work, parks and so many people there, here I can go for a run early morning and hardly see anyone, the scenery around is lovely, if I ever get a day off I wouldn't mind going sight seeing around here there is so much space"_

 _The questions came along with the drinks how long had she been in the police, about Special Victims she should of realised at some time something was wrong but she didn't she didn't have more than the others, didn't she have less a couple of glasses of wine a couple of them left, early start wasn't it they said "see you at the station tomorrow Sergeant, nice talking to you, have a good night"_

" _Do you see yourself doing anything else than what you do Liv?" was that Senior Constable Matthew White_

" _I love being in Special Victims, I can't imagine myself in another unit, I've been here for 15 years now the cases you deal with are hard especially children but it was where I wanted to be, my father raped my mother and I was a product of that rape, she had me" she wondered why she was telling complete strangers her life story_

" _Another drink Liv" Sergeant Dickinson asked_

 _Her hand moving up to her head trying to adjust her eyes her vision blurred "I'm feeling a bit dizzy and light headed, I might just head back to my room, sorry"_

" _I'll take you up Olivia" Sergeant Dickinson she was sure that was his voice_

" _I'll be fine, I'll… go" what was she going to say_

 _It all made sense now Sergeant Dickinson here and at the hut he was in on it, was he the one who spiked her drink, he never left his seat his back turned to the bar_

 _Leaning against the wall outside the bar moving her hand up to her throbbing head, she felt sick but it was more something was wrong seriously wrong._

 _Her eyes darting around the reception area, lift I need the lift mumbling to herself I'll be fine once I get to my room_

 _There was so many noises, voices everything blurring into one not able to understand anything finally putting one foot in front of the other she arrived at the lift leaning against the wall you're nearly there just a few more minutes, fumbling in her pocket for her room key relief as the lift finally arrives, the numbers of the floors all blurring into one, just as she is about to push it the door is forced open even in her hazy state that face looked familiar all too familiar fear going through her._

"Liv" Brian replied gently watching as her body started to shake, he knew from Lewis the signs of her remembering it, the shaking, waking up in sweat.

"Liv, I'm going to touch your arm, we are going to get you out of here" as he reached out and touched her arm

"don't touch me" she screamed flinging his hand off her arm as she hit him in the face

"Liv I didn't mean…." He apologised blinking back tears

"Brian" she asked confused "I'm… i…. I can't get in the lift"

"Kerry and I are with you Liv, you are safe they are in jail, they can't hurt you" as he carefully held her hand

"I can't …. He….." she stuttered

"I won't let anything happen to you"

"you can't stop them, you didn't stop them no one stopped them for 7 days, you just don't get it" she yelled at him

"I get it Liv, they were in the lift, but they aren't now I promise you are safe, I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you with Lewis and now. We tried so hard to find you, Kerry did we all did" Brian was close to tears he had let her down

"Liv, we can use the stairs I am here, Brian is here. I will get Josh and Michael down here to check out your room and ensure all is ok, I don't think its adviseable to use the stairs" Kerry said gently to her, she had wiped away the tears earlier seeing how it had affected her.

Olivia breathed deeply "Ok"


End file.
